Archive for the ‘social networking’ Category

Blogger of the Year

I was never Class President or Homecoming Queen and, at the time, I really wasn’t in a place where I would welcome that kind of attention but now, years later, after overcoming my self-esteem issues, here I am, vying for two spots in the blogosphere both locally, and across the board. One might say that they are a popularity contest of sorts, but I choose to look at them as a sign of just how influential we are, as writers and bloggers, those of us who use new media to share, entertain, or inform.

My blog was started back in 2007 (on a Blogger site that still remains…) when my company was formed. My focus is on helping passionate parents become the moms and dads they have always wanted to be.

I’m borrowing this quote from another Parent Coach who I work with because I couldn’t have said it better myself:  “It’s a rare exception to find a parent who doesn’t want, with all their heart, to be the best parent they can be to their children. It’s also a rare exception to find a parent who doesn’t doubt, struggle and wish that they knew more, and ached to be better.”

As a single mom,  raising my young son thousands of miles away from our family, there are certainly many challenges I face on a regular basis. After losing my full-time job and having to downsize and change my lifestyle in many ways, I see the need, even more now, to continue to honor families, support parents and enrich relationships with the daily work that I do mentoring, coaching, and encouraging moms and dads, especially those who have recently separated from their co-parent.

I am humbled, honored and inspired by each and every person who comes across my path, every reader who leaves a comment, shares my words with others, and those who reach out to thank me, ask a question, or just to say hello.

Last year, in 2009, I was included on the list of the Top 50 Power Moms put out by Neilsen. Just this month, my blog was mentioned in San Diego Family magazine (page 103), and my blog is picked up on a regular basis through different sites focusing on health and well-being, including Wellsphere and Intent. I write as the San Diego Parenting Examiner, have a shop through The Open Sky Project and you can also find me as an expert advisor on Parental Wisdom. If there were more time in the day, you would find me elsewhere as I’ve been asked to write for many sites that I’ve unfortunately had to turn down in order to create a balance in my life that works for me.

I’m not sure who nominated me for this award through Influence San Diego, but I take it pretty seriously. The fact that I am influencing families, parents and their children is a big responsibility. We each influence the relationships in our lives, by the words we choose to say (or not say) and by the actions we choices we make and I hope, if nothing else, you reflect on this today when thinking about the way you communicate with those around you.

If you’ve voted for me, I thank you. If you’d like to, simply head over to the Influence San Diego website and click on the arrow next to my logo. When the arrow turns GREEN, your vote has been counted.

Here’s to another year of success, happiness, health and harmony.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

How social media and technology destroy relationships

I studied Communication (along with Psychology & Professional Writing) back in college (in the 90s) when email was the main communication challenge. Answering machines, call waiting, beepers (yeah, I know, I had one) were quickly becoming obsolete and online miss-communication was starting to get in the way of relationships, both in personal lives and in business.

Imagine a time when husbands and wives picked up the phone to chat about plans for dinner, or moms called their girlfriend next door to arrange play dates for their kids. Do you remember what it was like to have  one computer to share, one phone for the entire household, and perhaps even one email address for the whole family?

Today, things are much different. We now have several tools in which to miss-communicate with the people in our lives and with many different devices.

If we’re not careful, these devices could actually ruin the relationships in our lives that we’re trying (in so many ways) to maintain.

Before you confuse me with someone who doesn’t use social media or technology on a regular basis, I need to step back to say that I know social media and technology can, when used correctly, enhance relationships. I would, however, argue that most of us are still trying to figure out the rules and boundaries within our relationships since each is so unique.

Not to change the subject (you’ll see the correlation soon, hopefully), but let’s also look back at the book (also from the mid-90s) called, “The Rules.” At the time it was released, it was pretty controversial and, admittedly, I never did read it but I have read about it and people’s complaints and general dislike for the ideas brought about by the authors. From my understanding, these so-called ‘rules’ were meant for women and provided guidelines to follow in order for them to be successful in love by learning how to manipulate men and not appear so available (the classic hard-to-get scenario).

The only thing that I do comprehend about this book (again, not having read the book), is the title and the idea that relationships require rules in order for them to be successful. With established guidelines, everyone is on the same page from the beginnings.

I believe most of our relationships start without having established rules or boundaries and perhaps some unwritten rules that only one partner is aware of. That spells trouble and I cannot emphasize how destructive these unwritten (or not discussed) rules can be. This is why I heartily agree with those who create pre-nuptial agreements. After all, the paperwork one goes through in a divorce would not be nearly as complex if there were written understandings and rules established going into the relationship. But I digress…

I do think too, we run the risk of taking value away from our own time when we make ourselves available in many different ways (business cards now have long lists of ways to connect with one another without  Hours of Operation).

With social media and technology today, The Rules keep changing. Who makes up the rules when it comes to how often you should contact the other or at what time of day or night? Text messages, email, phone calls, instant messages, Direct Messages, Twitter and other social media tools all are meant to enhance relationships. But again, if no rules have been established, how exactly can they benefit us?

In personal relationships, rules do need to be established. Everyone should have an equal say. What time is too late to text you? Or too early? How many emails can I send to you at work before your boss starts questioning your loyalty? How long do I wait after I send an email before I can legitimately assume you’re ignoring my message?

Many of us get worked up, anxious and are hyper-aware of our phone or the time with every idea, thought or question that’s thrown out there. How do we know, for sure, that the intended party is actually receiving that message? Or interpreting it correctly?

A few weeks ago, my sister sent me a text asking me for my new address. I immediately responded and  then didn’t hear back from her. I ASSUMED that she received my response. A few days after that initial text, she sent another, asking the same question. Have you ever received a duplicate text message in the past? Wouldn’t it be safe to say that the same number of texts also disappear?

I wasn’t thinking about that possibility at the time so, again, I responded right away with my address, this time, getting a little annoyed at her for asking me the same question twice. No one likes having to repeat themselves. Had either one of us actually picked up the phone, I would’ve realized that she had not received either of my responses and that she was getting annoyed with me, for having ignored her. Twice.

The third time she asked for my address I just about lost it.  I was in the middle of a session with a client and checked my phone (habit) when he got up to use the restroom. I sent my address again while explaining to my client what was going on since I was typing away when he returned. By the time the session with my client ended, I looked at my phone again to find her last text saying, “Never mind. I got it from Mom.”

I called her that night, wanting to finally get down to the bottom of it. She had received my other text messages, just not the three with my address. Strange, right? We were both annoyed with the other for no good reason and all of it would’ve easily have been cleared up with a phone call, or even an email.

While sharing this story with my clients and friends, similar stories have come up. Some find it annoying that their spouse doesn’t respond to their texts right away or their boyfriend/girlfriend texts too often. Others find it strange that people don’t respond to their emails on the same day or respond using another method to communicate other than where the conversation originated. Long story short, there have been no rules established in these relationships (with regard to communication).

Most of us go through our day thinking that the way we use technology and social media are being used in the same way, or should be used in the same way. #Fail

With each relationship I have established, I have taken the time to re-evaluate the ways in which I  communicate.  The connection, interaction, and the follow-up (especially when it comes to business) are vital to enhancing any partnership.

Now, I will make it a point to ask more questions. How do you prefer to communicate? What’s the best way to reach you? What’s the best time to call? What do you mean you’re not on Twitter?

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

The next generation of digital picture frames

I love technology and gadgets and of course, photography, so when I heard about the new generation of the eStarling Connected Digital Frame, I knew I had to add it to my wishlist. It’ll simply amaze grandparents, especially those who you might not consider to be tech savvy.

partys

eStarling Connected Digital Frame

It looks like many other digital picture frames that are out there, except this one is much more advanced. With its own Google email address, you can simply send the Connected Digital Frame photographs directly, from anywhere you travel, from your computer or your smartphone.

The touchscreen control panel is where you can do the one-time set up to allow photos to display from Flickr, Facebook, Photobucket and Picasa (to name just a few social networking sites it can access). It also supports short videos (less than 20MB in size)!

eStarling has created a fast, if not immediate, way to keep those at a distance up-to-date with photos, making this a unique gift idea for the holidays or for new grandparents!

PF Digital Inc. has begun taking pre-orders for the frame, which will be available for delivery starting, November 15 – just in time for the holidays! For a limited time, an eStarling Connected Digital Frame can be purchased with free shipping.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Single Moms at Single Dads

I just discovered a new resource for single parents. Single Dad, founded by a man who shares my area code, is an online community which provides articles, blogs and event listings. Basically, it’s a social networking site dedicated to fathers who just so happen to be raising their children on their own (or at least sharing the job with a single mom).



I’ve been looking for a site like this for single moms, but I don’t think they’ll kick me out if I register. A mutual friend, author of Single Mom Seeking, Rachel Sarah, has volunteered to help out Single Dad by providing insight into the life of a single mom.

If you have questions you’d like Rachel to answer, head on over to the Dating and Single Moms page to submit your questions.

Single Parents Connection on Facebook

I joined Facebook back in July, when I attended the Professional Publishing Course at Stanford University. My colleagues from different parts of the world insisted that I join and needless to say, it was a wise decision to finally participate in this networking site for adults.
Unlike MySpace (a circus in comparison), Facebook has clean pages and fun applications that let your contacts know a little more about you and allow you to customize your pages or upload photos, an RSS feed from your blog – or anyone else’s – and chat with those who you are networking with by adding them as a friend.
David, over at Dad’s House, invited me to join the Single Parents Connection group not that long ago. I was thrilled that he and Rachel – of Single Mom Seeking – put together this group of bloggers who all chat about life as a single parent.

If you’re a single parent, you won’t want to miss out on this opportunity to connect with others who know exactly what you’re going through.

10 Things Men Wish Women Would Know

I have been shopping around (so to speak) for relationship advice lately as many people I know have been coming to me (for who knows what reason) to ask me for my thoughts and insight on marriage and the future of love and intimacy as I know it.

Alright, so my suggestions usually fall along the lines of, “Here’s What NOT To Do,” based on my personal experience with a failed marriage and several failed relationships before and afterwards.

Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites have introduced me to may blog, including the lylah blog. Even though this post is from last year, there are relevant ideas here for any relationship (not just marriage)
I need to preface this by saying that I am not a religious person. Even though I grew up Catholic and spent the majority of my education at Catholic schools, I don’t pray or attend church (unless there’s a wedding, baptism or funeral to attend) but I do consider myself a spiritual person.

The reason why I bring this up is that I want to tell you about my experience with the Bible. I read many stories from the Bible growing up and got many things from it. I believe that there are many great lessons to be learned within the pages, whether or not one believes in the stories from a faith point-of-view or, as in my experience, if you enjoy quotes and the power of language.

Let’s face it. The Bible is well-written and well-edited. With my publishing background and love of literature, I look at the Bible much differently as an adult. There are passages and stories written by different people in this collection, and you would be hard-pressed to find one that is not a good storyteller.

I’m getting off track here. What I do want to say though, before I continue with the point of this post, is that I read the Bible as I would any other book. I read between the lines, I disregard some parts of it while re-read others.

The biblical quotes that are included in this list from the lylah blog are powerful and relevant to the message she’s trying to communicate. I encourage you to create your own list (with your partner) to be sure to have a better understanding of his or her needs.
Finally, the list:

   10 Things Men Want Women to Take to Heart:
  1. Don’t Try to Change Me
  2. Respect Me
  3. Understand
  4. Pray for Me
  5. See Me as God Sees Me
  6. Let Me Be Me
  7. Let me OWN the Responsibility
  8. Feed Me (I take this to mean both physically and spiritually)
  9. Build Me Up
  10. Express Your Discontent & Disappointment in Me Without Anger
I would be curious to know what men would want their wives to know and vice versa, that are not included in this list. I encourage you to add them in the comments below.

Blog Day 2008

Blog Day 2008 is two weeks away. Are you prepared?

Blog Day 2008

Participate by adding a badge to your site and research at least 5 blogs to share with others. Instructions are simple:

  1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
  2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2008
  3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
  4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st)
  5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link:
    http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2008 and a link to the BlogDay web site: http://www.blogday.org
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