Spreading the Love

Each of us has an emotional bank account that keeps us happy and directly relates to a healthy self-esteem. You can think of it like a gas tank too. You can’t run on empty and having over a half tank gets you where you need to go efficiently and without worry. Being able to fill our children and partner’s emotional accounts is the key to a happy family. Being able to ask for what we need to fill ours makes our day-to-day life more enjoyable.

Love Bags

Your kids will enjoy this activity and everyone will feel more connected, knowing what it is that makes each family member feel complete and how to help us keep our own accounts full by asking for what we need.

You can use whatever type of bag you want. Some people choose paper bags that you can decorate with crayons, markers, or stickers. Others prefer cloth bags that are soft and made of material that reflects each family member’s personality. Gift bags and plastic bags with a Valentine’s theme can also be purchased for this activity.

Once each family member has a bag to work with, they will write down on small pieces of paper things to do or say that makes them feel loved. For example, “rub my back,” or “tell me something you love about me,” or “play a board game with me.”

Parents and/or older siblings can help create love bags for children that might not be able to write or verbally communicate what it is that they want included inside. For most young children, it’ll be hugs, reading aloud to them or anything else that requires one-on-one time, down on the floor together.

When someone in the family feels discouraged or just needs some extra loving, they can bring their love bag to another family member. That person selects one item from the bag and gives them what they need in that moment. This also works great for “make-ups” between family members instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry.”

Couples can make separate “adult” love bags as well that they can use to help keep them feel more connected on a romantic level. Be as playful or as naughty as you want – just don’t be afraid to ask your partner to pick something from your love bag when you desire some passion in your day. You’ll also get bonus points with your significant other if you select something from their love bag when they least expect it.

Love Feast

Incorporating this activity into your regular routine makes everyone smile. In our family, we hold a Love Feast for individuals on their birthday. We also do a family Love Feast on Thanksgiving and special occasions. Of course, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to start and implement this new tradition in your home.

At the dinner table or whenever you choose to start the Love Feast, each person will be asked to share something they love with the person across from them, or next to them. It’s simple, fun and something your children will ask to do on a regular basis.

“What I love about you is…” makes a great start to any day. It is also a great thing to say to someone after you’ve done something to put a kink in the relationship. If your child or partner has a bad day at school or work, having a Love Feast will help boost them up – and you as well when you see how their spirits are lifted.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your little ones? Share some of your ideas in the comments section so we can help spread the love on February 14th and every day of the year.

The idea for the Love Bags and Love Feast are from the 5-week parenting course on Redirecting Children’s Behavior created by Kathryn Kvols.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Do You Care for Valentine’s Day?

I  cringe when thinking about the time my ex-husband gave me a Vermont Teddy Bear for Valentine’s Day – over six months after he moved out and filed for divorce.

Even though the card said that it was from my son, I couldn’t help but gag at the idea. I mean, it’s not like our son (who was only 3 at the time) actually picked it out or even suggested that he get me a gift at all. In fact, when I opened the box, my son grabbed the bear, assuming it was for him. I didn’t argue.

Sad to say this is the memory that first came to mind when reading about this contest from Care.com (the largest and fastest growing service used by families to find high-quality caregivers) .

They have put together an awesome Valentine’s Day contest which allows people to share their most romantic or funny Valentine’s Day memory. I’m guessing if you have a story to enter, it’s much funnier and way more romantic than mine.

One lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a trip for two to Los Angeles, including round-trip airfare, a two-night hotel stay at the luxury SLS Hotel with dinner for two at SLS’s Bazaar restaurant and a private VIP tour of the Warner Bros. Studio lot, where “Valentine’s Day” was filmed.  Twelve finalists will each receive two tickets to see the film.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, Care.com will also provide the winners with a free one-month premium membership to find that perfect babysitter.

HOW TO ENTER: Enter at www.facebook.com/caredotcom, and share your most romantic or funniest Valentine’s Day memory. All entries should be rated PG. The twelve finalists will be selected during the months of January and February 2010. One Grand Prize Winner will be selected from among the 12 finalists in February. Three Finalists will be selected by a panel of judges on or around each of the following dates: January 23, 2010, January 30, 2010, February 6, 2010, and February 13, 2010. One Grand Prize Winner will be selected from among the 12 Finalists on or around February 13, 2010.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

How Do You Define Love?

Around Valentine’s Day, my son’s teacher got married. They talked about her wedding in the classroom and we talked about it at home, as well. One night, just before bed, he asked me if I had ever been married to his dad. I told him that we had been married and when he asked for how many minutes, I smiled, and told him that we had been married for thousands of minutes. He liked that answer, but then went on to tell me that his dad no longer loves me.

I think about that word quite often ever since we had this discussion. We use the word, “love,” quite frequently in everyday conversation, and yet, my son, at age 5, understands that it is also a word reserved for a special type of relationship that no longer exists between his father and I.

Without hesitating, I told my son that night that I still love his father, and that I don’t love him, or anyone else, because I expect anything in return.

• I love ice cream.
• I love my new shoes.
• I love your new haircut.
• I love it when you smile.
• I love that song.
• I love getting hugs.
• I love watching the sunset.
• I love singing my son to sleep.

Many people find it difficult to express this type of love and understanding. I tell my current boyfriend that I love him and I am perfectly fine with the fact that he is not able to reciprocate since he lets me know in other ways how much I mean to him.

To me, love is acceptance, understanding and appreciation. I am very grateful for the role certain people play in my life.

I know that loving others is all about accepting them for who they are, knowing that they are perfect in every way, my ex-husband included.

I love the fact that he calls me just to tell me how our son’s day was. I love that he and our son met me for breakfast to have a Family Meeting over the weekend. I love my son’s father for being such an amazing dad and putting our son first at all times.

I love the fact that I don’t have to worry about a thing when my son is with his dad. I can sleep in, or go to bed early and trust that our son is taken care of and will be back with me when it’s “my time,” to be with him again. I love the fact that my son gets the best of both worlds. He learns so much from me and just as much from his father. He truly is lucky to have such loving and passionate parents.

Just recently, after another discussion about self-acceptance, my son looked in the mirror and said, “I love you.” Now, when I say these same words to him he responds, “I love me too,” and I know that he truly gets it.

I love our family. The three of us are unique, beautiful and perfect. What’s not to love?

None of this self-acceptance and unconditional love would have been possible without the Knowledge of Y.O.U. Grounded in science and founded in nature, the Y.O.U. Consulting Group has brought me such great understanding and freedom that I want to share it with everyone I meet. I’m currently a Certified Level III Practitioner and look forward to introducing you to the Knowledge. For information or to meet with me for a one-on-one consultation, please email me directly for details.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Putting Myself First

My son got sick early this morning and is sleeping off whatever it is that made him ill. He doesn’t get sick often so it’s hard to see him so miserable. He woke up asking for more water and didn’t have much energy to even lift his head.

Today was going to be a special day for him at school. It’s the last day of school before Winter Break and also the day they share Valentine’s Day cards with one another. He spent a long time filling out the Valentine’s Day cards and was looking forward to the celebration.

I was looking forward to heading over to a spa in the area for an hour-long session on Putting Yourself First with a friend and life coach who put together the event. Sadly, I will not be able to be there now since I’m here at home while my son sleeps.

It’s ironic that today, putting myself first is not an option. I work with parents who I encourage to set aside time for themselves and with their partner but realistically, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Life gets in the way and responsibilities shift depending on the circumstances and so it is that I am meant to be here, still able to put myself first in some ways since my son isn’t needing my attention right now. I keep going in his room to check on him and although I love watching him sleep, it’s never fun to see him sick.

He’s not himself today and I don’t know when he’ll be back to normal but for the time being, I am getting some things done (coffee, laundry and writing) while I wait for his energy to revitalize him and get him back on his feet.

I promised him that I’d bring his cards to his friends this afternoon and pick up his box of Valentine’s cards that will be set aside for him. He’s leaving for a mini-vacation next week with his dad so I promised myself that I’ll use that time to put myself first. No excuses.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Threesome

Adding a child to a relationship definitely changes the dynamics of a partnership and will usually make things more stressful. People do it every day, though, so there’s gotta be something said for creating families and making the beautiful babies that make the world go around. How do couples survive the tumultuous times ahead of them? What can they do to make things easier on their marriage and friendship?

I work with couples all the time who speak of marital issues that stem from their disagreements on parenting and problems that didn’t occur before children. There are several books I recommend to parents looking for ways to get their relationship back on track and be the happy, loving couple they once were.

Oftentimes, parents don’t take the time to focus on their relationship. They’re busy disciplining their children, paying bills, cleaning house, and putting their children before their marriage. While I don’t tell couples to neglect their kids or set aside their responsibilities, I do encourage them to make time to go out on a date once a week with their partner. Whether it’s a walk through the neighborhood, or dinner and a movie, focusing on your relationship – and not talking about the kids – is a positive thing for the entire family.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I hope that you and your spouse are taking time to do something special alone, without the kids.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Long-Distance Love

Illustrator Valeri Gorbachev is an amazing artist and she teams up with author Sandra Horning in The Giant Hug, a wonderful book about sharing love and spreading joy.

In this adorable picture book, little Owen wants to send his Grandma a hug even though she lives far away. He comes up with a great plan that requires the participation of many people in the community, sending a hug to his Grandma in a unique and inspiring way.

Readers will be able to recognize the power of love in this story. It makes a great gift for far away grandparents and a wonderful book to read with your child when a hug is needed.

Check out more great children’s books for Valentine’s Day (or any day).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Loving Rituals

With Valentine’s Day about a week away, I thought the following book would be a great one to share with parents who are looking for fun ways to let their little ones know exactly how much they are loved.

I Love You Rituals includes over seventy different rhymes and games that provide a message of unconditional love and can also enhance children’s social, emotional, and school success. Winner of a 1999 Parent’s Guide Children’s Media Award, these positive nursery rhymes, interactive finger plays, soothing games, and physical activities can be played with children from infancy through age eight. In only minutes a day, these powerful rituals:

• Prime a child’s brain for learning
• Help children cope with change
• Enhance attention, cooperation, and self-esteem
• Help busy families stay close
• Affirm the parent-child bond that insulates children from violence, peer pressure, and drugs, and much more.

Easy to learn and especially effective in stressful situations, I Love You Rituals gives parents, grandparents, caregivers, and teachers inspiring tools to help children thrive.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What I Love About You

You can’t go wrong this Valentine’s Day if you pick up a copy of Kate & David Marshall’s What I Love About You for your special someone.

The fill-in-the-blank book will have you and your partner focusing on your relationship and what it means to love unconditionally.

This book prompts you to say what is in your heart, but may not always be at the tip of your tongue. Tell the most important person in your life just how much they mean to you by completing the scores of unique, evocative checklists, short answers, and phrases in this attractive gift book:

If we’d first met in a comic strip, the thought bubble over my head would have said…

I adore this little daily ritual or habit we have…

One of your most irresistible physical features is…

I missed you when…

Playful, tender, and personal, this is the perfect gift for the person in your life who makes your pulse race.

Couple this with How to Love Me, by Ali Davis, for more wonderful ways to communicate with your loved one and learn to express your innermost thoughts and desires to strengthen your bond.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

"I Forgot Our Anniversary" Contest

from The Father Life

Did you ever forget a really important date… like your anniversary? Your wife’s birthday? Kinda awkward, eh? Ever go to buy your wife a bra for Valentine’s Day (oh yeah, that’s coming up) and… can’t remember her size? Yeah, so pathetic.

Well, fear not! We recently heard about a new product (thanks to Tyler Wainright of Building Camelot!) called THE LITTLE PINK CARD, “a nifty, wallet-sized card that assists your husband, boyfriend, or significant other in always buying you the perfect gift” and in remembering important dates.

As you can tell from the picture, it’s pretty self-explanatory; but it’s a good lifeline for guys who just can’t seem to remember these critical pieces of information despite their life depending on it. So, we dropped a line to the fine folks over at THE LITTLE PINK CARD and asked if we could do a giveaway with them… and so…

With Valentines Day right around the corner, THE FATHER LIFE and THE LITTLE PINK CARD are happy to bring you our “Help! I Forgot Our Anniversary!” Contest!

Here’s how it works:

• Post your most pathetic “I Forgot _____” story! We’ll read ‘em all and choose the 4 funniest/most pathetic stories about a time you forgot your anniversary, got you wife a flower she was allergic to, etc… you get the idea.
• Have fun! This isn’t meant to humiliate us guys. It’s good to enjoy a good laugh reading these.
• The last day to post your story is Sunday, January 25th.

Here’s what you can win:

• The Little Pink Card will give away 4 cards to the 4 guys with the most pathetic story. They’ll be printed with the info you want for your lady.
• And, even if you don’t win, The Little Pink Card is giving the rest of our readers free shipping/handling on their product (we’ll be posting a link).

Sound good? Great! Post your most pathetic “I Forgot _____” story today for your chance to win! And spread the word! The more stories, the more laughs!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

My Lover is Better Than Yours

Have you seen it? The hearts, the red lovey-dovey Valentine’s displays that get put up in retail stores the second (or a minute, maybe) after the New Year?

Valentine’s Day is the next gift-giving holiday on the calendar and with the economy being what it is, there’s no doubt that this year, lovers will have an even more difficult time coming up with the best present for their significant other. That’s why nominating your partner for the World’s Best Lover contest is a definite win-win!

Love Guru Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University, invites romantics to submit a FREE entry listing why their lover is the best. In return, they’ll receive a FREE certificate for their partner attesting to this loving tribute. This is a perfect Valentine’s gift at no cost.

Each person who submits an entry will also receive a FREE copy of the ebook 52 Sizzling Sex Secrets. Deadline for submissions is February 6th, 2009. The winner will be announced on February 13th. The winner will receive a $2000 scholarship for Loveology University or $1000 cash. PLUS – When you visit the Loveology University facebook page and become a “fan,” we will enter you in a drawing for an ebook from Dr Ava (retail $9.95 see the bookstore for details).

Whether you are married, single, male or female – there is an ebook that can make a difference in your love life.

So go ahead, write the ultimate love letter to your partner by submitting him/her in the World’s Best Lover Contest and let everyone know why your lover is simply the best!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home