Rebel with good cause

At anytime in my life, if someone told me I couldn’t do something, I wanted to do it even more. When my doctor told me I couldn’t have a VBAC (with baby #2), I wanted to prove him wrong as well. I wanted to prove that getting a second opinion was the best thing that I could do for myself and for my child.

I did end up having a successful VBAC, once I switched doctors and chose San Diego County’s first World Health Organization-designated Baby-Friendly birth pavilion to deliver at.

One of the first things they did when I checked-in at the hospital was ask if I had a Birth Plan. They read it over and confirmed everything with me and made sure it was followed precisely as I had outlined. My labor and delivery could not have gone smoother.

Now, I realize that I have a high tolerance for pain but having a drug-free, natural VBAC would still not have happened if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband supported me 100% as well as my doctor, the entire hospital staff and my support system of friends and family. Every time I doubted my ability to birth naturally, my people stepped in and reminded me that I could. I believed them because they believed in me.

My son is almost three months old now and I still can’t believe that my original doctor would have insisted that I have a c-section with him. I’d still be in recovery mode and I’d still be doubting the choice I made regarding his birth. I do believe that it should be our choice to birth the way we want to. After all, it’s our bodies and our babies that we’re  ultimately responsible for.

I understand that having a c-section may be medically necessary for some women. I know that there are times when there is really no other alternative, but when the pregnancy has gone smoothly and there’s been ample time between pregnancies (my first son was just days away from turning 7 when baby #2 was born), I also know that birthing naturally is much safer than many would have us believe.

I did my research. I spent many hours reading reports, stories, medical journals and pages from the CDC regarding both repeat C-sections and VBACs. After drowning in thoughts of the health risks associated with both options, I decided that – for me – having a VBAC would be the best choice. I wish it were easier to come to that decision. I felt so alone in having to search for information and finding a doctor that would support me.

I also felt guilt in either choice since there were many people telling me (society in general) that it was selfish of me to want to birth naturally (against what my doctor told me) and that it was selfish of me to have another c-section. I juggled both alternatives up until I finally switched doctors late in my third trimester.

As moms, we’re led to guilty feelings over many of the choices we make in raising our children. I don’t think the guilt needs to begin before our children are even born.

I’m not sure what the point of this post really is, after all, it started out with a discussion about rebellion and how I tend to want things more when they’re forbidden but I don’t believe that anything should be forbidden about the way we bring our children into the world. After all, we are able to choose whether or not we want to become parents in the first place and I believe this pro-choice mentality should carry over into other aspects of our life as well.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you go against your doctor’s orders in any situation, but I do suggest that you do your research and then do what’s best for you. Use the resources that are out there and use your friends to help make the best choice but don’t let others tell you what to do, or what not to do. We’re all different and what works for some, might not work for others. I did what was best for me and what was best for my baby and I have no regrets.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Our Christmas Eve Miracle

December 23

The day started out like every other Thursday before. I dropped off my son  at his dad’s house and headed to my weekly pre-natal yoga class. This time, at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, I was hoping this class would be my last one.

I was feeling much more pressure in my pelvic area and lower back but I was determined to push myself through  class. It was embarrassing, but I could barely do the majority of the poses and stretches. Everything ached in a way that I couldn’t even begin to describe.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get through the 70-minute class and finally, at the end, when the instructor told us to get into our relaxing positions, I felt the sweet tears of relief slip down my cheeks. I was done.

I had grand plans for that afternoon which included last minute Christmas shopping, a few loads of laundry and installing the car seat, but instead I drove home and fell asleep on the couch, skipping lunch and a shower. I hadn’t felt that exhausted in a long while.

When I woke up, 2 1/2 hours later, I felt better, physically, but guilt had taken over as I focused on the things I had not been able to accomplish. It was already 3:00 in the afternoon and I had no motivation. I can get the last minute things done tomorrow, I thought to myself.

My husband was getting off work early that day, so I waited patiently for him to get home, breathing through the few mild contractions that kept occurring.

Just the Two of Us

Once he was home, I quickly lost track of time. I used that time to finally take my daily shower and quickly felt more energized. I became pretty emotional as we then sat and talked about the upcoming weekend, how we would have a few days to ourselves while my son was at his dad’s. Our discussion quickly moved to how it would be a good weekend to have the baby, joking about how badly I was looking forward to no longer being pregnant.

For the next few hours, mild contractions kept me from moving too far from the recliner but I didn’t think twice about how long they lasted or how often they were occurring.

They became even stronger around 1o:00 pm, and suddenly my mind started working overtime, thinking about what we would need in our hospital bag (that hadn’t been packed yet at this point) and internally panicking about if I would be able to handle the labor pains using the hypnobirth techniques that I hadn’t practiced enough. I never once voiced my concern to my husband. I was in denial that this was really happening.

Even though the contractions did not let up over the next hour, I suggested that we go to bed, thinking there were hours ahead of us until we needed to even think about calling the doctor. My husband fell asleep about twenty minutes later. I listened to his heavy breathing and was glad he was getting some rest but over the twenty minutes that followed, the contractions remained consistently strong, coming every twelve minutes.

Reality Check

I started to feel nauseous and with little warning and no energy to get to the bathroom, I threw up all over our bed.  At that point, I finally admitted to myself and verbalized to my husband that it was time to call the doctor, that we needed to time my contractions and, oh yeah, pack for the hospital.

I had him start the self-hypnosis CD so I could get me into a more relaxed state. He called the doctor, left a message and tried to wake up (this all happened so quickly). The most entertaining part of this whole event was him attempting to pack my hospital bag, following instructions from me that included details like, “I need that one thing, and I have no idea where it is but if you could find it, that would be great.”

He was a bit panicked, asking me what he should do as I could barely think or talk between contractions, which were now closer to four minutes apart. The doctor finally called us back as we were  ready to leave the house. The 3 mile ride to the hospital seemed much longer, even though I kept asking my husband to slow down. The contractions were pretty intense at this point but for some reason, I scoffed at his suggestion that I sit in the wheelchair once we arrived so I  hobbled down the hallway in slow motion, finally reaching the birth pavilion of our hospital.

Checking In

We had just had the hospital tour that Monday and filled out our paperwork to pre-register but it still seemed as though it took forever to get checked in. Our room was waiting for us since our doctor called ahead and I stepped into the bathroom to undress as my husband ran out to park the car. I remember thinking that I should not have been left alone at that point. The contractions were so strong that I could barely remove my clothes on my own, or stand, or sit, or walk.

By the time my husband returned, I was in the hospital gown, attempting to climb onto the birthing bed. I think it was around 1:30 am (December 24) when we arrived. The nurse on duty asked me questions about my weight, height and confirmed, after reading over my birth plan (that I hadn’t even shown my husband yet), that I was going to attempt to have a natural birth, a VBAC without any drugs or distraction from the hospital staff.

With the paperwork out of the way, the nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated to 3 centimeters and at that point, I figured I still had a long way to go before the baby would be joining us.

Then, we were left alone and the room remained dark and silent as I squeezed my husband’s hand during each contraction, demanding ice chips and a shoulder massage with simple commands, not able to say more than two words at at time.

Labor Pains

I wasn’t wearing my glasses at this point so I couldn’t see the clock in the room if I wanted to, so I have no idea how long my contractions were lasting or how often but I tried. The pain was intense but was coming in waves. Each time a contraction peaked, I began doubting whether or not I could endure them much longer. In between each one I would share my doubts with my husband, telling him that I didn’t think I could handle anymore. He kept reminding me that I could and we had this same back and forth discussion for at least twenty minutes before I finally asked him to call the nurse in so we could discuss my alternatives for drugs to manage the pain.

The nurse hadn’t been in our room for several hours, honoring my birth plan and not distracting us since it wasn’t necessary. When we told her that I was hoping for pain medication, she told us that she would have to check my progress. Around 5:00 am she shocked us both by telling me that it was too late (for drugs), I was already fully dilated and would probably want to start pushing soon.

Again, we were left alone as the nurse instructed us to inform her as soon as I felt the urge to push. I hesitated for maybe one minute before calling her back in, letting her know that I was ready. I was ready to get this baby out.

Not quickly enough, she and another nurse began preparing the room with everything they would need. My doctor was called and after ten long minutes or so, he came in, whispering and letting me know that our baby would be joining us soon. Already, I was feeling relief, knowing that this process was nearly over.

Just Push It

The doctor came in and congratulated me for making it to this point without any drugs, letting me know what was going to happen next. All I could think about was meeting my baby and wanting him out of me as soon as possible. Everything happened so quickly after that. He asked me to bear down and push, taking breaks in between but I didn’t want to stop once I felt the baby making his way down and out of my body. I pushed and I wailed, my entire body working harder than I ever knew was possible.

Our baby slipped out so fast and suddenly, he was on my belly, still attached to the umbilical cord and I began to weep with relief, joy and sheer amazement that the VBAC was a success, that I didn’t have any drugs and that our baby was finally here.

Bonding Time

The hospital that we birthed at is San Diego County’s first World Health Organization-designated Baby-Friendly birth pavilion, which means that they promote breastfeeding and bonding time (we were not given any formula and were encouraged to start breastfeeding right away).

The baby was placed on my chest immediately after the cord was cut and he stayed there for two full hours before they finally bathed him or put a diaper on his bottom. Yes, he peed all over me, yes, he still had blood on him and YES, it was the most amazing two hours that the three of us had together. My husband took pictures, as we admired our  new baby and delighted in every movement, stretch,  and yawn.

Baby’s First Christmas

We were able to go home the next day, and my older son was waiting anxiously to meet his new brother. We got home just in time to wrap gifts (in plastic bags) and start our Christmas Day celebration with our newest family member. There were presents for the baby and as we opened them, I questioned how everyone knew he would be here for Christmas. I wish someone had let us know.

Our baby is one week old today and already I can’t imagine our lives without him.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

My Birth Plan

It’s all coming together. At 37 weeks pregnant, I am less stressed and more at ease about my upcoming VBAC since I have so many people supporting me and encouraging me to follow this path.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was not relaxed. My husband was living two thousand miles away and although the doctor I originally found came highly recommended, he specializes in high-risk pregnancy and treated me like a high-risk patient from day one. Even though there is nothing high risk about this pregnancy, I convinced myself that he’d be the best doctor to have by my side in case something should go wrong.

The doctor has his standard routine for the moms he works with and I followed along willingly, at first, until I got past the first trimester and my emotional imbalance was no longer a concern. After that, I started feeling better, more confident and sure of the fact that I wanted to have a VBAC. This was not something this doctor could provide so, somewhere early in my second trimester, I started to panic.

Having a C-section with my son 7 years ago was not something I look back on fondly. Just thinking about it brings back some PTSD-type symptoms with my thoughts leading me back to that feeling of having no control over what was happening to my body and not being able to hold my son after he was born.

I cried like a baby when I first found out I would “have to” have a C-section, but as my doctor explained, my son was in breech position AND the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Still, I mourned the loss of the natural birth I had always pictured myself having and longed for the experience of pushing him out into the world, welcoming him into my arms and having him with me the entire time following his arrival.

It was my first child, I had no idea what I was doing or what other options there were, but the doctor I was working with then also specialized in high-risk pregnancies. Since my miscarriage still haunted me, I felt safe with her. I resigned myself to think believe this was the only option and went along with it, ignoring the gut instinct that tried to convince me otherwise.

The C-section wasn’t horrific, but the entire experience was less than ideal. After my son was pulled from me, he was taken away for over an hour; the longest hour of my entire life. His dad went with him, which meant I had to lay there, alone, the entire time, wondering what was going on, already missing the child I had barely met.

This baby will be my husband’s first child. No doubt he’s nervous and anxious about how the labor and delivery will go, but he knows how important it is for me to have the birth that I want and has been 100% supportive of whatever decision I make in regards to this pregnancy.

Finding a doctor who will perform a VBAC was the major challenge in all of this. After sending a panicked email to The Feminist Breeder, reaching out to my local Mommy Blogger friends and even sharing my anxiety and asking questions to those on Facebook and Twitter who had been through this decision-making process before, my plan to go this route has been confirmed. I’m grateful for the many moms who have encouraged me to do whatever it takes to have this baby the way I want to!

I realize there are no guarantees, but with a smooth pregnancy, a supportive doctor, a hypnobirth specialist and my amazing husband behind me, I’m pretty sure this labor & delivery will be closer to the experience that I have always pictured when thinking about bringing a child into the world.

No one knows when the baby will actually make his appearance, but I do know that he will not be taken away from me after he’s born, my husband will be at my side, and I will be able to hold the baby in my arms as we welcome him into this crazy family world.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Non-Raw Sushi Menu for Mamas-to-Be

Giving up certain foods during pregnancy is not easy. I gave up caffeine – for a short while – but I haven’t been able to give up soft cheeses, entirely, and giving up sushi has been a real challenge, especially when my 6 1/2 year old son asks if we can have sushi for dinner.

I asked the people over at Harney Sushi my favorite sushi venues in all of San Diego) if they could put together a safe list of menu items that pregnant women can enjoy and they happily obliged.

“Since there hasn’t been any outside research on this, we prefer not to call it the “pregnancy safe list” but rather the ‘Non Raw Sushi List,’ says Harney Sushi chef, Ian Kadane.

• Hippie Roll (vegetarian) – Tempura sweet potato, shitake mushroom, avocado, cucumber and topped with tempura flakes.
• Emily Roll (vegetarian) – Cucumber, yama gobo, sprouts and topped with avo.
• Veggie Roll (vegetarian) – Fresh cucumber, avocado, radish sprouts and yama gobo.
• Cucumber or Avocado Maki (vegetarian)
• California Roll – Crab salad, cucumber and fresh avocado.
• Flaming Lip Roll – Tempura cali roll with cream cheese. Topped with spicy mayo and jalapeno slices.
• Tater Todds – Halibut wrapped around rice balls, topped with spicy mayo. Baked until golden and topped with eel sauce.
• Miso Harney Roll – Eel, cream cheese and avocado. Then tempura fried perfection. Covered in eel sauce and sesame seeds.
• Shrimp Tempura Roll – Two jumpo tempura Tiger shrimp, avocado, cucumber, crab salad. Topped with eel sauce. (Ask for no masago)
• Soft Shell Crab Roll - Soft shell crab, crab salad, fresh avocado, cucumber. Topped with ponzu sauce. (Ask for no masago)

For those who want to play it safe, Kadane recommends strict vegetarian items. Items containing cooked fish or tempura also make great alternatives. “For pregnant women who miss the taste of sushi, this craving can often be satiated with the flavors of rice, seaweed, ginger, wasabi and various condiments rather than raw fish. Even something simple like a cucumber maki can satisfy the sushi craving.”

Kadane also encourages customers to sit at the sushi bar, especially if they have special needs. He personally likes to make baked rolls (which do not appear on the regular menu) for pregnant women.

While I haven’t had a chance to check out this special menu just yet, I cannot wait to sample each and every one of the suggested items.

What is/was the hardest thing for you to give up during pregnancy? Be honest. I’m also really looking forward to enjoying a cold beer with my sushi rolls.

Good things come to those who wait.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth)

If you’ve ever been pregnant before, you’ll appreciate the humorous take on this nine month adventure as Dawn Meehan (author and mom blogger) explains the details in her newest book, “You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnacy and childbirth).”

Meant to entertain and amuse, Dawn’s true-to-life accounts of pregnancy will ring true with anyone who hears the word, “Mom,” over a 100 times a day. Of course, Dawn probably hears that word more often since she has six kids and has been pregnant for about 4 1/2 years altogether. Nine months doesn’t sound so bad after that, does it?

Even though I’m in the final stretch of this pregnancy I’ve pretty much forgotten what it was like the first time around. Thanks to Dawn’s book, I can truly laugh about the challenges I’ve had to face during the first two trimesters and remind myself what I have to look forward to over the final few weeks and in the delivery room.

Check out a sampling of Dawn’s wonderful advice:

• Although I don’t believe there’s any evidence that cleaning your house is bad for you during pregnancy, I think you should pretend it is.

• A well-rounded diet:

1. Dairy – a chocolate shake and half a pound of cheese should do the trick.
2. Vegetables – a sixteen-ounce container of spinach dip will do nicely.
3. Fruit – a quarter of a cheesecake topped with raspberry sauce fulfills your fruit requirement
4. Bread – a  loaf of King’s Hawaiian bread (you need something with which to eat the spinach dip) and a pound of butter cookies takes care of your bread requirement.
5. Protein – sausage pizza, a big, fat hamburger, and twenty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (What? Peanut butter has protein!) fills the need for protein.

• On giving up caffeine, Dawn says, “If you plan to give it up altogether, just wear a sign around your neck to give others fair warning. ‘I”m pregnant and I haven’t had any coffee.’ “

• And of course, the Murphy’s Law of pregnancy – “Your baby can be kicking for twenty minutes straight, but the minute you try to get your husband or mom or friend to put their hand on your belly so they can fell her move, she’ll stop. Without fail. Every time.”

Pregnancy is a true adventure for women – and their partners – and humor is a good skill to have to get through it. You’ll Lose the Baby Weight was a book I had a hard time putting down. I will definitely be adding this to my list of perfect gifts for the mom-to-be.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

New Designs for Hooter Hiders from Bebe au Lait

I was introduced to Bebe au Lait a few years back and have been following along these last few years, passing on the info to my pregnant friends and new moms.

Of course, now that I’m pregnant, I’m super excited to see the new Fall 2010 designs for their Hooter Hiders (breastfeeding covers) and am coveting several of them (Avignon, Royale, and Poppy Hills are currently at the top of my wish list).

Check out the new designs and let us know, in the comments, which one is your favorite. Click on each design to see a full view of what the nursing cover looks like in real life.

Don’t forget to check out the rest of their products. They have beautifully designed bibs, burp cloths, hooded towels along with unique jewelry and some awesome gift sets for the mom-to-be in your life. They also offer an entire line of nursing covers that are made with organic materials.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Happy Healthy Hip Pregnancy

I think I’ve done more research during this pregnancy than I did when I was pregnant with my son seven years ago. I relied on friends and medical professionals to see me through my pregnancy then and I was so busy with work that the nine months flew right by. Of course, I did browse the occasional website or pregnancy book to follow the progress of the baby and to make sure everything I was experiencing was normal.

This time, I’m so much more aware of the little things going on with my body that I’m constantly checking different resources (for second or third opinions) and it’s making me a little anxious. Of course, the anxiety may have something to do with the fact that my husband isn’t here to experience everything with me. As I count down the weeks we have left to go, I’m making back-up plans, just in case this baby decides to come early. I have a lot to do in order to get ready still.

The insurance company and the plan that we have through my husband’s job is amazing. We’ve enrolled in the Healthy Start program which means that a nurse is assigned to me and she calls from time to time to check in on how things are going. We also will receive a $50 Visa card when the baby comes to spend on whatever we’d like (probably diapers, or other baby essentials).

Through the program, I also received a copy of the book, “Your Pregnancy Week by Week,” which has helpful tips, realistic descriptions and explanations for both mom and dad as well as line drawings of what the baby looks like each of the 40 weeks you’re carrying him or her. There’s even exercise tips (with images) that are helpful, nutritional guidelines, what you can expect at your doctor’s visits as well as pre-pregnancy info (fertility issues, nutrition, lifestyle changes), post-pregnancy info (breastfeeding and recovery) and a full glossary and index for people like me who are curious about specific symptoms, issues or diagnoses.

I probably would have never purchased this book on my own but it’s been very helpful so far and I love that I can pick it up and share it with my son, read a few pages to my husband or look ahead to see what issues I may have to deal with in the coming weeks.

Along with this book, I’ve been encouraged to sign up for the Text4Baby text messaging program which is fun and informative. It’s also FREE which means that even if you don’t have a text messaging plan, you will not be charged for the incoming texts which are sent up to three times a week. If you’re curious about how it works, you can sign up by texting BABY to 511411 and you’ll be guided through the easy setup process which asks for your due date and zip code.

Here are some online pregnancy resources that have helped me out so far and some that I’ll turn to when I’m looking for information after the baby comes:

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding Info – www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding
La Leche League – www.lalecheleague.org

Car Seat Safety

Inspection Sites – www.seatcheck.org
Car Seat Safety & Product Recalls – www.nhtsa.gov
Consumer Product Safety Commission – www.cpsc.gov

Childbearing / Labor & Delivery

Lamaze – www.lamaze.org
Doulas of North America – www.dona.org
International Childbirth Education Association – www.icea.org

Healthy Pregnancy

American Pregnancy Association – www.americanpregnancy.org
Babycenter – www.babycenter.com
Healthfinder – www.healthfinder.gov
March of Dimes – www.marchofdimes.com
Mayo Clinic – www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy/PR99999
WebMD – www.webmd.com/baby/default.htm
Health 4 Mom – www.health4mom.org

Newborns

American Academy of Pediatrics – www.aap.org
SIDS – www.sids.org

Nutrition

USDA, The Pyramid – www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramidmoms
WIC – www.fns.sda.gov/wic

There seems to be so many sites out there devoted to moms and their kids but when it comes to health and accurate information, you obviously need to discuss any concerns or issues with your health care provider. What other sites have I missed that should be included in this list?

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

How it All Began

It’s been brought to my attention that although I have shared intimate details over the past year regarding my relationship with my new husband/father of my soon-to-be-here baby boy, I have not shared the story of how we met fifteen years ago…

I’m sure his version of the story is slightly different than my own, but this is how I remember it.

It was our Freshman year of college.

He was the quiet one. I was intrigued and quickly fell in love with his laugh – and his eyes. You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes.

It took me a while to get up the nerve, but after several months, I found myself face-to-face with him as we ran into each other in between classes. I casually mentioned that I had been wanting to ‘hang out’ – just the two of us – to get to know him better. I can still feel how red my face was and how sweaty my palms were when I finally said this out loud.

He was sweet and sincere and looked me in the eye when he turned me down. He had a legitimate excuse. He had recently started dating someone whom he had met in high school. I didn’t want to interfere, so I let it go.

We spent a lot of time together after that even though his relationship got serious and I got serious about dating other guys. He was always there for me when I needed a guy’s perspective on the relationships I was in.

His girlfriend spent more time with our group of friends and quickly became a familiar face and someone who I was used to having around. She attended a different school, two hours away, and would spend time in our college town every other weekend. The times when he was on his own – so to speak – was when he and I really got to know one another.

During the winter, at night, I worked at the mall, and oftentimes, he would come in to visit and we’d just sit and chat – for hours – while I pretended to get things done. In between classes, during the day (or when we were supposed to be in class) we would drive around and talk. I‘m pretty sure I did most of the talking but he never seemed to mind and I have never – to this day – found anyone who listens as well as he does.

 

Lake Superior (Where it all began)

 

Our friends started to get curious. Was there something going on between us? Why were we spending so much alone time together?

He had the same girlfriend for years. I dated different guys throughout that time and it never once occurred to me that it might seem odd or inappropriate that he and I spent so much time together. We were just friends.

During my fourth, and final, year of college, we became roommates. There were three of us sharing an apartment at the time, two guys and myself. I was in heaven after living with mostly females up until that point (no offense, but I have always gotten along better with guys).

Things were going great until I found out that I was pregnant…

 

Eleven years later, I’m pregnant again and my husband – my best friend of many years – is going to be moving to San Diego to join us soon. It’s been an incredible journey.

Through everything we’ve experienced, and over all those years and despite the distance, we remained friends, great friends. There’s nothing that I have found to be more important in maintaining such a strong, romantic relationship.

We’ve built upon the foundation that was set years ago. I was there for him after he and his girlfriend broke up. He was there for me after my divorce and helped me realize that I am much stronger than I ever knew I could be.

Through all these years, we’ve been there for one another and I am ever so grateful that we have many more years  ahead of us to share together.

The roots of our relationship are deep. We’re planting the seeds so that our boys (our baby and my son from a previous relationship) have a healthy and stable couple to look up to and learn from.

If someone had told me ten years ago that someday I’d end up married to Mr. Right, I would’ve laughed. We would’ve laughed about it together.

Love looks different at 33 than it did at 22 and it’ll look different in another decade, but I have no doubt that if we can survive – apart – what we’ve been through so far, our relationship can only get stronger as we continue to grow, live, and laugh – together.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Stupid Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Is there an etiquette book out there on what NOT to say to a pregnant woman? There should be.

Here are a few of the things that have been said to me – so far – that have been a little less than flattering. Of course, now that I’m in the third trimester (and waddling like a penguin), I have less patience for stupid people but seriously?! Even other moms have said some pretty stupid things to me, such as:

1. “Oh, you look so cute. Your belly is the only thing that’s gotten fat.” – Um, did you just call me fat? Using the word cute beforehand does not soften the blow. I don’t consider myself fat (I’m pregnant) but thanks for bringing the extra weight to my attention. I hadn’t noticed until now.

2. “You must be due any day now!” - No, actually, I have a few months to go but thanks for asking. You know what happens when you assume…

3. “Oh, you’re having another boy?” - When this is said in a negative tone, you suck. You might as well have said, I’m sorry to hear that,” since that’s exactly how I interpret your expression. That’s pretty much why I’m looking at you with that blank stare. I have no idea what to say next. Other than STFU.

4. “Are you sure there’s only one in there?” – Again, I already know how big I am, I don’t need you to remind me that I can’t see my own feet or that I could knock out a small toddler if I swing my stomach in their direction unexpectedly.

5. “Looks like you’ve got a bun in the oven.” – Really?! People still use this expression? Because it’s a stupid one.

What did people say to you while you were pregnant that annoyed you? Let’s share – and then get over it because I know none of the people saying these things meant any harm but, at least for me, the third trimester = PMS, so you’ve been warned.

Oh, and for those of you who have asked first before touching my growing belly, thank you. I don’t mind being rubbed down like Buddah, but respecting me enough to ask my permission first makes this mama happy.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Good Vibrations

I’m always thrilled when local companies find me – through my site – and want to partner me with me in a way that benefits both of us.

When the husband and wife team from Good Vibrations Family Chiropractic contacted me a few months back, I was thrilled. Here’s a company that is in the health & well-being field and whose primary focus is the family. They work with children and even young infants and toddlers as well as adults here in San Diego. Drs. Stacey and Joe Merlo have one child with a second on the way.

It wasn’t until my son started to visibly show signs of discomfort in his neck that I thought to contact them about being seen as a client. The timing couldn’t have been more appropriate for me either, as my back started to become sore with the extra pregnancy weight around that same time.

We made an appointment and met with Dr. Joe Merlo who is wonderful to work with. What I love most about him and Good Vibrations (after years of experience with different chiropractors in different offices) is that their office feels more like home. It’s very welcoming, the furniture and decor is bright and fun and doesn’t seem sterile or much like a doctor’s office at all. He also approaches his clients with a personal touch, hugging me after each session and leaving me with a question or thought to ponder over after I walk out the door.

Before my initial visit, I was asked to fill out some paperwork. Pretty standard for any first-time health visits. Although the questions asked were a bit different. I was asked to list 5 things or ways in which I would personally start working towards a healthier lifestyle and it was a great reminder about all those New Year’s resolutions we make to ourselves that get forgotten before summer even hits.

Here’s my list, which Dr. Joe now has as well so he can continue to support me and keep me on track for a healthier pregnancy:

1. Walking – As a runner, it’s been hard for me to literally slow down now that I’m pregnant. Each time I get my shoes tied and head out for a 2 mile walk, I get frustrated that I can’t pick up my feet and take off like I used to do. I need to remind myself that this time (during pregnancy) is all about slowing down in many ways and I would love to get out and walk more often, but perhaps at smaller distances (1 mile every other day would be ideal).
2. Meditation - Speaking of slowing down, my mind has been racing with everything that’s going on in my world. I used to meditate often and find myself better able to sleep and function throughout the day when I do. My intention is to meditate for just a few minutes before bed each night and slow down my mind which can get the best of me at times.
3. Yoga - I love yoga. I remember doing yoga poses with my mom in the early 80s and got back into it during my pregnancy with my son nearly seven years ago. It was a great way to keep in shape during my pregnancy but after being away from it for so long, I nearly forgot how beneficial it truly is. Just yesterday, I took my first pre-natal yoga class during this pregnancy and cannot wait to go back again next week.
4. Writing – This is huge for me – and for most of you reading this. There was a time when I was posting something here every single day and lately I haven’t been inspired or motivated or even very enthusiastic about keeping up to date with what’s going on. That has to change. It keeps me sane (somewhat) so expect to hear from me more often. Those of you who know how to reach me should pester me if you don’t.
5. Sleep – We all know that getting a good night’s sleep is great for so many reasons but having a consistent schedule is just as important. With this pregnancy, I have such a varied sleep schedule that I’ll nap during the day and then have a difficult time getting to sleep that night. So then I stay up late and sleep in the next morning only to find that the pattern begins all over again and there’s no routine or hours that I keep that are consistent. This also has changed now that my son has started school. I go to bed when he does, wake up early to get his lunch ready and start my day – pushing away the urge to nap so that I can get to bed at a reasonable time. Coffee helps. Trust me. But implementing the other four things I listed above help just as much.

All five of these are things I should be implementing in my life on a regular basis. I’m just so grateful that Dr. Joe is holding me accountable for them. And now that they’re here, in writing, I encourage you to share 5 things that you can do or plan on doing to optimize your overall health. Please leave a comment here, or link to a blog post that you’ve created with your list.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home