Help!

Asking for help is probably one of the most difficult things for me to do. I offer help, I’m here for others if and when they need me. Most women and moms are – giving to and taking care of others before thinking of themselves. Yet, at the same time, I was taught to take care of myself, be independent and not (have to) rely on others.

It’s not easy to admit when things are going not-as-planned and when circumstances out of my control have led me to a challenge that I don’t quite know how to face.

Last week, I faced the family court judge as she explained that I would need to prove that I’m looking for work, truly trying to find a job that will support my son and I.

You see, I didn’t ask for help when I truly needed it and now I’m here, struggling to make ends meet, all because the focus of the last year has been to try and make my own business work. I put myself out there, letting people know that I’m available as a Parent/Life Coach but it seems like there are others, besides me, who are not able or willing to ask for help when they need it.

There was a time in my life when things were quite bad, when I struggled just to get out of bed in the morning because I was so numb and truly unable to feel anything. People asked if I was anorexic for a while because I lost so much weight due to stress. I had no appetite and I became robotic, going, going, going, without any emotion and unable to stop or slow down to truly enjoy life.

I look back at that time and those experiences that led up to that point and know that I have much to offer and share with others going through similar situations.

In other words, I’m not going anywhere. I may have to start a 9-5 job that might have nothing to do with helping others, but I’m still going to provide my services to those who request it. I’m still going to share my thoughts and ramblings here on this page, I’m still going to send my newsletter with those who are willing to read it and I’m still going to provide you with things to laugh at (me) when you follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

All I’m asking for, in return, is for you to continue to send encouraging words, to help keep me focused on why I’m here, why we’re all here -  to make this world a better place. I believe that with your help, I can begin to do that, one family at a time.

If you know of anyone who is in need of support, please pass along my information. I would love to help.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Two years young

Only because I recently had to renew my business license did I realize that two years have gone by since I first began blogging. I’ve made some honest-to-goodness real-life friends through this experience. I’m honored to be a part of this amazing community.

I’m excited to announce some awesome giveaways starting next week from a few companies that have been supporting Happy Healthy Hip Parenting, such as Mabel’s Labels and Bundle Up Joy.

Be sure to bookmark this site, subscribe or follow along so you don’t miss out!

Time flies when you’re having fun!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Grandparenting

My mom, aka Grandma Sylvie, inspires me and has encouraged my writing ever since I was a little girl. She was the one who told me about the Examiner and told me to apply. I got accepted within a week and have been having a great time writing for them – and making money!

I asked her to put some guest posts together for me so that I can have a grandparent’s voice and wisdom of her years of parenting experience to share and include here. She’s awesome and continues to inspire me with everything she says and does. Here’s her latest:

I worked the gift shop (volunteer work) yesterday and saw a good idea for me to start journaling again. I haven’t journaled for about 10 years or longer.

There was a book there called “Simplicity Journal.” On each page were the words: Happy, Funny, Heart, Good, Challenge, Learned, and Other Thoughts with enough space next to each word to write one word to a short paragraph.

My words for today are:

Happy- I am happy that Hip_M0M called me while on her road trip. It was good to talk to her and hear her voice.

Healthy- I took a walk and walked farther than planned. I saw an old man getting his mail and he told me to keep walking. He wished he could walk but can’t. It is amazing how a few words of encouragement can make this 58-year-old body move.

Hip- I play my favorite music. Right now I am listening to the soundtrack of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Grandparenting- I look at the grandsons’ photos and pray that they are happy and safe.

Take care and keep smiling.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Father Knows Best

Father’s Day is right around the corner. We always buy books for each other in our family, and I especially enjoyed David Lyon’s book, Father Knows Best, filled with hundreds of quotes from celebrity dads, sports figures and every day heroes known as Papa, Dad of Old Man.

The Happy Healthy Hip Parenting bookstore is full of reading recommendations for parenthood, from humorous collections to memoirs and those for grandparents, single parents and more. New books are added on a regular basis so be sure to stop back often.

If there’s a book or category you’d like to see added, please feel free to leave a comment here or contact us directly.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Second Annual Parenting Party

The second annual Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Party is taking place on Thursday, May 21st at The Airport Lounge! Save the date, book your babysitter and get ready for an amazing time. If you weren’t at last year’s party, read about it here and check out the photos!

Join parents and parent educators for the 2nd Annual Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Happy Hour! Sponsors will once again provide amazing prizes that will be given away throughout the night!

Parents will be able to unwind and meet other like-minded individuals while being pampered by local parent educators who will ensure that everyone feels supported as they go home and continue their greatest role ever, as Mom or Dad!

Come out and enjoy the special Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Happy Hour drink menu and half-price appetizers, not to mention some pretty amazing music!

Tickets are ON SALE now!

If you would like information about sponsorship and advertising opportunities, please contact me for details.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Makes Sarah a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

Sarah is a single mom who I recently connected with on Facebook. We’re both members of the Single Parents Connection group which is a great place to find support and like-minded individuals who truly know and understand the challenges of raising a family solo.

Sarah is the mother of a young girl named ZZ (no periods, not short for anything). She recently turned 3 and she and Sarah play by their own rules. Here’s what Sarah had to say about her experience as a mom and finding the balance between work & family.

I am the Evaluation and Contract Manager for First 5 Napa County. I was lucky to find this position that only requires 20 hours a week. Because First 5 was created on the premise that the first 5 years of life are the most valuable developmentally, they are more than accommodating of my schedule and needs as a single mom of a 3 year old. I brought my daughter to the job interview! Since then she has accompanied me to conferences, meetings, and site visits!

What makes you happy, as a parent?

The birthday cakes I receive each morning, carefully created and handcrafted by my 3 year old. I receive the cake, candy and the Happy Birthday song every morning in bed (the cake is usually stars she pulled from a skirt, erasers, and beads)!

When my daughter will stop whatever she’s doing and exclaim, “Mama, Mama- can I tell you something?” I then say, “Yes.” She promptly tells me, “I love you.” My heart melts.

Walking around with stickers on my cheeks and a tiara on my head!

What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your daughter?

She and I play by our own rules. When my husband of 10 ½ years left, ZZ was only 8 months old and my world fell apart. Two and half years later I am grateful he gave me the opportunity to be a single mom. It has freed me up to live how I want to live! And that means ZZ and I play by our own rules!

When ZZ wakes up in the middle of the night she is ALWAYS welcome in my bed! We dance, hula hoop in our kitchen, jump on the bed, have Gak fights in the house with the neighbor boys, collect nature “treasures” (leaves, etc.) and bring them inside, leave the house in princess dresses, tiaras and sparkles on our cheeks!
Who cares what others think? We don’t! Oh yeah, and our 70 pound Siberian Husky, Marble, spends each morning in bed with us!

Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about ZZ?

ZZ has been asking me about my own mother quite a lot lately. She died about 10 years ago from cancer. I’ve been struggling with how to explain death to her keeping my own Buddhist beliefs present in the explanation.

Recently I was telling her that bodies eventually stop working and that people die, like my mother, that their spirits carry on but that we can’t be with them in the same way at this time. Her response was so sweet. She told me, “We better get your mommy a new body. Mama, you will hold your mommy’s head and I will fix a new body for her. Then we can know your mommy.”

What is your proudest parenting moment?

We were going to a birthday party recently where Cinderella was going to make an appearance. ZZ is obsessed with princesses right now. A friend asked ZZ who was going to be at the party. Her reply, “My mommy.”

What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Accepting that I won’t always “get things done.” I used to be someone who accomplished things, but now I sometimes spend hours just trying to get out of the house! Being a single parent – I struggle if I get sick or am just plain tired. I don’t have the same back-up which at times can be brutal.

What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

Kelly’s No Bad Days Café, Napa, CA

What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your daughter?

By far it’s going to the beach. My father, sister and I all surf. The beach is a very important place for us as a family. A family that surfs together, stays together!

What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Remove all expectations of yourself and your child.

Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I go to other single parents. I believe we have different needs and expectations of ourselves. It’s tough and we need to keep it realistic.

How would ZZ describe you?

She’d say mom participates, engages, plays, is honest and loves to kiss and snuggle!

Sarah and ZZ inspire me. Knowing that there’s two child-like individuals out there dancing and leaving the house in princess attire is what makes this world such a special place. I think it could be said of most single parents but we tend to expect our children to have a bit more responsibility at an early age, which is why it’s that much more important to us to allow our children (and ourselves) that time to just be children – silly, brave, proud, brilliant and curious.

I’m pleased to have met so many wonderful individuals – even if it has just been on line – and I encourage you to go out and explore your neighborhood and community for parents that you might not otherwise meet. Regardless of whether or not your children will get along, or are the same age, parents need other parents and you’d be surprised at just how much you will grow from having another experienced mom or dad to share a drink with or go to for advice.

And if you’re not very outgoing, don’t have time to socialize or simply can’t imagine letting someone else into your life, meeting people online is another way to vent, express your opinions or learn from others. Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their lives and experiences here with the series of parent profiles. I’ll be sharing my answers to these same questions shortly.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Makes Marla a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

Marla and I met through the Single Parents Connection on Facebook.

Marla has one daughter who is nine years old. Apparently, she has the energy of a few children but that just means she’s a truly amazing young woman.

I asked Marla to answer some questions about her daughter and her role as a mom. Here’s what she had to say which confirmed the fact that she, too, is a happy, healthy, hip parent.

What makes you happy, as a parent?

This is a difficult question. I love traveling, which is something I have not done much of without my daughter. Exploring new places always leaves me feeling content. That said, I currently enjoy quiet time – time to read, work on projects, or even nap. I enjoy spending time writing or talking with friends about something other than parenting (okay, parenting sometimes too!). Although I help out with my daughter’s ballet school, I have found that I do it for me as well as to support her. I enjoy working with the costumes, being around the other parents, and organizing the community outreach that we do.

What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your daughter?

My daughter and I enjoy a healthy relationship in many ways. We spend time together without distraction which allows us the ability to connect in silence or via communication. We travel together, exercise together, walk to and from school together… neither of us is defined by the other but we are partners in our desire to explore life and learn all that we can.

Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about your child?

This has to be one of the funniest stories though it is not one that I enjoyed too much at the time! A family friend arrived at my house one December to take my then three-year-old daughter and myself to the airport for our holiday trip. As I was upstairs gathering the last of our things, my daughter informs this man that “Mamma has big breasts!” He handled it so very well while I blushed brightly. Sure, it is the truth, but..

What was your proudest parenting moment?

I am proud of my daughter each time she takes her position in ballet or each time she steps on stage. She is doing what she loves and investing so much into it. I am proud of her as she jumps for joy when she sees that doing her best in something really makes a difference… and she shares this with friends. I am overwhelmed when she recognizes that her life is different and loves it for that difference over trying to be like everyone else; when she recognizes and appreciates what the difference gives to her. When she takes responsibility for her actions, lives passionately, is kind to others, and accepts that people are different and how wonderful that is.

What is your biggest parenting challenge?

My most significant challenge is two fold. For me it is that I don’t see well. When other parents can read to their kids or label objects, I can not. I am watching my daughter grow up, but it is not in the same vivid detail that other parents enjoy. It is a challenge at the worst of times and a gift at other times as I have learned to see her with my heart.

The other challenge comes with being a single parent. It is ensuring the line between child and parent exists. That line can become blurred as the relationship we enjoy sometimes seems more like a friendship. I think it is difficult for my daughter as I am everything from friend to parent to disciplinarian to nurturer.

What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

There are places I will not take my daughter but most places… if I go, she goes. We try to go early to avoid the crowds. I don’t go to exclusive establishments often, so the idea has been to teach my child to eat in differing environments. It is much easier now that she is older! (Italian places have always been more friendly than most.)

What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your child?

We spend lots of time outside exploring or exercising. Traveling and exploring are things we enjoy doing together. We also enjoy history and the arts – visiting the Kennedy Center as often as possible!

What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

From the moment they cut the cord, your child is learning to fly. Cherish every moment; the challenges and the joys. Take the time to share your child’s life and remember that it is a life that is vastly different than your own. It is a wonderful feeling to watch a child develop into their own person, discover their passions and loves, and spread their wings!!

Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I usually don’t. I will talk to this and that friend or her father for input or as a sounding board, but I don’t really seek advice as much as I seek someone to listen.

How would your daughter describe you?

My daughter describes me as a “good mom,” the “best mom,” and even her friend. I give “the best cuddles” and she knows that “You support my dreams. That is one of your dreams.”

She said that I am tall and have brown hair – which is a physical description.

A few weeks ago I asked her to describe the ad she would write were she seeking a new mom (long story behind that question). She said that she wanted someone to love her and care for her. Someone who would have fun with her and keep her safe… and feed her spaghetti and take her to ballet. She wanted someone just like me.

And maybe that is how she would describe me. I do know that she doesn’t want me to change one little bit (though she tells me that I am not as funny as I think I am… but what parent is?)

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Makes Jeff a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Jeff Tincher through Twitter, when I commented – sarcastically – to one of his tweets.

Jeff writes over at Daddy’s Toolbox when he’s not working (at home, or at the office). During the day, he is a developor and consultant for Springhouse, a computer training and consulting company, located in Exton, Pennsylvania.

Jeff has two great children. His son Logan is 4 and daughter, Kaleigh, is 2.

I asked Jeff several questions about his role as a parent and he shared several stories about his relationship with his children.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent?

I like watching my son get excited when I tell him he has done a good job or like the other day when I told him that I took his drawings and the paper that he wrote the alphabet on to my work. I told him I had my friends (coworkers) use it to help them spell! He was so excited. As for my daughter, she and I have the Father/Daughter bond going. We rub noses at night – that is our thing!

2) What is your proudest parenting moment?

I’ve had a few proud parenting moments so far in my children’s 4 and 2 years of life. There are things that I can’t believe our son knows how to do, so that makes me very proud. Like the other day he was writing all of this alphabet, his name and some other things. He’s really good with that! He then was drawing pumpkins. I watched him draw a perfect pumpkin, down to the 2 triangle eyes, nose and mouth! I was shocked.

3) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Dealing with whining. I immediately go insane at the first whine.

4) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

We like Red Robin in Exton, PA. Oh EXCEPT when the “BIRD” is there. It scares my kids!

5) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Sometimes you just have to “give in” or else it’s a battle with your kids. Like right now, I’m listening to my wife put our four-year-old to bed. He is fussing and screaming that it is NOT a school night. Well, it’s Monday night so, “Yes it is!” I would have caved in by now and given in. My wife is more stubborn and is up there trying to make him understand.

6) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I mainly ask our other friends with kids. I’ve set up a group on Facebook for the parents of kids that go to our daycare. It’s starting to help. We are building a support network.

I think it’s a fabulous idea to start an online support group of parents that you know. Playdates and playgroups were first created for this same reason, but it’s great to have a place to go 24 hours a day to ask questions and chat with other adults after the kids are asleep – or during nap time.

What makes you a happy, healthy, hip parent?

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Makes Amy a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Amy through our connection on both Twitter and Facebook. She joined the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting group and introduced me to two great sites that she is a part of. She is a blogger at ParentSphere and works behind the scenes for Great Au Pair.

Amy is mom to three-year-old Hailey. She was kind enough to take some time to answer some questions about her experience as a parent and offers some great advice for expecting parents.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent?

Oh my, so many things! I look at the world so differently now. I notice my surroundings more because I see them through my daughter’s eyes. I mostly love having someone to teach. It’s a fantastic feeling knowing that she’s learning something new each day and I play a big part of that.

2) What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your child?

We are very open with each other. Granted, she’s only three, but we communicate with each other very well. I hope we can keep the lines of communication open for a long, long time.

3) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about your daughter?

I probably Tweet something new and cute she says everyday! One of the funniest things I always tell people is when she was just under two years old and she needed a diaper change. I told her it was time for the diaper change and she patted her butt, looked up at me and matter-of-factly said, “Nope, stays in my diapee.” That was the first time she really started showing attitude.

4) What is your proudest parenting moment?

Tough question. I have many “proud” parenting moments, hard to pick out just one. I feel very proud when we’re out and she uses her manners. I always feel good about that. She’s very polite and that is important to me.

5) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Picking my battles and being consistent. I want to maintain openness with her throughout the years, especially when she’s school-aged. My goal is to have her always feel comfortable confiding in me, no matter what.

6) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

Oh, we LOVE dining out. I suppose my absolute favorite is Red Robin in Plainfield, IL. We go there a lot. My daughter gets her balloons, the food is good and we always have a fun time.

7) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with Hailey?

Just being out and about. I love taking her to the zoo, museums and to the park.

8) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Be prepared to be totally unprepared! Each day, each stage is something different. Embrace it. I never believed it would go as fast as it has but here I am, with a three-year-old already and I was once wishing the baby stages away! Soak it all in, ladies.

9) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I generally consult friends in online communities like Twitter and The Motherhood. Chatting with friends over the phone and running this or that by them. My mom. Of course I still go to her too.

10) How would your daughter describe you?

She’s still unbiased. Though, I’m pretty sure if you asked her, she would tell you that I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Makes Carla a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Carla through our Single Parents Connection on Facebook. She’s a single mother of three. Her oldest, Bud, is 13. Kaitybug is 11 and Miss E is 6.

Like many single parents, Carla works numerous jobs. She is a substitute teacher, an on-air talent for Froggy 106.7 and a Recovery Coordinator for her church.

Carla took some time out of her hectic schedule to talk about what makes her a happy, healthy, hip parent.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent (besides when your kids finally fall asleep)?

As a single mom I’m not ashamed to admit it’s having a night off!

2) What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your children?

I let them feel what they feel. I was taught “cry today, get up tomorrow,” but I want my kids to know that it’s ok to have a bad day. I want them to live life instead of plowing through it.

3) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about each of your children?

Miss E. is the comedian of the family but her most recent funny moment was this Halloween. She was a bee… “so I can sting the boys.”

When Bud was in sixth grade we started talking about his future and how to achieve his goals. He wanted to get online and look at colleges so I showed him how; five minutes went by and I heard “Mom I’ve found the college for me!” I asked how he knew it was the one to which he replied, “Because it has two floors in the cafeteria!” I was quickly reminded that he’s still very much a kid.

Kaitybug likes to tell on me. I got pulled over by a police officer for speeding and while he was standing at the window asking for my information she piped up and said “Hey Mom, does he know you ran that red light too?”

4) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Crawling into bed at night and not having someone there to fall into.

5) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant (name and city, please).

Casa Mare in Fort Wayne, IN.

6) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your children?

It’s different with each of them…I love when I put Miss E. to bed and we say our prayers. She is truly selfless in those moments. With Kaitybug she and I are growing closer and I’m watching her become a young lady. I love to listen to her talk about her friends while she helps me cook. And my son…my favorite thing to do with him is take him out to eat alone. I get his full attention and he gets mine. It means a lot to him, which in turn means a lot to me.

7) How would your children describe you?

A few weeks ago we had a meeting at church which my son and I were apart of. We each had assigned seats so he sat at the back of the room and I was at the front. At the beginning of the meeting, we were asked if anyone wanted to share good things going on or blessings in their life. A few people stood up and shared and then my son stood up. He said with a trembling lip, “I am so thankful my mom is my mom. She taught us about God and that changed our life. My mom is my hero.”

My children and I have been through so much in their short time on this Earth and that night he gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, they see my heart above my past. They hear my love above my words. The feel God above the moment.

8) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I have an inner circle of friends that know my heart and know my past. They aren’t afraid to tell me the truth and I have the utmost respect for each of them so I turn to them often. But before any of that, I pray. I simply pray.

9) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Your job is to be their parent not their friend.

10) What is your proudest parenting moment?

When someone tells me how much they enjoy being around my kids, not because of my parenting but because of the people they are…I think my kids are awesome and love to hear when others see them that way too!

Carla is an inspiration to all parents and I truly believe that her kids are the wonderful people they are because of her. Children learn by example, and through hard work, discipline and balancing work and family successfully, Carla’s three children are just as successful; just as happy, healthy and hip.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home