Gender Roles

I left the house this morning, in my car, and ended up on the side of the road not long after I reached the highway. I didn’t let my car warm up (advice my dad gave me when I first started driving) and was reminded, once again, why it’s so important to slow down and, of course, to take better care of my vehicle that has over 100,000 miles on it and has been with me for so long.

When I first learned to drive, at age 15, my dad insisted that I also learn now to change a flat tire, how to check the oil level in the car and that I felt comfortable with every single instrument on the control panel, not to mention knowing the proper way to parallel park and how to park on a hill, how to drive in the snow and on ice and when it’s raining out.

I rolled my eyes through these “lessons” thinking that I was the only one of my friends that had to go through this just to have access to the family vehicle, but I have to tell you, I am grateful that my dad taught me these things, even though I have a cell phone now and road side assistance should anything seriously go wrong.

My ex-husband is into cars too. He buys old cars and fixes them up so I have no doubt in my mind that our son will grow up to know a lot more about taking care of cars than I do. He’ll be much better prepared since he’s already helping his dad in the garage and getting to know cars from the inside out.

My son also knows his way around the kitchen, thanks to my husband, the cook in our family. Already, my son has seen him spend more hours preparing meals than he’s seen me prepare in the 7 years he’s been alive. I’m famous for boxed meals, microwaveable snacks and my ability to heat up anything that comes in a can! My son’s well-fed, that’s for sure, but his palette is becoming more sophisticated now that my husband has introduced us both to some really great meals.

Just a few days ago, I was giving my son a hard time about when it would be his turn to prepare dinner. I was kidding, of course, but he stepped up to the challenge and insisted upon creating something for us to sample. I was too exhausted to argue with him so I became his assistant and he began his cooking experiment.

I watched as he pulled out a step stool, grabbed a mixing bowl, an egg and measuring cups to whip together a drink that actually tasted pretty damn good. As he put together all of the ingredients, I somehow kept my mouth shut. At the time, I was asking myself why I was allowing him to be wasteful since his concoction couldn’t possibly be edible. He certainly surprised me because not only was it edible, but it was really good!

My gut instinct was to let him experiment and I was so glad that I listened to that inner voice telling me that however his recipe turned out, it would be OK. I encouraged him to explore what he knew and what he had obviously picked up from watching me bake or my husband cook.

He knew what he was doing and I could see his confidence boost as he noticed my expression change when I was finally able to try his homemade drink. He had made a fruit/vegetable smoothie that was delicious. I made him write down the recipe because it was really good and I’m eager for him to make it for us again.

I had planned on sharing his recipe here, but I think I’ll leave that up to him. I’m not sure how much he’ll charge, but I know he has entrepeneur in him as well so if you want a copy, it’ll cost you.

He’s going to make a great husband someday.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

I Feel Pretty

Last night, I got dressed up and went out downtown, and on a harbor cruise, with some friends who I haven’t seen in a few weeks. I felt good about myself as I was getting dressed to go, and I realized that I was feeling something that isn’t a permanent condition. I felt pretty. I had gotten a pedicure and manicure on Friday, I was wearing a beautiful dress, sexy shoes and my hair and make-up were just right. I felt confident, sexy and excited to go out.

This may seem strange to many of you, that I’m actually writing an entire post about this, but I feel the need to draw attention to the fact that it hasn’t always been this way. There was a time in my life when I felt anything but beautiful, hiding my body and not even wanting to look in the mirror because my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent.

There are many things that happened in my lifetime that kept me from feeling the way I do now and I won’t get into that here, but for many young women, feeling beautiful is not something we experience. I saw a video from Dove earlier this week and a photo from Glamour which caused a lot of stir which got me thinking about body image and what I have personally overcome to get to the point where I am now.

Some may think I’m being arrogant or selfish or perhaps I’m vanity-driven now because I can confidently say that I feel good about myself and how I look. But the truth of the matter is, it’s not about looks. It’s about that feeling that I have inside me. The confidence, the way that I’m able to look others in the eye and can speak proudly and with great ease, speak my opinion and share my thoughts and ideas without worrying what others may think of me.

Sure, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we may not all be attracted to the same piece of art or have the same definition of what is attractive, but we all recognize beautiful people when we see them, those that we want to be around, that are fun to spend time with and that are compassionate and genuine and honest, both with their words and the actions that they take.

I feel pretty today and I don’t feel silly saying it because I know where I’ve been, I see that young girl who I used to be and I recognize that despite my imperfections, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty is trying to make a difference in the lives of young girls by creating workshops on self-esteem. You can learn more over at their website.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Words of Wisdom

Things have changed since I was in high school and certainly since my parents were teenagers. Young people today are constantly “connected” and social networking has changed the way people meet, date and get to know one another.

One thing that I noticed is that my perception, of myself and the world, has changed quite drastically since I was young.

My life experiences have made me more confident, more comfortable and because of this, more attractive. I’m not afraid to look someone in the eye and say this and I hope that all young women will embrace this knowledge for themselves:

A woman should not expect to feel special because a man treats her well. She should expect a man to treat her well because she is special.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home