Marriage Milestones

My husband flies in today for a whirlwind weekend. We’ll be discussing baby names, visiting the doctor for an ultrasound & check-up and shopping for awesome baby gear when we finally register for items we’ll need when the baby arrives. Oh, and we’ll also spending quality family time with my son. And tonight, just the two of us, we’ll be celebrating our one month wedding anniversary.

As obnoxious as it may sound, I think celebrating our anniversary monthly is a great way to ensure that our relationship remains strong and stable. After all, we celebrate our baby’s milestones by the month and pregnancy by the week. We honor half-birthdays and even when dating, couples often acknowledge their six month anniversary as they journey toward a long-term commitment.

If you’re not setting aside a special Date Night with your partner at least once a month, I highly recommend that you get out your calendars now and start scheduling them. It might not sound romantic to make an appointment with your significant other, but you know as well as I do that when that day or night comes, it’ll make all the difference in the world. My husband and I have the luxury of planning our next weekends together. The time apart is torture but having that date on the calendar to look forward to is quite exciting!

Marriage, these days, is like a marathon. We train in many ways and we have a goal in mind before we even make that commitment although some of us won’t, don’t, or shouldn’t make it across that finish line.

Which is why each mile we pass should be celebrated and with every month that my husband and I can set aside time for each other – just the two of us – there will be yet another reminder that we each have a supportive coach on the sidelines, running  or walking right with us and cheering us on the entire way.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Billie & The Parent Plan

I love reading books – every once in a while – to my son that are a little beyond his age range. Some people would say that it’s not healthy to do so, but I find that talking about things that he doesn’t know about or using words or ideas that are unfamiliar to him only provides us with starting points for some great discussions.

Billie and The Parent Plan is about a young girl who is upset with her mom for getting remarried. It turns out that her step-dad is old enough to be her grandfather and her 18-year-old step-sister is just another “adult” that Billie is not thrilled to all of a sudden be living with.

 

Her father was never around growing up and he wasn’t discussed much in the book, but the entire premise of the book was about her having to get used to her new family and accepting these people into her home, which is something that many kids must deal with when (or if) their parents get remarried.

My son was not thrilled with this idea either. The thought of my getting married (someday) never crossed his mind and he was adamant about the fact that he was not OK with it. I wasn’t going to argue with him or tell him that I was never going to get married but I have a feeling that talking about it now (as opposed to when – or if – that person comes along) will prepare him for it, if that day should ever come.

The book, by Ann Bryant, is a wonderful discussion-starter on bullying, peer pressure, and dealing with a new step-family. You can guarantee that if I ever do get remarried, my son will be so in love with the guy he’ll either be our Best Man or he’ll walk me down the aisle himself.

Check out more great books from Usborne and Kane Miller.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Parents Without Partners

Once again, my mom provided me with a great resource for single parents.

Parents Without Partners was founded in 1957 by two single parents.

Parents Without Partners provides single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques. For the minor children of single parents, it offers them the opportunity to meet peers living within the same family structure and thriving.

Parents Without Partners, Inc. is now the largest international, nonprofit membership organization devoted to the welfare and interests of single parents and their children. Single parents may join one of the many chapter around the US and Canada; they may be male or female, custodial or non-custodial, separated, divorced, widowed or never married. Search for a chapter in your area.

They also introduced me to many online resources for single parents:

• About.com’s Single Parents Guide
• ADD/ADHD Help: US
• ADD/ADHD Help: Canada
• Amazing Love Doctors
• ConnectForKids.org
• DictionaryForDads.org
• DivorceInfo.com
• DivorceMagazine.com
• DivorceSupport.com
• Gingerbread, Single Parent Support Agency in England and Wales.
• Kids Dads Moms
• Millennium Divorce
• NCSingleParent.com
• Ottawa Divorce.com
• Reading is Fundamental
• Safer Child, Inc.
• The Single Father’s Lighthouse
• Single Parent Travel
• Single Parents’ World
• Single Rose – Resource for Single Mothers
• Solo Woman Magazine
• Stepducks

Check out the articles for single parents as well, with subjects like relationships, emotions, travel, dealing with divorce, and blended families.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Bonus Families

My son keeps asking me when I’m going to have another baby. He wants a sibling and he’s not alone. I have baby cravings all the time, especially after spending time with my sister’s new baby – or looking at the pictures of him that are on my fridge or kitchen table. Basically, several times a day!

Bonus Families is a website and a wonderful term for the step-families of my generation. I’d like to inherit a bonus family someday, but I’m not in any hurry. I’m still enjoying the time I have with my son and getting to know myself as a single mom and individual who is trying to get some goals reached before inviting another adult (and child) into our world.

I spent some time getting to know someone recently whom I met through eHarmony. We decided, after learning more about each other, that we are not looking for the same things right now. He is looking for a serious, long-term relationship, whereas, I am searching for someone who I can finally be myself with. I think I’ve found him and even though there is quite some distance between us, and baggage from our past relationships, I have faith that with time, things will become less stressful and we can begin to share more of each other more often.

When my husband and I first separated and he moved out, there was a long span of time before our divorce was finalized. Nearly two entire years went by before the court declared us no longer married to one another. Clearly, our marriage was over long before my ex-husband ever filed for divorce.

Saying that I’m involved with a married man would not be accurate. Telling people that the man I’m dating is currently separated would be more precise. His marriage has ended and despite the fact that they tried to make things work for their children’s benefit, they have finally made peace with the fact that there is nothing left to hold onto.

In my adult life, I have met many people from different backgrounds with diverse pasts that they’ve overcome. Along the way, I have made both good and bad decisions, as we all have, but I have faith that the path before me will lead to happiness and true love.

Where will your path lead? You can think positively and hope for a happy ending, or you can make the choice to let the negative thoughts take over. I choose to believe that good things come to those who wait and I have been patient and cautious and continue to take one day at a time.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home