Our Christmas Eve Miracle

December 23

The day started out like every other Thursday before. I dropped off my son  at his dad’s house and headed to my weekly pre-natal yoga class. This time, at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, I was hoping this class would be my last one.

I was feeling much more pressure in my pelvic area and lower back but I was determined to push myself through  class. It was embarrassing, but I could barely do the majority of the poses and stretches. Everything ached in a way that I couldn’t even begin to describe.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get through the 70-minute class and finally, at the end, when the instructor told us to get into our relaxing positions, I felt the sweet tears of relief slip down my cheeks. I was done.

I had grand plans for that afternoon which included last minute Christmas shopping, a few loads of laundry and installing the car seat, but instead I drove home and fell asleep on the couch, skipping lunch and a shower. I hadn’t felt that exhausted in a long while.

When I woke up, 2 1/2 hours later, I felt better, physically, but guilt had taken over as I focused on the things I had not been able to accomplish. It was already 3:00 in the afternoon and I had no motivation. I can get the last minute things done tomorrow, I thought to myself.

My husband was getting off work early that day, so I waited patiently for him to get home, breathing through the few mild contractions that kept occurring.

Just the Two of Us

Once he was home, I quickly lost track of time. I used that time to finally take my daily shower and quickly felt more energized. I became pretty emotional as we then sat and talked about the upcoming weekend, how we would have a few days to ourselves while my son was at his dad’s. Our discussion quickly moved to how it would be a good weekend to have the baby, joking about how badly I was looking forward to no longer being pregnant.

For the next few hours, mild contractions kept me from moving too far from the recliner but I didn’t think twice about how long they lasted or how often they were occurring.

They became even stronger around 1o:00 pm, and suddenly my mind started working overtime, thinking about what we would need in our hospital bag (that hadn’t been packed yet at this point) and internally panicking about if I would be able to handle the labor pains using the hypnobirth techniques that I hadn’t practiced enough. I never once voiced my concern to my husband. I was in denial that this was really happening.

Even though the contractions did not let up over the next hour, I suggested that we go to bed, thinking there were hours ahead of us until we needed to even think about calling the doctor. My husband fell asleep about twenty minutes later. I listened to his heavy breathing and was glad he was getting some rest but over the twenty minutes that followed, the contractions remained consistently strong, coming every twelve minutes.

Reality Check

I started to feel nauseous and with little warning and no energy to get to the bathroom, I threw up all over our bed.  At that point, I finally admitted to myself and verbalized to my husband that it was time to call the doctor, that we needed to time my contractions and, oh yeah, pack for the hospital.

I had him start the self-hypnosis CD so I could get me into a more relaxed state. He called the doctor, left a message and tried to wake up (this all happened so quickly). The most entertaining part of this whole event was him attempting to pack my hospital bag, following instructions from me that included details like, “I need that one thing, and I have no idea where it is but if you could find it, that would be great.”

He was a bit panicked, asking me what he should do as I could barely think or talk between contractions, which were now closer to four minutes apart. The doctor finally called us back as we were  ready to leave the house. The 3 mile ride to the hospital seemed much longer, even though I kept asking my husband to slow down. The contractions were pretty intense at this point but for some reason, I scoffed at his suggestion that I sit in the wheelchair once we arrived so I  hobbled down the hallway in slow motion, finally reaching the birth pavilion of our hospital.

Checking In

We had just had the hospital tour that Monday and filled out our paperwork to pre-register but it still seemed as though it took forever to get checked in. Our room was waiting for us since our doctor called ahead and I stepped into the bathroom to undress as my husband ran out to park the car. I remember thinking that I should not have been left alone at that point. The contractions were so strong that I could barely remove my clothes on my own, or stand, or sit, or walk.

By the time my husband returned, I was in the hospital gown, attempting to climb onto the birthing bed. I think it was around 1:30 am (December 24) when we arrived. The nurse on duty asked me questions about my weight, height and confirmed, after reading over my birth plan (that I hadn’t even shown my husband yet), that I was going to attempt to have a natural birth, a VBAC without any drugs or distraction from the hospital staff.

With the paperwork out of the way, the nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated to 3 centimeters and at that point, I figured I still had a long way to go before the baby would be joining us.

Then, we were left alone and the room remained dark and silent as I squeezed my husband’s hand during each contraction, demanding ice chips and a shoulder massage with simple commands, not able to say more than two words at at time.

Labor Pains

I wasn’t wearing my glasses at this point so I couldn’t see the clock in the room if I wanted to, so I have no idea how long my contractions were lasting or how often but I tried. The pain was intense but was coming in waves. Each time a contraction peaked, I began doubting whether or not I could endure them much longer. In between each one I would share my doubts with my husband, telling him that I didn’t think I could handle anymore. He kept reminding me that I could and we had this same back and forth discussion for at least twenty minutes before I finally asked him to call the nurse in so we could discuss my alternatives for drugs to manage the pain.

The nurse hadn’t been in our room for several hours, honoring my birth plan and not distracting us since it wasn’t necessary. When we told her that I was hoping for pain medication, she told us that she would have to check my progress. Around 5:00 am she shocked us both by telling me that it was too late (for drugs), I was already fully dilated and would probably want to start pushing soon.

Again, we were left alone as the nurse instructed us to inform her as soon as I felt the urge to push. I hesitated for maybe one minute before calling her back in, letting her know that I was ready. I was ready to get this baby out.

Not quickly enough, she and another nurse began preparing the room with everything they would need. My doctor was called and after ten long minutes or so, he came in, whispering and letting me know that our baby would be joining us soon. Already, I was feeling relief, knowing that this process was nearly over.

Just Push It

The doctor came in and congratulated me for making it to this point without any drugs, letting me know what was going to happen next. All I could think about was meeting my baby and wanting him out of me as soon as possible. Everything happened so quickly after that. He asked me to bear down and push, taking breaks in between but I didn’t want to stop once I felt the baby making his way down and out of my body. I pushed and I wailed, my entire body working harder than I ever knew was possible.

Our baby slipped out so fast and suddenly, he was on my belly, still attached to the umbilical cord and I began to weep with relief, joy and sheer amazement that the VBAC was a success, that I didn’t have any drugs and that our baby was finally here.

Bonding Time

The hospital that we birthed at is San Diego County’s first World Health Organization-designated Baby-Friendly birth pavilion, which means that they promote breastfeeding and bonding time (we were not given any formula and were encouraged to start breastfeeding right away).

The baby was placed on my chest immediately after the cord was cut and he stayed there for two full hours before they finally bathed him or put a diaper on his bottom. Yes, he peed all over me, yes, he still had blood on him and YES, it was the most amazing two hours that the three of us had together. My husband took pictures, as we admired our  new baby and delighted in every movement, stretch,  and yawn.

Baby’s First Christmas

We were able to go home the next day, and my older son was waiting anxiously to meet his new brother. We got home just in time to wrap gifts (in plastic bags) and start our Christmas Day celebration with our newest family member. There were presents for the baby and as we opened them, I questioned how everyone knew he would be here for Christmas. I wish someone had let us know.

Our baby is one week old today and already I can’t imagine our lives without him.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

My Birth Plan

It’s all coming together. At 37 weeks pregnant, I am less stressed and more at ease about my upcoming VBAC since I have so many people supporting me and encouraging me to follow this path.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was not relaxed. My husband was living two thousand miles away and although the doctor I originally found came highly recommended, he specializes in high-risk pregnancy and treated me like a high-risk patient from day one. Even though there is nothing high risk about this pregnancy, I convinced myself that he’d be the best doctor to have by my side in case something should go wrong.

The doctor has his standard routine for the moms he works with and I followed along willingly, at first, until I got past the first trimester and my emotional imbalance was no longer a concern. After that, I started feeling better, more confident and sure of the fact that I wanted to have a VBAC. This was not something this doctor could provide so, somewhere early in my second trimester, I started to panic.

Having a C-section with my son 7 years ago was not something I look back on fondly. Just thinking about it brings back some PTSD-type symptoms with my thoughts leading me back to that feeling of having no control over what was happening to my body and not being able to hold my son after he was born.

I cried like a baby when I first found out I would “have to” have a C-section, but as my doctor explained, my son was in breech position AND the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Still, I mourned the loss of the natural birth I had always pictured myself having and longed for the experience of pushing him out into the world, welcoming him into my arms and having him with me the entire time following his arrival.

It was my first child, I had no idea what I was doing or what other options there were, but the doctor I was working with then also specialized in high-risk pregnancies. Since my miscarriage still haunted me, I felt safe with her. I resigned myself to think believe this was the only option and went along with it, ignoring the gut instinct that tried to convince me otherwise.

The C-section wasn’t horrific, but the entire experience was less than ideal. After my son was pulled from me, he was taken away for over an hour; the longest hour of my entire life. His dad went with him, which meant I had to lay there, alone, the entire time, wondering what was going on, already missing the child I had barely met.

This baby will be my husband’s first child. No doubt he’s nervous and anxious about how the labor and delivery will go, but he knows how important it is for me to have the birth that I want and has been 100% supportive of whatever decision I make in regards to this pregnancy.

Finding a doctor who will perform a VBAC was the major challenge in all of this. After sending a panicked email to The Feminist Breeder, reaching out to my local Mommy Blogger friends and even sharing my anxiety and asking questions to those on Facebook and Twitter who had been through this decision-making process before, my plan to go this route has been confirmed. I’m grateful for the many moms who have encouraged me to do whatever it takes to have this baby the way I want to!

I realize there are no guarantees, but with a smooth pregnancy, a supportive doctor, a hypnobirth specialist and my amazing husband behind me, I’m pretty sure this labor & delivery will be closer to the experience that I have always pictured when thinking about bringing a child into the world.

No one knows when the baby will actually make his appearance, but I do know that he will not be taken away from me after he’s born, my husband will be at my side, and I will be able to hold the baby in my arms as we welcome him into this crazy family world.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth)

If you’ve ever been pregnant before, you’ll appreciate the humorous take on this nine month adventure as Dawn Meehan (author and mom blogger) explains the details in her newest book, “You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnacy and childbirth).”

Meant to entertain and amuse, Dawn’s true-to-life accounts of pregnancy will ring true with anyone who hears the word, “Mom,” over a 100 times a day. Of course, Dawn probably hears that word more often since she has six kids and has been pregnant for about 4 1/2 years altogether. Nine months doesn’t sound so bad after that, does it?

Even though I’m in the final stretch of this pregnancy I’ve pretty much forgotten what it was like the first time around. Thanks to Dawn’s book, I can truly laugh about the challenges I’ve had to face during the first two trimesters and remind myself what I have to look forward to over the final few weeks and in the delivery room.

Check out a sampling of Dawn’s wonderful advice:

• Although I don’t believe there’s any evidence that cleaning your house is bad for you during pregnancy, I think you should pretend it is.

• A well-rounded diet:

1. Dairy – a chocolate shake and half a pound of cheese should do the trick.
2. Vegetables – a sixteen-ounce container of spinach dip will do nicely.
3. Fruit – a quarter of a cheesecake topped with raspberry sauce fulfills your fruit requirement
4. Bread – a  loaf of King’s Hawaiian bread (you need something with which to eat the spinach dip) and a pound of butter cookies takes care of your bread requirement.
5. Protein – sausage pizza, a big, fat hamburger, and twenty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (What? Peanut butter has protein!) fills the need for protein.

• On giving up caffeine, Dawn says, “If you plan to give it up altogether, just wear a sign around your neck to give others fair warning. ‘I”m pregnant and I haven’t had any coffee.’ “

• And of course, the Murphy’s Law of pregnancy – “Your baby can be kicking for twenty minutes straight, but the minute you try to get your husband or mom or friend to put their hand on your belly so they can fell her move, she’ll stop. Without fail. Every time.”

Pregnancy is a true adventure for women – and their partners – and humor is a good skill to have to get through it. You’ll Lose the Baby Weight was a book I had a hard time putting down. I will definitely be adding this to my list of perfect gifts for the mom-to-be.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home