Saying Goodbye

My grandmother passed away early this morning. She is survived by seven children, thirteen grandkids and another thirteen great-grandchildren (with two more on the way).

Just last year, she and my Grandpa celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary, a family legacy that I am proud to share.

She was surrounded by love and had many visitors throughout each day over the past several months and I’m so grateful that I was able to see her and hug her a month ago.

On my quick visit with her, I complimented her on her fingernails, which were long and beautifully painted a bold red. The color suited her perfectly. She was sitting quietly when we arrived, wrapped in a colorful shawl that was handmade especially for her. She seemed at peace then and it warmed me to be in her presence even though I knew she was on the final lap of her journey here with us.

She is truly at peace now and although she will be missed, she will not be forgotten.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Life and Death and Writing it All Down

If you’re related to me, you may want to stop reading…or perhaps you should just start back at the beginning…For those of you who are a part of my online family, please (lie to me and) tell me you can relate.

Too Much Information (TMI)
I share everything here on this blog, more than I probably should. From the time I had to go to Urgent Care after a night of sex to the frustrations around my co-parenting challenges, my personal stories, along with all the emotions they stir, can be found here. I have nothing to hide. Why then, do the important people in my life feel as though they cannot, for whatever reason, share important information with me?

Home is Where Your Mom Is
I called home today and found out that my grandma (my father’s mom) was just released after being in the hospital for a full week. And it wasn’t until today that I found out? OK, so I know I should call home more often. I shouldn’t be such a stranger to my own family. This is what I get for moving 2,000 miles away, right?

Life is Short
At first I was worried about my Grandma and sad for my Grandpa who is having to make plans to move her into a facility where she can have around the clock care. They have been married for 60 years and still live in the house that my dad and his siblings grew up in. I know that we all grow old and death is inevitable, but it still makes me sad…

And Now I’m in the Anger Stage of Grief
Shortly after I got off the phone with my mom, I realized how pissed off I was. Why didn’t she tell me earlier? Why didn’t my sister call, email, text or Facebook? I chatted with them both online this last week and yet somehow they forgot to mention that my grandma was in the hospital?

Deja Vu
My grandma (my mother’s mom) passed away last year, just before Christmas, and I still have not forgiven myself for not making it to the funeral. It upsets me to no end that I wasn’t there for my mom and the rest of our family. Did that prove to her that I am not able, or willing to deal with this kind of thing?

I Think I Get It
My boyfriend was here last weekend, so my family, I’m assuming, didn’t want to worry me or bring me down while he was here. I sort of get that, and yet, it still hurts.

Poor Me
Being far away from my loved ones is difficult enough, but feeling left out and not informed feels like a betrayal of some sorts. I know, I should call home more often and share, firsthand, what’s been going on in my life, too.

Community
I know intimate details about my online community, friends I’ve made online, and yet the people in my own family often seem like strangers to me. I have no idea what’s going on in their lives and they have no idea what’s going on in mine. Many times they’ll ask me what’s been going on and I find myself wanting to point to this page, to print out the highlights and let them know that my door (or URL) is always open.

The Truth Shall Set Me Free
After reading this and rewriting it and deleting it and starting all over again, I realize that it’s so much easier for me to share how I’m feeling when I can write it down, type it in an email, or onto this page. It’s out there – the whole world can read all of the things I’m not able to say out loud.

The Bottom Line
Being a writer brings so much freedom, provides me with a sense of relief and comfort and yet, at the end of the day, it’s a lonely occupation, just me and my blank sheet of paper, or empty screen waiting to be filled. There’s so much more I want to say and yet there are just as many thoughts that cannot be put into words.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Swing Set Safety

I don’t have a swing set. Hell, I don’t even have a yard to put one in, but when I read this email that was forwarded to me from a friend, I couldn’t help but get angry. I

love going to the playground with my son. I enjoy watching him climb to new heights and explore his own strengths as he travels from side to side across the monkey bars. And even though this report is both sad and disturbing, I feel the need to share the information with other parents, because being aware is the first step in keeping our children safe.

“I lost my son three and a half years ago to a senseless backyard swing set accident. Wesley was playing on a swing set that should have been pulled from the market in the mid 1970′s when the first injury was reported. Instead, swing set manufacturers (knowing the design was a risk to children) continued to market and perpetuate this design in to backyards all over the country. As a result, scores of children have had horrific injuries–and my son is dead.

I have fought my guts out–along with Wesley’s mother and sister and our families–to get this design banned from the U.S. market. And we have prevailed. Never again will the design be made.

The fight was horrible. Swing set manufacturers (including the manufacturer who provided the Obama children with their new White House lawn swing set) fought us with personal attacks and campaigns that were tremendously painful–all for money.

We won. But it cost us much.

But there’s another phase in the fight. A crucial phase. And I need you to join with me in helping me.

While we were successful in the ban–the truth remains that TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THE SAME TYPE OF SWING SETS that killed our Wesley still remain in backyards all over the country.

That means that children are still at risk. And the CONSUMER PRODUCTS SAFETY COMMISSION refuses to issue a nation-wide warning so that parents who have this design in their back yards can make the necessary modifications to protect their children.

THE CPSC IS DROPPING THE BALL and WE MUST DEMAND THEY DO THEIR JOB AND ISSUE AN ALERT. Even when I first called the CPSC days after Wesley’s accident, I got a shove-off and a huge reluctance to even look in to this case. I simply will NOT take no for an answer. No grieving parent would or should.

Start here:
http://www.wsvn.com/features/articles/investigations/MI127331

Watch the latest tv report about this and GO VIRAL WITH IT. PLEASE–IN THE NAME OF MY BEAUTIFUL SON WESLEY–FORWARD THIS E MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. PLEASE. GO VIRAL in e mails and on your Facebook pages. TWITTER the WSVN LINK. IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE TO HELP. ASK EVERYONE TO CONTACT THE CPSC AND ASK THEM TO ISSUE A NATIONWIDE ALERT TO PARENTS.

WHEN YOU CONTACT THE CPSC– GO TO: INFO@CPSC.GOV

FLOOD THEM. THEY ARE FAILING IN THIS INSTANCE. REMIND THEM THAT IN THEIR VERY OWN BI-LAWS–THEIR VERY EXISTENCE AND PURPOSE IS TO WARN THE PUBLIC. My son has been gone three and a half years. It’s HIGH TIME the warning happen.

If they do not do this soon—I will hold a national press conference to say that the CPSC is dropping the ball here. Their credibility is on the line. Remind them to reclaim it.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

There are no words…

…to describe how broken my heart is right now. I’m in tears, praying for a family whom I have never met in real life. I heard the news through Twitter and realized how quickly, and helpful, this service can be when there is news that needs to be spread.

A beautiful toddler lost her life today and her family (and loved ones near and far) are mourning the death of someone too young and too precious to say goodbye to so soon.

Madeline Alice Spohr
November 11, 2007 – April 7, 2009

Words just cannot explain how devastating it was to find out that L.A. based mom and dad Heather and Mike, lost their daughter Madeline today. Although Heather wrote about her daughter needing to go to the hospital just yesterday, there’s nothing that could’ve ever prepare her (or any parent) for the death of their child.

If you are able to be Los Angeles on Saturday, April 25th, please join the walk for the March of Dimes or donate in Madeline’s name if you cannot be there and please spread the word through your blog, website or on your Facebook, Twitter or other networking pages.

R.I.P. dear Madeline

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Losing a Child

The recent death of John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s son has left many parents stepping back and taking time to slow down and enjoy each and every minute we have with our child. Life is too precious to not hold on to the memories we create and to appreciate the time we have on this planet.

The death of a child is not something that parents want to think about, but where does one turn if this sudden loss should occur?

Compassionate Friends is a worldwide organization established to help support those who have lost a child. Founded in 1972, this non-profit group provides community forums, resources and events to bring together families looking for ways to honor their child and keep the memories alive.

Those who have lost a child to SIDS, stillbirth or experienced miscarriage can also find comfort and compassion through the members of this group.

Knowing that you’re not alone is one of the biggest strengths during the time of tragedy. Visit the website for details on local chapters, the annual Walk to Remember and the International Gathering.

Stop by their Ways to Give page to learn about how you can donate to Compassionate Friends.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Great Grandmas

It’s hard to be away from my family during the holiday season but this year, with my grandmother passing, it’s especially difficult for me to be thousands of miles away, unable to grieve with my loved ones or be there for her funeral.

I will be honoring her in my own way tomorrow, remembering the special woman who lived to be ninety after raising seven children on her own. She never once complained so I will think of her when I go through a challenging moment with my one and only child, and try especially hard to stay positive, like my grandma always did.

My grandmother truly was a unique individual and I will miss her dearly. My son was only nine months old when he met her for the first time. Here he is with my mom and my grandmother, back in 2004.

Three generations and three people who mean the world to me.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Healing Stories

Have you ever wished that you could find just the right book for a child? Maybe a child in your life is anticipating a big change, such as having a new brother or sister, starting school for the first time, or moving to a new house. Maybe something difficult and painful has happened, such as a divorce, a serious illness, or a death. Or maybe you just know a child who is fearful at bedtime, or worries about growing up, or has a bad day occasionally. You know how important it is to read to children, and it has occurred to you that sharing a story could help the child in your life manage the situation that she or he is going through. But how will you find the right book?

Healing Stories: Picture Books for the Big and Small Changes in a Child’s Life puts at your fingertips a list of more than 500 picture books that was prepared just for this purpose. Stories and other children’s books have been carefully selected by a psychologist who works extensively with children. Each chapter includes an annotated list of picture books relevant to a specific concern that children may have, empowering you to select the books that best match the child and the situation you’re concerned about. This book also includes a helpful introduction that discusses ways to use books with children who are experiencing life changes or stress.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

I was shocked by the news today of Heath Ledger’s passing. He was a great actor (and father) who I could envision working in the industry for his lifetime. Sadly, his life was cut short at the age of 28, leaving behind a two-year old daughter (Matilda Rose Ledger).

Heath has a long-list of film credits to his name. My personal favorites:

1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. The Patriot
3. A Knight’s Tale
4. Monster’s Ball
5. Lords of Dogtown
6. Casanova

His forthcoming picture, The Dark Knight, in which he plays the Joker, will be released later this year.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home