It’s been brought to my attention that although I have shared intimate details over the past year regarding my relationship with my new husband/father of my soon-to-be-here baby boy, I have not shared the story of how we met fifteen years ago…
I’m sure his version of the story is slightly different than my own, but this is how I remember it.
It was our Freshman year of college.
He was the quiet one. I was intrigued and quickly fell in love with his laugh – and his eyes. You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes.
It took me a while to get up the nerve, but after several months, I found myself face-to-face with him as we ran into each other in between classes. I casually mentioned that I had been wanting to ‘hang out’ – just the two of us – to get to know him better. I can still feel how red my face was and how sweaty my palms were when I finally said this out loud.
He was sweet and sincere and looked me in the eye when he turned me down. He had a legitimate excuse. He had recently started dating someone whom he had met in high school. I didn’t want to interfere, so I let it go.
We spent a lot of time together after that even though his relationship got serious and I got serious about dating other guys. He was always there for me when I needed a guy’s perspective on the relationships I was in.
His girlfriend spent more time with our group of friends and quickly became a familiar face and someone who I was used to having around. She attended a different school, two hours away, and would spend time in our college town every other weekend. The times when he was on his own – so to speak – was when he and I really got to know one another.
During the winter, at night, I worked at the mall, and oftentimes, he would come in to visit and we’d just sit and chat – for hours – while I pretended to get things done. In between classes, during the day (or when we were supposed to be in class) we would drive around and talk. I‘m pretty sure I did most of the talking but he never seemed to mind and I have never – to this day – found anyone who listens as well as he does.
Our friends started to get curious. Was there something going on between us? Why were we spending so much alone time together?
He had the same girlfriend for years. I dated different guys throughout that time and it never once occurred to me that it might seem odd or inappropriate that he and I spent so much time together. We were just friends.
During my fourth, and final, year of college, we became roommates. There were three of us sharing an apartment at the time, two guys and myself. I was in heaven after living with mostly females up until that point (no offense, but I have always gotten along better with guys).
Things were going great until I found out that I was pregnant…
Eleven years later, I’m pregnant again and my husband – my best friend of many years – is going to be moving to San Diego to join us soon. It’s been an incredible journey.
Through everything we’ve experienced, and over all those years and despite the distance, we remained friends, great friends. There’s nothing that I have found to be more important in maintaining such a strong, romantic relationship.
We’ve built upon the foundation that was set years ago. I was there for him after he and his girlfriend broke up. He was there for me after my divorce and helped me realize that I am much stronger than I ever knew I could be.
Through all these years, we’ve been there for one another and I am ever so grateful that we have many more years ahead of us to share together.
The roots of our relationship are deep. We’re planting the seeds so that our boys (our baby and my son from a previous relationship) have a healthy and stable couple to look up to and learn from.
If someone had told me ten years ago that someday I’d end up married to Mr. Right, I would’ve laughed. We would’ve laughed about it together.
Love looks different at 33 than it did at 22 and it’ll look different in another decade, but I have no doubt that if we can survive – apart – what we’ve been through so far, our relationship can only get stronger as we continue to grow, live, and laugh – together.
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home