Just when I think things are going smoothly and issues with my ex-husband are a thing of the past, he has to remind me why we’re no longer together by doing something as selfish as planning his vacation with our son over a weekend that my son was to be with me.
Not only that, but our son will be missing a day of school instead of planning his trip over Spring Break (our son has off from school for over a week) so that, instead, he can get back at me for some past hurt he’s obviously still feeling.
I read headlines from time to time that say something like, “Father Wins Custody Battle,” which is a complete oxymoron in my book. No one wins in these situations and those that lose the most are the children involved.
We modified our custody arrangement earlier this year and for some reason, I doubted my initial reaction to the wording his lawyer added which allow us both (equally) to have an additional two weeks of vacation throughout each calendar year (a total of 14 days) where we can take our son anywhere, at anytime, so long as we give the other parent a 30-day notice.
According to the vacation plans that my ex has put in place, our son will be with him 4 weekends in a row. All I have to say is that I would never even think about planning a trip over his weekend, nor would I take our son somewhere over his father’s birthday or have him miss school due to a personal vacation. But that’s just me.
Rational thought get thrown out the window when my ex-husband sends me immature text messages (which I responded to in equal fashion), justifying his actions because years ago (when he had the right to prevent us from going) gave us permission to visit my family out of state over Father’s Day weekend.
Yes, I see how that might upset him and yet, I prefer to leave the past where it belongs. I’m not revengeful, nor do I keep track. I can honestly say that I forgive and forget. He, on the other hand, has vowed to keep track and apparently, he’s using our son to get his revenge.
Just this morning, my son mentioned to me that he misses me when he’s with his dad for “too long,” and vice versa. I get it. I miss him too when he’s with his dad for four days and I know he misses his dad when he’s with me over the long weekend.
Could I be cruel and plan our next trip together over a weekend he’s to be with his dad? Sure. It’s only fair, right?
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home