Run Like a Mother

The author tour for Run Like a Mother wouldn’t be complete without an accompanying race, which means if these writers are coming to your neighborhood, you’d better start training so you can try to keep up!

Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea, co-authors of Run Like A Mother: How To Get Moving – And Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity kicked off their book tour at Bookpeople in Austin, Texas Friday evening, followed by their running a half-marathon race the following day through the Texas countryside.

Over the next four months, the Dimity and Sarah will both (together and separately) travel around the country, reading or signing at bookstores in 15 cities, with more events added as summer approaches. Each bookstore reading will be followed by a 5K “fun run” through that city, with winners receiving small prizes, such as t-shirts.

Next week, they’ll be in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico before heading East. Check out the full tour dates so you don’t miss them as they run by or through your city!

Run Like a Mother was written by and for busy women who strive to balance running with their career and family life.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Growing Happy Kids

Maureen Healy, founder of Growing Happy Kids will be appearing in Los Angeles in early February, promoting her new book, 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids.

Focusing on empowering, educating and inspiring young people, Healy’s book takes a fresh look at how parents and educators can encourage children by the simple, yet powerful use of language, every day of the year.

Healy combines the wisdom of Eastern and Western religions, calling on parents to not only nurture the emotional development of their children, but their spiritual development as well.

Many of the ideas presented by Healy are directly in line with the methods behind Redirecting Children’s Behavior. The powerful reminders, quotes and suggestions found throughout the book will not only build confidence in your child, but might also work to remind us adults to step back and begin to see  and appreciate the world through youthful eyes.

Hug someone every day!

Create a calm space.

There is no better. Each one of us is unique and special.

Find what makes your heart sing!

Happiness grows when you help others!

Being silly is serious business!

Maureen Healy has worked with refugee children in Tibet and India, and has built child-centered programs around the United States. She also blogs at Creative Development for Psychology Today. Visit the Growing Happy Kids website for details on her upcoming appearances and how you can help to grow happy kids.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Rachel Sarah: The woman with two first names

Whenever I am introduced to someone named Sarah, the first thing that comes to mind is how she spells her name. Is it Sarah with an ‘h’ or without?

Ever since I discovered Rachel Sarah, I knew there was no way I could ever forget her name, or her writing. She’s everywhere. And I mean that in a good way. I picked up a copy of her book, Single Mom Seeking, while I was going through my divorce. I loved the idea of living vicariously through Rachel as I read her  story about  dating as a single parent.

Slowly, I began to immerse myself in everything having to do with being a single parent and soon started to share  stories online of my transition from married life to being a single mom.

Not long into my blogging “career,” I was honored to be  invited to be a part of the Single Parents Connection on Facebook. Rachel was one of the people who put it together and I was thrilled to be listed among her and some other amazing writers (Mary Pols, for example).

There are so many women and men out there who are successful at managing work and family and many who are also single parents. Rachel Sarah is one of them and is a true inspiration to me. She’s a terrific writer, an amazing mom and a woman who I can definitely relate to. I hope to be able to buy her a drink someday or thank her in person for helping me get through one the most challenging stages of my life, so far.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Interview with Yoga Mama

Yesterday afternoon, I was interviewed by Yoga Mama for her podcast which is recorded live each Friday (12:30pm PST). Yoga Mama is also known as LaSara FireFox, MPNLP, a master practitioner and trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), life coach, educator, and professional speaker.

LaSara helps her clients to find balance in their lives, and alignment with their personal and family-held values. She is also a mother of two, a successful author (Sexy Witch, nonfiction/self-help, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005), and founder and CEO of the Ecstatic Presence Project and Global Family Awakening: an educational, peace and humanitarian family adventure club. She teaches and coaches internationally.

LaSara recently wrote an article entitled Seven Steps to Healthy Communication With Your Kids.

1. Honor your kid’s questions with answers.
2. Own your feelings.
3. What isn’t said speaks more loudly that what IS.
4. Own your boundaries.
5. Respect your child’s boundaries.
6. Respectful, loving touch fosters connection. Stay embodied.
7. The model is the message.

Read more about these seven steps or download other articles on LaSara’s website and join her every Friday for the Yoga Mama Satsangha weekly podcast.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Interview with Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan

I read dozens of books a month. I read for work and for pleasure. I read to entertain myself, to escape and to educate myself or to distract me from reality. I read The Four Man Plan at a time in my life when I felt comfortable. I had finalized my divorce, I had been getting to know a man who was quite special to me and I read the book from an outside perspective. I had no idea at the time where I would be in twelve months or further down the road.

Here I sit, after having interviewed Cindy Lu and received her brutally honest insight into the history of my relationships and where I will be after following The Four Man Plan. This book will be around for a long time to come. I say this because I feel that women of all ages will find it useful and most likely, need to pick up the book time and again after not-so-successful results due to the experimental nature of dating.

I’m bringing up this book again because I feel that single parents are missing out on the opportunity to find love because we are so focused on our children and managing our schedules and energy that we tend to believe that our relationship with our child or children is enough.

Cindy helped me realize that this is exactly the case for me. After our on line chat, I’ve realized that many of the points in the book need to be tattooed to my forehead, like:

Believing that your future love is “out there somewhere and will find me someday!” is about as practical as believing that about your lunch or your next paycheck.

If women decide as a gender that we deserve to be treated with honor and respect, then men will react accordingly and rise up as a gender to meet our requirements.

No one man is responsible for your happiness. That is a solo project. The happier you are with yourself, the better the partner you will be adding to your life.

Cindy seems to have grown up with the same ideas about love and boys (and men) as I did. Just like me, Cindy daydreamed about Ponch and Chaci and wanted to find someone just like her dad (if only to change him, make him fall in love with her, and stay with her forever).

Using several theories to create The Four Man Plan, Cindy compares the plan to a round of golf: “Each player, or in the case of The 4MP, each Plan Man, is on the course simultaneously, doing his individual best. Every once in a while, a glance at the leader board or a roar from a distant crowd lets them know they better step up their game. This is a gentleman’s game of finesse and self-regulation, not a contact sport.”

Be sure to head to the FourManPlan and visit the FOURum often to chat with Cindy and other 4MPlanners. If you’re interested in what Cindy had to say during our on line discussion, keep reading:

cindylu	Hi!!
Hip_M0M	Let’s get this interview started!
cindylu	Fire away!
Hip_M0M	since I first mentioned your book on my blog, I’ve received several email messages, from men (who are married) and single parents who want to incorporate this Plan into their lives. Is that even possible, in your experience?
cindylu	Single parents definitely, married men, not so much, that’s exactly the kind of behavior we’re trying to AVOID.
cindylu	But, I do like the idea of reframing our minds around the fact that our partners cannot be EVERYTHING to us.
Hip_M0M	Alright. Let’s focus on catering the Plan to single parents (women in particular).
cindylu	Yes, let’s focus on our single moms!
Hip_M0M	You’ve mentioned before that it’s important for single moms to set aside a quarter of their time for their children. Is it just as important to set aside another quarter for herself?
cindylu	Oh, I think more than a quarter! I think the Mantris Graph is its own kind of “vision board.”
cindylu	So for my single moms, they block off a WHOLE space, for their kids and themselves.
cindylu	I even have busy career women block off spaces, too. Whatever you need.
Hip_M0M	What would you suggest as far as getting started and including my intentions in the graph?
cindylu	Ok, let’s talk about you!
cindylu	My first question is, what is it that you want? To get married again? To stay single? To have a monogamous relationship?
Hip_M0M	I would love to have a man in my life, eventually, who would be a life partner and who would want to bring a child into the world. I have a son and would like to have at least one more. I have plenty of time. I’m in no hurry.
cindylu	So, Hip_M0M. Here’s what I’ve got for you.
cindylu	If you were to fill in a Mantris Graph, which I suggest you do, as I suggest all my 4MPlanners do…
cindylu	Put your ex-hubby in the box with your son. He’s now a part of your “family” but no longer a relationship potential, yes?
Hip_M0M	Definitely no romantic feelings there or potential for reconciliation.
cindylu	So you have a 2 1/4, your booty call guy.
cindylu	You have a Quarter Guy in your long distance Man.
cindylu	So what to do with your free Half Man?
Hip_M0M	Good question. I’d like someone who I can run with, catch a movie with, and enjoy a good conversation or dinner.
Hip_M0M	A “date” guy!
cindylu	You haven’t experienced a true teammate yet, I’m guessing.
Hip_M0M	Nope.
cindylu	So, you are working on a puzzle without the box on the cover.
cindylu	You have to rewire yourself, date by date, experience by experience.
cindylu	Women, people, run from themselves when they cannot accept love.
cindylu	Worrying about hurting another’s feelings is always a cover for something else.
cindylu	I would guess that for you it’s that you have a hard time speaking your truth and getting reactions from it.
cindylu	The Four Man Plan will help you practice having the “hard conversations.”
cindylu	Which they say, the person that is most successful is the one most comfortable having difficult conversations….
cindylu	That takes practice!
cindylu	It’s just that now you must see each man as a teacher. It’s great to work with people you already know, already have a pattern with and try to shift it.
cindylu	It gives you the affirmations that you need as you try to move through the world in a completely different way but with the same people.
cindylu	It’s about UNSUCKING at love!
cindylu	If you do the Plan, stuff comes up week by week, and you see the evidence right in front of your face, which takes it out of the theorizing mind and into the real world.
cindylu	These are the kinds of beliefs that will slowly or suddenly shift!
cindylu	You have to decide what you want to change and then lay the bricks.
cindylu	It’s work, but that’s the fun we have on the 4MP.
cindylu	You want a match!
cindylu	You want a hero!
cindylu	You deserve it!
Hip_M0M	So, where do I find this guy? I know he’s out there.
cindylu	He’s out there, for sure.
cindylu	You’re just turning over the wrong rocks.
cindylu	Your hoo-ha has bad taste!
cindylu	You wouldn’t let your kid eat McDonalds every day, even though he likes it!
cindylu	We often say in the Forum to be a better parent to yourself.
cindylu	I know there are things you let yourself do that you know are bad for you that you would tell your son, absolutely NOT!
Hip_M0M	Yes, I need to be more disciplined with my relationship, that’s for sure.
cindylu	That’s why we use the structure. It helps!
Hip_M0M	So, many of my readers are not familiar with your book or will want to know how to get started.
cindylu	The easiest way of course, is for them to get the book.
Hip_M0M	And for women who are convinced that they have no time to date one man, let alone four, what do you tell them?
cindylu	Most women spend time OBSESSING about one man.
cindylu	Dating four and having your wits about you and a tried and true system actually saves you time.
cindylu	It’s the chaos that takes up time.
cindylu	But of course, every woman does the Plan at her own pace.
cindylu	“Four” men is really just a metaphor for NOT one man, so that women can discover the patterns are within THEM, not the man they are focused on changing.
cindylu	The 4MPlan is a way for women to make themselves the “project.” And then at some point along the way, when they discover that they love themselves first, the Right Man, a Hero Man, steps into the picture.
Hip_M0M	So how did you come up with this Plan? What was your dating experience like before the Plan?
cindylu	Well, all that’s in the book. But I truly SUCKED at love, and it was a ride that I wanted to get off of.
cindylu	I realized that I needed to “parent” myself somehow, discipline my hoo-ha.
cindylu	So I created a system based on the best advice I’d ever gotten but couldn’t follow.
cindylu	I needed it to be a system so that when my resistance came up, I still knew what I needed to do.
Hip_M0M	so what was the best advice you received that you never followed?
cindylu	The biggest one was what became the Wait For Sex Index.
Hip_M0M	That’s where you say, “The more time you spend with a man without having sex, the more you will intrigue him, the greater potential he will see in you, and the more he will do to get himself into the end zone.”
cindylu	Basically, a woman once shook me by the shoulders after I had been treated badly AGAIN and said, “Don’t you know? A man will only be as nice to you as he needed to be to sleep with you the first time?”
cindylu	It took me 5 years more of “practice” and gathering data before I finally GOT it.
cindylu	When it’s all laid out in front of you, and you do it like an experiment, it becomes undeniable.
cindylu	That’s why the plan works. First the lesson, then the proof.
Hip_M0M	Last question: with your husband – how long did you know him before having sex with him?
cindylu	I knew him for 5 months. But we weren’t dating for 4 of those…
cindylu	I lucked into it!
Hip_M0M	Amazing. Congratulations!
cindylu	Thanks so much for your time and openness.
Hip_M0M	Thank YOU!
cindylu	You seem like the perfect 4MPlanner: honest, loving and willing.
cindylu	Join us in the Forum! You can pick a secret super hero name to keep it anonymous if you want!
cindylu	it will be our little secret!
cindylu	love to you and your boy.
cindylu	xxoxo
Hip_M0M	Alright, Cindy. Thanks so much for your time, advice & inspiration.

Yes, Cindy did tell me that my hoo-ha has bad taste. She also told me that I need to be a better parent to myself. She’s got great advice for every woman that will help change their perspectives on dating and the way they see themselves. We all deserve true love and happiness so I encourage every woman who thinks she sucks at love to check out The Four Man Plan and join this new Dating Revolution.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

You’re Invited to a Blogger Dinner Party!

The wise woman who blogs over at Barking Mad has come up with an amazing idea that she’s shared with the blogosphere. Actually, I learned about the event from following her on Twitter.

In order to participate, I must invite ten bloggers to a virtual dinner party that I will host. The rules are simple. I can invite only ten but any ten bloggers.

The ten bloggers I would like to invite are:

1. The Bloggess – Because she is truly the funniest fucking writer I know – or wish I knew – or “know” on line.
2. Guy Kawasaki – Because the first time I met him I didn’t get to ask him all the questions I would’ve liked to and plus, he is the manliest “guy” I know that still looks good in a pink hat and feathered boa.
3. Lena Chen – Because she doesn’t give a shit and we’d have a great deal to talk about…besides sex. Maybe.
4. Mignon Fogarty – Because she’s helping change the face of publishing having just authored a book inspired by her blog, Grammar Girl.
5. Pete Cashmore – Because he’s from Mashable and because I need to determine if he’s as hot in person as he appears in his profile pic.
6. No Minivan – Because like her, I’m a thirtysomething mom who is also a redhead (although mine is natural) and I also have a son (she has two boys). Unlike her, I grew up in the midwest and moved to SoCal and I LOVE my minivan.
7. Rebecca Woolf – Like Mignon Fogarty, she went from blog to book with her Girl Gone Child memoir.
8. Dana (aka Mamalogues) – Because she’s the *bravest* blogger that I know of.
9. Busy Dad – Because he has truly changed Friday & Saturday Nights with the creation of Weekend Blog Hoppers
10. David - Because his blog, Dad’s House, has truly changed the focus of my own.

This was not an easy list to compile but I’m thinking that the above company would truly make for a fabulous gathering of talented, humorous and interesting people who would inspire much laughter, arguments and perhaps tears – all for which would make an amazing blog post (or two).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Book Review: Nordie’s at Noon

I can’t recall where I first heard of this book, Nordie’s at Noon, but I got the chills when I read the subtitle: The Personal Stories of Four Women “Too Young” for Breast Cancer.

Breast cancer kills approximately forty thousand women each year.

These are the true stories of the emotional ups and downs that four women faced during their mid twenties and early thirties after being diagnosed with breast cancer.

Like any group of young women, they talked about their careers, their relationships, their dreams and more serious issues that brought them together once a month at a local Nordstrom department store: cancer.

Jen (diagnosed at 27): I decided to focus on living and taking chances. I would have no regrets whether I lived to a hundred or to thirty. I was sent here for a purpose: to raise my little boy and help other women who may follow in my footsteps. That’s what I would do. (p. 149)

I am thankful that I can appreciate my parents now while they are still living, and I look forward to the day when my children have their own children and can begin to understand how very much I love them. (p. 173) Two life-changing experiences had happened to me at the same time. I brought a child into this world and faced my own mortality. Either one would have been a challenge on its own; facing both at the same time was pretty overwhelming. (p. 190)

Patti (diagnosed at 24): You don’t realize that hormones are such an integral part of you until they’re taken away. Most women lose their hormones gradually. Mine were gone in an instant. (p. 187)

A true celebration of friendship and living to the fullest, Nordie’s at Noon is also a book that will encourage women everywhere to be proactive with their health – and to realize that no one is “too young” for breast cancer.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

This is How Rumors Get Started

I discovered BABBLE a while ago and still find myself laughing out loud while reading Rebecca Woolf‘s blog, Straight from the Bottle.

Just recently, I heard about her appearance for a signing of her book, Rockabye: From Wild to Child, here in San Diego, but was unable to attend. Then, after two seconds of Google research, I found her personal blog, Girl’s Gone Child (love the name).

I got in touch with Rebecca through her website and (and her publisher through theirs) and asked if she might be interested in attending the upcoming Parenting Party … or offer signed copies of her book to be given away.

Not only did she respond directly (OK so it was an automatic response), but her publishing company representatives also sent me an email, asking if I would like Rebecca to come to the upcoming Event. Rumor has it she may just be there. Either way, we’re going to be giving away copies of her book that night. Will they be signed copies? Will Rebecca be making an appearance? Stay tuned…

There are more surprises up my sleeve for the Event…don’t miss out!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Selznick, Frazee & A Big Box of Books

The SCIBA Trade Show and Authors Feast was last night. It took us nearly three hours to get to the Biltmore with an accident, road construction and typical Saturday evening traffic holding us back but we finally arrived!

We had enough time to walk the floor of the Trade Show, visit with many wonderful Sales Representatives and page through several fall books which I had not had a chance to see prior, and we still had time to mingle, enjoy a cocktail and wander through the beautiful hotel to see what other events were taking place that evening.

I was joined by two of my colleagues for dinner: Lynn, who most SCIBA members recall from her previous position as manager of The White Rabbit; and Christina, from The Book Works in Del Mar.

Also at our table was a member of the Harcourt children’s division (also located in San Diego), along with four booksellers representing Russo’s Books and Newsboy Books & Video.

The highlight of my night was meeting two of the award nominees (the two that I would’ve asked to meet if I was able to choose). Marla Frazee, whose work I absolutely adore, sat down at Table #12 just before dessert was served (what was that, by the way?). I nearly leaped across the table to shake her hand and gush over her work. She took me by surprise when she mentioned that some of her favorite picture books were Kane/Miller titles and I couldn’t even begin to think of what to say to her after that, especially since we had to practically yell at one another to be heard.

Lynn was able to introduce me to Brian Selznick after the event and I was able to congratulate him after he received his much-anticipated award for his children’s novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret.

Other award-winners were: Lisa See (Peony in Love), Wendy Werris (An Alphabetical Life), Denise Hamilton (Los Angeles Noir), and Robin Preiss Glasser (Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy), who admitted on-stage that she had a little too much to drink.

It was a wonderful event and I was so pleased to be able to attend and very grateful for the big box of books that I opened early this morning with my son, who insisted that I read him Bossy Bear and Merry Christmas, Mouse! immediately. (This of course, after he asked me why his babysitter had to leave.) Welcome home, Mom!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

This book really opened my eyes as a parent and how *easy* it is to miss important signals about our own children. My son is only three, but I’m glad I read this book now and have recommended it to parents and teachers since it deals with a high school shooting and how the shooter evolved.

Jodi Picoult jumps from year to year – past to present – to tell the story of Peter during different stages of his life, the victim who ends up retaliating and fighting back against the numerous bullies who pick on him, beat him up, make fun of him and literally make his life miserable on a daily basis.

As a mom, I wanted to embrace this young boy and protect him but then you see that his mom does just that and how the consequences of her behavior plays out. You see his childhood friend slowly forget and ignore him when he needs allies more than anything.

If you’ve ever made fun of someone or been made fun of you can certainly find something in this story that you can relate to. If you’re a parent or educator working with children of any age, you can’t help but be affected by this touching and heartbreaking story of a young boy who was too afraid to ask for help and a witness who didn’t know how to speak up or speak out against the attackers (aka bullies) until it was much too late.

Jodi Picoult, 41, is the bestselling author of fourteen previous novels: Songs of the Humpback Whale: A Novel in Five Voices (1992), Harvesting the Heart: A Novel (1994), Picture Perfect (1995); Mercy (1996), The Pact: A Love Story (P.S.) (1998); Keeping Faith: A Novel (P.S.) (1999), Plain Truth (2000), Salem Falls (2001), Perfect Match: A Novel (2002), Second Glance: A Novel (2003), My Sister’s Keeper: A Novel (2004), Vanishing Acts: A Novel (2005), and The Tenth Circle: A Novel (2006).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home