Size does matter

If I didn’t have kids, I would still drive a mini-van, in fact, I drove a mini-van in high school and for a brief period during college. True story. Of course, it was my parents’ vehicle in high school and I inherited it after moving away to school.

It was the party van when I was behind the wheel – only because it fit so many passengers that I quickly became the official designated driver for every occasion. Of course, that meant I had to spend the night wherever we were if alcohol was involved but that was fine with me. I could sleep in the back comfortably with the seats down. I’d use blankets and a sleeping bag to stay warm so it was perfect for me for so many reasons.

My snowboard fit perfectly in the back as well, so the seats usually remained folded down. I’d use the back to get dressed and undressed after a day on the hill.

For a small period after this mini-van stage, I did drive smaller cars. I drove a Plymouth Horizon, a 1967 VW Beetle and a 1999 Honda Civic. The Civic was what I was driving when my first son was born. It didn’t take too long to realize that it wasn’t the most convenient vehicle to get a car seat in and out of after having a c-section. I hit my head one too many times backing out of the back seat after getting him settled into his spot. It got old really fast, although I do wish I had the luxury of having my mid-life crisis car on hand as well.

The third generation Nissan Quest came out in early 2004 and with its unique design (at the time), it appealed to me in many ways. I purchased a brand new SL edition when my son was just 4 months old. It was the perfect upgrade for a new mom. The features were great, especially the automatic doors and the fact that I could sit in the back row seat to breastfeed, change his diaper and easily store the stroller along with groceries and large boxes of diapers without compromise.

When I moved (two times in the last two years), the seats folded down to reveal the massive space where I was able to fit dozens of boxes, furniture and pretty much every single one of my possessions. And now that I have a new baby, I’m revisiting the back row to breastfeed and change his diaper. And, once again, the Costco trips are much easier with the automatic back door that allows room for the big boxes of items we stock up on every month.

Recently, I had the opportunity to test drive the new 2011 Nissan Quest and although I didn’t have my kids with me at the time (I was pregnant with Baby #2) I fell in love with the new features that make this 4th generation mini-van even more appealing than my current vehicle (the 2004 Nissan Quest).

The back seats go down now with the touch of a button and the windows roll down in the second row where my kids would be. My oldest son would love this feature. He always complains that his window doesn’t open. I know we’d all appreciate the dual opening glass moonroof. The Clean Air System is also an exciting feature since it filters out the cigarette smoke coming from the car in front of you (my biggest pet peeve while driving).

The body of this mini-van stands out again as it does not look like a mini-van nor does it look like a boxy SUV. Driving it was a dream. It felt like a luxury vehicle and (maybe because my kids weren’t in the back) it did not feel like I was driving a big car with room for 7 passengers.

My family is visiting soon and I’m eager to put the 2011 Nissan Quest to the ultimate test. I’m waiting to find out if we’ll be able to have an extended test drive in March so that each of the seats can be utilized and we can truly check out all of the features and get the full experience of having the car in our possession for more than a few hours.

If I didn’t have kids, I would still drive a mini-van and the 2011 Nissan Quest would be the one I would choose if I could.

Nissan provided me with a spa treatment and lunch on the day of my #NissanQuestDrive experience.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Savoring the moment

This week has been a bit emotional for me. My husband went back to work and I was a bit anxious about how I’d handle being home alone with the baby.

Even with a few sleepless nights, I somehow managed to get through the last few days without having a breakdown.

Having a second child seven years after the first has been an interesting experience. I can see how some parents would naturally compare their kids to one another since they’re each so unique, but since it’s been so long since my first son was an infant, I honestly don’t remember much about those early days.

What I do remember, quite clearly, is how difficult it was for me to adjust to being a first time mom, especially after I went back to work, full-time. The juggling of both career and motherhood was not an easy balance for me. I suffered from postpartum depression (not diagnosed early enough) and felt stressed and anxious fairly often.

Circumstances are much different with Baby #2. Motherhood is my full-time job now and so far, it’s been much less stressful, and much more fun, than the first time around.

I went for a walk with the baby a few days ago which turned into a mini-adventure for us. Just before reaching the 2-mile mark (our halfway point), he woke up screaming. I had fed him before our walk began so I knew he wasn’t hungry but he also wasn’t tired since he had been asleep for a little while.

Seven years ago, I would’ve stressed out about why my baby was crying and what I would do or where I would go since there was nowhere within sight to sit down. I most likely would’ve been in tears myself, questioning my every instinct.

Luckily, we were close to a little bakery on the boardwalk, so we stopped inside. I had never been there before and there was a comfortable couch and recliner there which made me feel right at home. I purchased a coffee and sat with the baby while he continued to fuss for about twenty minutes. I wasn’t in a hurry. I had nowhere to go and nothing on my to-do list that couldn’t wait.

Seven years ago, I would’ve been stressing about having to be somewhere or having things to do that would keep me from simply enjoying the quiet time with my baby.

Finally, he filled his diaper (hence the fussing) and I was able to change him and continue our walk as he fell asleep again, content and clean!

When we got home, I noticed a tiny hummingbird flying from its nest which was on our neighbor’s balcony. It stopped me in my tracks and brought me back to January of 2004, when I first came home from the hospital with my oldest son.

When I was pregnant with him, I discovered a hummingbird which had built her nest in a small tree right outside our front door. Around the time my son was born, I noticed a tiny egg in her nest and every day, walking outside with him in my arms, we peeked at the little egg and waited for it to hatch.

After the baby hummingbird was born, it stayed in the nest for several days before it was strong enough to fly on its own. It was bittersweet seeing the empty nest just a few days later, knowing that the baby and mom were both out enjoying their world and thinking about how quickly our offspring grow up.

From time to time, I’d see the hummingbird near that tree and over the 6 years that we lived in that apartment, it would come back to visit and remind me of those precious first moments with my son.

I just looked up the symbolism behind hummingbirds, reminding myself that at one point (after my first son was born) I had intended to get a tattoo of a small hummingbird on the back of my shoulder. I had forgotten all about it until this week.

Because of their ability to hover and take their time drinking nectar, hummingbirds are often thought to be reminders that life is meant to be savored.

Yesterday, my son and I came home from school to find the hummingbird in front of our door (on the welcome mat). It was clear that he was dying but had left his nest (or possibly couldn’t find it) to die in a dark, quiet spot. It was a sad, ironic moment, recalling what the hummingbird symbolizes and realizing that this week has been all about slowing down and savoring every moment, that life is too short to stress over the little things.

It’s something I need to continue to remind myself.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

The Case of the Leaky Car Seat

Why wasn’t I warned about this?

Our morning is nearly over and already my baby has taught me a great lesson that I want to pass on to you, and every other parent who leaves their little one asleep in his car seat.

After dropping off my son at school, I took a walk with the baby near the ocean and fed him before returning home. He fell asleep in the car, naturally, so I brought his car seat into the bathroom with me while I showered. He did not make a peep but after I stepped out of the shower, I heard him do what he does best – fill his diaper. I finished getting dressed and moved his car seat back into the living room. I returned to the bathroom to turn off the light and there it was, the first clue:

Clue #1

I quickly removed sleeping-baby from car seat to find this:

Clue #2

I solved the mystery: We don’t have a leaky car seat. We have a leaking baby!

Suspect Apprehended

Lesson learned: Be careful where you put your sleeping-baby-in-car-seat. Actually, be careful where you place baby’s bottom, whether he’s asleep or not.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Day One

After taking advantage of California’s Paid Family Leave and one full month to bond with our baby (and to help me stay sane), my husband went back to work yesterday. Although I was anxious about how it would go, I had a great day.

The morning started off with a visit to the pediatrician and a trip to the grocery store. Home to eat and feed the baby before heading out, yet again, to get my brows waxed (long overdue) and to drop off two bags of maternity clothes to a friend and mom-to-be-blogger. Home once again to feed the baby before heading out to pick up my son from school.

The baby slept most of the morning during all of these trips in the car but once we were home with his big brother, he decided to stay awake. By the time we all went to bed for the night, I was done. Not much energy left to function at that point.

I woke up to the baby fidgeting and grunting – the first clue that he either needs his diaper changed or milk. This was around 2:30 am so we slipped out of the bedroom and I changed his diaper and fed him before returning us all to bed (Oh, and I might have watched an episode of The Cake Boss that was waiting for me on the DVR during this particular feeding).

Less than two hours later, I was awakened by the baby again and since my brain was no longer working, I did what came naturally to me. I picked up the baby and started our usual nighttime routine again – diaper change and feeding. Only this time, he spit up most of what he ate before I realized that he wasn’t hungry. He had only eaten  a few hours prior. Duh.

Lesson learned: Sometimes it’s ok to change the baby’s diaper and put him right back to bed.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Biological Clock

My hormones have been fuckin’ with me this week. I don’t typically swear like a sailor but this week, especially, I’ve been reaching for strong words to help explain the complexity of my emotions.

It all started on Monday when my son asked me for a baby brother. At first, I thought it was cute and entertained the idea with him, letting him know how much work is involved with having a baby. I tried to put it out of my mind but on Wednesday, he asked me again, only this time, he was pleading in the way that kids do when they’re begging for things like candy, TV or toys that they really, really, really, really want.

It brought me to tears. It didn’t help that I also found out this week that not only are my neighbors expecting their first baby, but a friend of mine is expecting Baby #2. Her son and mine play together and are in the same class at school. I felt jealous before I felt anything else and guilty for thinking of only myself.

I had planned on having more kids after my son came along. My husband and I discussed having at least two children, if not more, when we first tried to conceive. When we separated, one of the first and strongest  emotions I experienced revolved around my mourning for the family that I would never have, the children that I felt he had robbed me of.

Realistically, I couldn’t do it again. The late night feedings, diapers, teething, breastfeeding, potty training and  the thought of everything else that comes with having a baby pretty much stops that longing, and yet, my biological clock, the hormones raging inside, leave me feeling empty, lonely, longing for another child.

I convince myself that there’s still time. I’m still young. Women have children in their late 30s or into their 40s so I have plenty of time. But what kills me is that I cannot give my son what he wants. Not because I want to give him everything and anything he desires, but because it’s something I really, really, really, really want to. Right now. I want him to have a younger sibling. I would love to see him grow up with a brother or sister. He would make a great big brother and wants the opportunity to prove it.

There are many people that I know of who have had children later in life, or with second husbands or wives. For the majority of the people I’ve spoken to about this, their family dynamic changes quite drastically. The older siblings often feel like there’s now a second family that has replaced the original and the age gap between the kids doesn’t provide them the opportunity to really grow up together.

I know what you’re thinking. I need to get over it and be happy with the life  – and family – that I have.  You’re thinking that I need to stop comparing my family with everyone else’s and learn to accept the hand that’s been dealt. I’m thinking the same thing, only I’m also trying very desperately to convince myself that I don’t really want another baby. It’s just the hormones talking…

fawn and forest

I would love to have another baby, just so I have an excuse to buy these beautifully designed products that I didn’t know about the first time around. No, really. I would love to have another baby…eventually. Now, if or when that actually does happen, I’d have to actually find a way to afford these things. For now, I’ll add them to my Baby’s Registry list and think of ways to make some money in the meantime….donations anyone?

Seriously. Wouldn’t you love to own these beautifully designed products for your little one?

tetra 2 | dresser + changing table

aerial crib toddler bed conversion kit

lullaboo changing table

henry IV high chair

playdate table + stools

mini bent ply stand

doodle drawer desk

(My son has this desk and we both adore it.
He colors or eats his snacks there, uses it to put together puzzles or watch TV.
It was definitely worth every penny.
And it was easy to put together, too.)

numbers poster

kids snack set | letter

organic dandelion jumper

animal puzzle

All products available through fawn & forest

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home