When I separated from my ex-husband three years ago, we were making the same amount of money. Now that I’m relying only on unemployment, I thought it was time to request that the child support be modified. I asked the court for a fee waiver when filing the paperwork since my monthly expenses exceed my income. I had to declare my income (unemployment benefits and child support) and wouldn’t you know it? I “make” too much money to qualify.
The paperwork that came back was titled “Domestic Reject Notice.” I have a good sense of humor and wanted to laugh, but instead, those words only reminded me of how divorce is viewed – by many – as a failure. Yep, in that case, I would be considered a Domestic Reject.
Explaining to my son why his dad and I are no longer married is not easy, but he has asked that question recently. When I sat down to discuss it with him, the word “fail” never came to mind. Did my ex and I fail each other? Definitely. But to understand where we were when we were married and to see where we are now only validates (at least in my opinion) that our marriage was not a failure. Our marriage was pretty successful, especially considering the fact that it ended when it did.
We have succeeded at bringing our beautiful son into the world, we continue to succeed at raising him – together, but separately – and our son is healthy and happy. We’re both very much involved in our son’s life and actively present in the classroom.
I may feel like a Domestic Reject on some occasions, but today is not one of them. Our son started his first day of Kindergarten today and I enjoyed watching him play with the other kids, explore his new classroom and say goodbye (with little hesitation).
I’ll remember this day for a long time and no matter what happens, my son will always know that he has a loving family that continues to succeed by supporting one another.
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home