Surviving Early Parenthood

The first few months of motherhood are especially challenging. Sleep deprivation and trying to translate baby’s cries while somehow getting everything else done is not easy.

Surviving early parenthood requires much support from family and friends, especially at the end of the day when both baby and mom are ready to have a melt down.

With my first son, I had two months of maternity leave before returning to work, full-time. Every morning, I would shower and get myself ready, eat breakfast, wake up the baby to feed and dress him, pack my lunch, grab the breast pump (in its convenient backpack) and change the baby’s diaper once again before heading out the door for work. By noon, I had already fed the baby three times, pumped twice and daydreamed about finally hitting the pillow at the end of the night.

My inspiration

Working from home brings on a set of entirely different challenges. While I don’t have to shower or put make-up on for this job, it does require quiet time when I can sit and write without interruption. We all know how that goes with an infant to tend to.

I was asked, recently, to share some advice for working moms in regards to returning to work after having a baby. I laughed at that request, since I could certainly use some tips myself on balancing a work-at-home career while taking care of a baby.

If you have any tips or suggestions, please share them!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Do parents get to sleep-in anymore?

My son and I started a family tradition a few years back of having sleepovers in the living room. We pull out our sleeping bags and a big pile of blankets and sleep on the floor. Sleepovers involve eating snacks while watching a movie (of his choosing) and staying up late. It’s great to see how excited he gets when we have a sleepover but just the thought of being able to sleep-in gets me excited.

With a new baby, or young children of any age, sleep is something most of us moms and dads daydream about and can never seem to get enough of. Yes, sleeping in sounds like a thing of the past even though I know how important it is – for all of us – to get plenty of rest.

February 19th is National Sleep-In Day and I’m hoping that we can take advantage of it by staying in our PJs a bit longer than usual that morning. My sister and her oldest son will be visiting so perhaps a sleepover the night before will also be on the agenda.

P.J. Salvage, a clothing line that makes cute and comfy pjs will be donating 500 pairs of pajamas to The Pajama Program, a non-profit organization that delivers books and pajamas to children and teens living in foster homes, awaiting adoption.

Celebrating its 10th year, The Pajama Program is a great way to get your family involved by donating new books or pajamas to kids that might not have someone to tuck them in each night.

In conjunction with National Sleep-In Day, P.J. Salvage wants to remind parents of the importance of getting a good night’s sleep:

• Quality of sleep, not quantity, can improve overall health. Our bodies need deep sleep to metabolize glucose properly. People should generally aim for 7-9 hours of sleep a night.

• Sleep strengthens our mental muscle. It helps us focus, stay alert, think critically, creatively and logically. With sufficient sleep, we can set goals and plan to see them through.

• Sleep directly affects physical performance by enhancing our reaction time and productivity to keep us on our A Game.

• Sleep helps us stay fit. Without quality sleep, our body goes into starvation mode and releases stress and growth hormones that stimulate hunger and retain fat in our abdominal region. This often causes the appearance of a bloated or rounded tummy.

• Sleep energizes us and allows us to motivate for our favorite activities. Sleep helps refuel our internal gas tank. When we’re on empty, we just can’t go because we’re too lethargic to move.

• Sleep provides restorative time for worn down muscles and body parts. When we work out, we break down our muscles, which then need to rebuild to become stronger and leaner. Sleep is an essential part of that process. Without it our muscles can and won’t change and our bodies will feel sore for longer. Physical activity is not enough on it’s own to deliver weight loss and toning results. Sound sleep is just as important to sculpting a beautiful body.

Sleep comes in all shapes and sizes. Getting a catnap in on the couch does wonders for my afternoon – and my sanity.

Check out this awesome sleep chart that provides guidelines on how much sleep your little ones should be getting. My first son was sleeping through the night at three months, thanks to this chart.

Try to sleep when your baby sleeps. You’ll see the difference it makes when you follow that one simple suggestion. If only I could take my own advice.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Savoring the moment

This week has been a bit emotional for me. My husband went back to work and I was a bit anxious about how I’d handle being home alone with the baby.

Even with a few sleepless nights, I somehow managed to get through the last few days without having a breakdown.

Having a second child seven years after the first has been an interesting experience. I can see how some parents would naturally compare their kids to one another since they’re each so unique, but since it’s been so long since my first son was an infant, I honestly don’t remember much about those early days.

What I do remember, quite clearly, is how difficult it was for me to adjust to being a first time mom, especially after I went back to work, full-time. The juggling of both career and motherhood was not an easy balance for me. I suffered from postpartum depression (not diagnosed early enough) and felt stressed and anxious fairly often.

Circumstances are much different with Baby #2. Motherhood is my full-time job now and so far, it’s been much less stressful, and much more fun, than the first time around.

I went for a walk with the baby a few days ago which turned into a mini-adventure for us. Just before reaching the 2-mile mark (our halfway point), he woke up screaming. I had fed him before our walk began so I knew he wasn’t hungry but he also wasn’t tired since he had been asleep for a little while.

Seven years ago, I would’ve stressed out about why my baby was crying and what I would do or where I would go since there was nowhere within sight to sit down. I most likely would’ve been in tears myself, questioning my every instinct.

Luckily, we were close to a little bakery on the boardwalk, so we stopped inside. I had never been there before and there was a comfortable couch and recliner there which made me feel right at home. I purchased a coffee and sat with the baby while he continued to fuss for about twenty minutes. I wasn’t in a hurry. I had nowhere to go and nothing on my to-do list that couldn’t wait.

Seven years ago, I would’ve been stressing about having to be somewhere or having things to do that would keep me from simply enjoying the quiet time with my baby.

Finally, he filled his diaper (hence the fussing) and I was able to change him and continue our walk as he fell asleep again, content and clean!

When we got home, I noticed a tiny hummingbird flying from its nest which was on our neighbor’s balcony. It stopped me in my tracks and brought me back to January of 2004, when I first came home from the hospital with my oldest son.

When I was pregnant with him, I discovered a hummingbird which had built her nest in a small tree right outside our front door. Around the time my son was born, I noticed a tiny egg in her nest and every day, walking outside with him in my arms, we peeked at the little egg and waited for it to hatch.

After the baby hummingbird was born, it stayed in the nest for several days before it was strong enough to fly on its own. It was bittersweet seeing the empty nest just a few days later, knowing that the baby and mom were both out enjoying their world and thinking about how quickly our offspring grow up.

From time to time, I’d see the hummingbird near that tree and over the 6 years that we lived in that apartment, it would come back to visit and remind me of those precious first moments with my son.

I just looked up the symbolism behind hummingbirds, reminding myself that at one point (after my first son was born) I had intended to get a tattoo of a small hummingbird on the back of my shoulder. I had forgotten all about it until this week.

Because of their ability to hover and take their time drinking nectar, hummingbirds are often thought to be reminders that life is meant to be savored.

Yesterday, my son and I came home from school to find the hummingbird in front of our door (on the welcome mat). It was clear that he was dying but had left his nest (or possibly couldn’t find it) to die in a dark, quiet spot. It was a sad, ironic moment, recalling what the hummingbird symbolizes and realizing that this week has been all about slowing down and savoring every moment, that life is too short to stress over the little things.

It’s something I need to continue to remind myself.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

The Case of the Leaky Car Seat

Why wasn’t I warned about this?

Our morning is nearly over and already my baby has taught me a great lesson that I want to pass on to you, and every other parent who leaves their little one asleep in his car seat.

After dropping off my son at school, I took a walk with the baby near the ocean and fed him before returning home. He fell asleep in the car, naturally, so I brought his car seat into the bathroom with me while I showered. He did not make a peep but after I stepped out of the shower, I heard him do what he does best – fill his diaper. I finished getting dressed and moved his car seat back into the living room. I returned to the bathroom to turn off the light and there it was, the first clue:

Clue #1

I quickly removed sleeping-baby from car seat to find this:

Clue #2

I solved the mystery: We don’t have a leaky car seat. We have a leaking baby!

Suspect Apprehended

Lesson learned: Be careful where you put your sleeping-baby-in-car-seat. Actually, be careful where you place baby’s bottom, whether he’s asleep or not.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Day One

After taking advantage of California’s Paid Family Leave and one full month to bond with our baby (and to help me stay sane), my husband went back to work yesterday. Although I was anxious about how it would go, I had a great day.

The morning started off with a visit to the pediatrician and a trip to the grocery store. Home to eat and feed the baby before heading out, yet again, to get my brows waxed (long overdue) and to drop off two bags of maternity clothes to a friend and mom-to-be-blogger. Home once again to feed the baby before heading out to pick up my son from school.

The baby slept most of the morning during all of these trips in the car but once we were home with his big brother, he decided to stay awake. By the time we all went to bed for the night, I was done. Not much energy left to function at that point.

I woke up to the baby fidgeting and grunting – the first clue that he either needs his diaper changed or milk. This was around 2:30 am so we slipped out of the bedroom and I changed his diaper and fed him before returning us all to bed (Oh, and I might have watched an episode of The Cake Boss that was waiting for me on the DVR during this particular feeding).

Less than two hours later, I was awakened by the baby again and since my brain was no longer working, I did what came naturally to me. I picked up the baby and started our usual nighttime routine again – diaper change and feeding. Only this time, he spit up most of what he ate before I realized that he wasn’t hungry. He had only eaten  a few hours prior. Duh.

Lesson learned: Sometimes it’s ok to change the baby’s diaper and put him right back to bed.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

con Leche

Our baby boy was born on Christmas Eve morning. I hadn’t packed my hospital bag ahead of time so I wasn’t feeling quite as prepared as I had hoped when I went into labor.  Luckily, I had made a quick trip to Babies R Us earlier in the week so we did have everything we needed, or so I thought.

The morning after our baby was born, my husband went home to shower and to grab a quick bite to eat (the cafeteria food wasn’t cutting it for him). He showed up a few hours later with a small gift in hand. Even though it was Christmas Day, it still brought me to tears. This is certainly one Christmas I will never forget.

Inside the box was a watch, one that was on my wish list but that still came as a surprise. I haven’t worn a watch in years and even though I recall saying a few years back that the wrist watch would soon be obsolete (what with everyone carrying a phone which tells the correct time), I fell in love with the watches from con Leche that I had discovered during my pregnancy.

con Leche (Spanish for “with milk” or “milky”), makes stylish watches for breastfeeding moms. Underneath the standard dial that tells the current time is a second dial which shows the time of baby’s last feeding and is manually reset each time your breastfeed. You can also record which side baby nursed on at each feeding by manually setting “L” (left), or “R” (right). Ingenious.

When my first son was born and breastfeeding was new to both of us, I kept track of each feeding on a piece of paper but soon discovered that having that paper handy at each feeding was the most challenging part of the process.

Breastfeeding can be a struggle during the first few weeks but it does get easier. My new watch is a lifesaver and makes feeding the baby much less stressful since I simply glance down at my wrist to determine when, approximately, his next feeding will be.

I highly recommend adding a con Leche watch – with three unique designs – to your baby registry or for dads to purchase as a push present for their partner. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift (besides our Christmas Eve baby).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Losing the Baby Weight

My baby is a week old already and up until a few days ago, I was feeling good about losing the baby weight one day at a time. Up until my older son told me that I no longer looked pregnant; I look fat. Yeah, at least he’s honest.

Luckily, I have the #NewYearNewMe challenge to look forward to. I feel like I’ve already made progress. The CalorieStory app on Facebook keeps track of my daily calorie budget and with the help of the amazing sponsors of this weight loss / get healthier challenge, I’m excited to share my goals and work toward reaching them.

This year, and this month in particular, I  pledge to exercise for at least 30 minutes three times a week, take the stairs when I can and eat a healthy breakfast each morning.

Take the pledge with me and challenge yourself to a New You this month. It’s a New Year and you deserve the best start possible. Every pledge you make enters you into a drawing to win some great prizes from the following sponsors.

The Carb Lovers Diet is a book filled with recipes that I immediately started to incorporate into my daily routine. Eating oatmeal with bananas, walnuts & cinnamon is a  healthy and delicious breakfast. I’m excited to try out the other recipes that feature the thing that I craved most during my pregnancy: carbs.

I won’t fit into it just yet, but another sponsor, Our Love Yoga, sent a beautiful purple tank top which I plan on using once I reach my weight loss goal.

Yoga Pulse DVDs were also provided for my participation in this month-long challenge and Goodbelly sent a 12-day supply of their Pomegranate Blackberry flavored probiotic drinks. You can take their 12-day challenge as well. They’re so sure Goodbelly will put a smile on your face after 12 short days that they guarantee it, or it’s free!

Larabar, another sponsor, sent a t-shirt and a bag of 100 calorie fruit & nut bars, made of 100% whole food. They come in a variety of flavors and I have yet to find one that I do not like. I threw a few in the diaper bag already and everyone in my house has been enjoying them since they arrived and I intend to refill our supply as soon as we run out.

Head on over to Facebook to make your pledge, invite your friends to support you and your goals for creating a healthier you. You deserve it!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Our Christmas Eve Miracle

December 23

The day started out like every other Thursday before. I dropped off my son  at his dad’s house and headed to my weekly pre-natal yoga class. This time, at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, I was hoping this class would be my last one.

I was feeling much more pressure in my pelvic area and lower back but I was determined to push myself through  class. It was embarrassing, but I could barely do the majority of the poses and stretches. Everything ached in a way that I couldn’t even begin to describe.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get through the 70-minute class and finally, at the end, when the instructor told us to get into our relaxing positions, I felt the sweet tears of relief slip down my cheeks. I was done.

I had grand plans for that afternoon which included last minute Christmas shopping, a few loads of laundry and installing the car seat, but instead I drove home and fell asleep on the couch, skipping lunch and a shower. I hadn’t felt that exhausted in a long while.

When I woke up, 2 1/2 hours later, I felt better, physically, but guilt had taken over as I focused on the things I had not been able to accomplish. It was already 3:00 in the afternoon and I had no motivation. I can get the last minute things done tomorrow, I thought to myself.

My husband was getting off work early that day, so I waited patiently for him to get home, breathing through the few mild contractions that kept occurring.

Just the Two of Us

Once he was home, I quickly lost track of time. I used that time to finally take my daily shower and quickly felt more energized. I became pretty emotional as we then sat and talked about the upcoming weekend, how we would have a few days to ourselves while my son was at his dad’s. Our discussion quickly moved to how it would be a good weekend to have the baby, joking about how badly I was looking forward to no longer being pregnant.

For the next few hours, mild contractions kept me from moving too far from the recliner but I didn’t think twice about how long they lasted or how often they were occurring.

They became even stronger around 1o:00 pm, and suddenly my mind started working overtime, thinking about what we would need in our hospital bag (that hadn’t been packed yet at this point) and internally panicking about if I would be able to handle the labor pains using the hypnobirth techniques that I hadn’t practiced enough. I never once voiced my concern to my husband. I was in denial that this was really happening.

Even though the contractions did not let up over the next hour, I suggested that we go to bed, thinking there were hours ahead of us until we needed to even think about calling the doctor. My husband fell asleep about twenty minutes later. I listened to his heavy breathing and was glad he was getting some rest but over the twenty minutes that followed, the contractions remained consistently strong, coming every twelve minutes.

Reality Check

I started to feel nauseous and with little warning and no energy to get to the bathroom, I threw up all over our bed.  At that point, I finally admitted to myself and verbalized to my husband that it was time to call the doctor, that we needed to time my contractions and, oh yeah, pack for the hospital.

I had him start the self-hypnosis CD so I could get me into a more relaxed state. He called the doctor, left a message and tried to wake up (this all happened so quickly). The most entertaining part of this whole event was him attempting to pack my hospital bag, following instructions from me that included details like, “I need that one thing, and I have no idea where it is but if you could find it, that would be great.”

He was a bit panicked, asking me what he should do as I could barely think or talk between contractions, which were now closer to four minutes apart. The doctor finally called us back as we were  ready to leave the house. The 3 mile ride to the hospital seemed much longer, even though I kept asking my husband to slow down. The contractions were pretty intense at this point but for some reason, I scoffed at his suggestion that I sit in the wheelchair once we arrived so I  hobbled down the hallway in slow motion, finally reaching the birth pavilion of our hospital.

Checking In

We had just had the hospital tour that Monday and filled out our paperwork to pre-register but it still seemed as though it took forever to get checked in. Our room was waiting for us since our doctor called ahead and I stepped into the bathroom to undress as my husband ran out to park the car. I remember thinking that I should not have been left alone at that point. The contractions were so strong that I could barely remove my clothes on my own, or stand, or sit, or walk.

By the time my husband returned, I was in the hospital gown, attempting to climb onto the birthing bed. I think it was around 1:30 am (December 24) when we arrived. The nurse on duty asked me questions about my weight, height and confirmed, after reading over my birth plan (that I hadn’t even shown my husband yet), that I was going to attempt to have a natural birth, a VBAC without any drugs or distraction from the hospital staff.

With the paperwork out of the way, the nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated to 3 centimeters and at that point, I figured I still had a long way to go before the baby would be joining us.

Then, we were left alone and the room remained dark and silent as I squeezed my husband’s hand during each contraction, demanding ice chips and a shoulder massage with simple commands, not able to say more than two words at at time.

Labor Pains

I wasn’t wearing my glasses at this point so I couldn’t see the clock in the room if I wanted to, so I have no idea how long my contractions were lasting or how often but I tried. The pain was intense but was coming in waves. Each time a contraction peaked, I began doubting whether or not I could endure them much longer. In between each one I would share my doubts with my husband, telling him that I didn’t think I could handle anymore. He kept reminding me that I could and we had this same back and forth discussion for at least twenty minutes before I finally asked him to call the nurse in so we could discuss my alternatives for drugs to manage the pain.

The nurse hadn’t been in our room for several hours, honoring my birth plan and not distracting us since it wasn’t necessary. When we told her that I was hoping for pain medication, she told us that she would have to check my progress. Around 5:00 am she shocked us both by telling me that it was too late (for drugs), I was already fully dilated and would probably want to start pushing soon.

Again, we were left alone as the nurse instructed us to inform her as soon as I felt the urge to push. I hesitated for maybe one minute before calling her back in, letting her know that I was ready. I was ready to get this baby out.

Not quickly enough, she and another nurse began preparing the room with everything they would need. My doctor was called and after ten long minutes or so, he came in, whispering and letting me know that our baby would be joining us soon. Already, I was feeling relief, knowing that this process was nearly over.

Just Push It

The doctor came in and congratulated me for making it to this point without any drugs, letting me know what was going to happen next. All I could think about was meeting my baby and wanting him out of me as soon as possible. Everything happened so quickly after that. He asked me to bear down and push, taking breaks in between but I didn’t want to stop once I felt the baby making his way down and out of my body. I pushed and I wailed, my entire body working harder than I ever knew was possible.

Our baby slipped out so fast and suddenly, he was on my belly, still attached to the umbilical cord and I began to weep with relief, joy and sheer amazement that the VBAC was a success, that I didn’t have any drugs and that our baby was finally here.

Bonding Time

The hospital that we birthed at is San Diego County’s first World Health Organization-designated Baby-Friendly birth pavilion, which means that they promote breastfeeding and bonding time (we were not given any formula and were encouraged to start breastfeeding right away).

The baby was placed on my chest immediately after the cord was cut and he stayed there for two full hours before they finally bathed him or put a diaper on his bottom. Yes, he peed all over me, yes, he still had blood on him and YES, it was the most amazing two hours that the three of us had together. My husband took pictures, as we admired our  new baby and delighted in every movement, stretch,  and yawn.

Baby’s First Christmas

We were able to go home the next day, and my older son was waiting anxiously to meet his new brother. We got home just in time to wrap gifts (in plastic bags) and start our Christmas Day celebration with our newest family member. There were presents for the baby and as we opened them, I questioned how everyone knew he would be here for Christmas. I wish someone had let us know.

Our baby is one week old today and already I can’t imagine our lives without him.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth)

If you’ve ever been pregnant before, you’ll appreciate the humorous take on this nine month adventure as Dawn Meehan (author and mom blogger) explains the details in her newest book, “You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnacy and childbirth).”

Meant to entertain and amuse, Dawn’s true-to-life accounts of pregnancy will ring true with anyone who hears the word, “Mom,” over a 100 times a day. Of course, Dawn probably hears that word more often since she has six kids and has been pregnant for about 4 1/2 years altogether. Nine months doesn’t sound so bad after that, does it?

Even though I’m in the final stretch of this pregnancy I’ve pretty much forgotten what it was like the first time around. Thanks to Dawn’s book, I can truly laugh about the challenges I’ve had to face during the first two trimesters and remind myself what I have to look forward to over the final few weeks and in the delivery room.

Check out a sampling of Dawn’s wonderful advice:

• Although I don’t believe there’s any evidence that cleaning your house is bad for you during pregnancy, I think you should pretend it is.

• A well-rounded diet:

1. Dairy – a chocolate shake and half a pound of cheese should do the trick.
2. Vegetables – a sixteen-ounce container of spinach dip will do nicely.
3. Fruit – a quarter of a cheesecake topped with raspberry sauce fulfills your fruit requirement
4. Bread – a  loaf of King’s Hawaiian bread (you need something with which to eat the spinach dip) and a pound of butter cookies takes care of your bread requirement.
5. Protein – sausage pizza, a big, fat hamburger, and twenty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (What? Peanut butter has protein!) fills the need for protein.

• On giving up caffeine, Dawn says, “If you plan to give it up altogether, just wear a sign around your neck to give others fair warning. ‘I”m pregnant and I haven’t had any coffee.’ “

• And of course, the Murphy’s Law of pregnancy – “Your baby can be kicking for twenty minutes straight, but the minute you try to get your husband or mom or friend to put their hand on your belly so they can fell her move, she’ll stop. Without fail. Every time.”

Pregnancy is a true adventure for women – and their partners – and humor is a good skill to have to get through it. You’ll Lose the Baby Weight was a book I had a hard time putting down. I will definitely be adding this to my list of perfect gifts for the mom-to-be.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

New Designs for Hooter Hiders from Bebe au Lait

I was introduced to Bebe au Lait a few years back and have been following along these last few years, passing on the info to my pregnant friends and new moms.

Of course, now that I’m pregnant, I’m super excited to see the new Fall 2010 designs for their Hooter Hiders (breastfeeding covers) and am coveting several of them (Avignon, Royale, and Poppy Hills are currently at the top of my wish list).

Check out the new designs and let us know, in the comments, which one is your favorite. Click on each design to see a full view of what the nursing cover looks like in real life.

Don’t forget to check out the rest of their products. They have beautifully designed bibs, burp cloths, hooded towels along with unique jewelry and some awesome gift sets for the mom-to-be in your life. They also offer an entire line of nursing covers that are made with organic materials.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home