Is there an etiquette book out there on what NOT to say to a pregnant woman? There should be.
Here are a few of the things that have been said to me – so far – that have been a little less than flattering. Of course, now that I’m in the third trimester (and waddling like a penguin), I have less patience for stupid people but seriously?! Even other moms have said some pretty stupid things to me, such as:
1. “Oh, you look so cute. Your belly is the only thing that’s gotten fat.” – Um, did you just call me fat? Using the word cute beforehand does not soften the blow. I don’t consider myself fat (I’m pregnant) but thanks for bringing the extra weight to my attention. I hadn’t noticed until now.
2. “You must be due any day now!” - No, actually, I have a few months to go but thanks for asking. You know what happens when you assume…
3. “Oh, you’re having another boy?” - When this is said in a negative tone, you suck. You might as well have said, I’m sorry to hear that,” since that’s exactly how I interpret your expression. That’s pretty much why I’m looking at you with that blank stare. I have no idea what to say next. Other than STFU.
4. “Are you sure there’s only one in there?” – Again, I already know how big I am, I don’t need you to remind me that I can’t see my own feet or that I could knock out a small toddler if I swing my stomach in their direction unexpectedly.
5. “Looks like you’ve got a bun in the oven.” – Really?! People still use this expression? Because it’s a stupid one.
What did people say to you while you were pregnant that annoyed you? Let’s share – and then get over it because I know none of the people saying these things meant any harm but, at least for me, the third trimester = PMS, so you’ve been warned.
Oh, and for those of you who have asked first before touching my growing belly, thank you. I don’t mind being rubbed down like Buddah, but respecting me enough to ask my permission first makes this mama happy.
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home
Posted by JenniferfromLaJolla on October 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm
I remember an older woman telling me that I looked like I was going to pop, when I still had two or three months to go on my second pregnancy. She was working at a cosmetic counter and even though I needed something from one of the lines she represented, I didn’t buy anything that day. Witch–with a “b.”
Posted by San Diego Momma on October 7, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Oh shit. I think I said every one of these things to you last Sunday.
Rubbing your belly without asking in my mind,
Deb
Posted by hipm0m on October 7, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Haha! No, I would’ve called you out if you had! And you – you can always rub my belly. I mean, until I have this baby, that is. After that, it’d just be weird.
Posted by becky on October 8, 2010 at 10:36 am
Oh, I got #4 from a woman at Babies R Us. And Target. Last time I was pregnant. I don’t get out as much this time.
Um yes, I’m pretty sure there’s only one in there considering I got an ultrasound and all. You know that technology that lets you see how many are in there? Yeah, we used that.
Geez people, by the time we’re big enough to be showing most of us already know how many babies are in there.
Fair warning – I might rub your belly next Monday, but all’s fair if you rub mine back.
Posted by Julie Frans on October 8, 2010 at 12:20 pm
I loved when people would tell me what I was having because of how I was carrying. Really? Are you a specialist in obstetrics? People state it like they “know”- yet it seemed that every person’s reasoning completely contradicts what other people “know” to be true. Funny thing is, I gained the same weight with both boy and girl, and carried exactly the same. So there, all you know-it-all’s! Nice try!
Posted by hipm0m on October 8, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Yep, I forgot to include that one. So many people “insisted” that I was having a girl – although I had found out pretty early on that it was a boy. I suppose if anyone guesses they have a 50-50 chance, but still…
Posted by Cecily on October 15, 2010 at 10:45 am
I really enjoyed this post, because it is such the truth. Ahhhh, the social faux pas that you encounter when you are pregnant . When I was pregnant with my son, I was completely blown away by how many strangers (a lot of them at the check out counters
felt like they had free reign to comment on how I was carrying or comment on how big I was. Does the check out lady really think that asking me if I am having twins when I am 7 months pregnant with one child really lead to a feel good exchange?? Such craziness!
Posted by Sarah Hurm on November 6, 2010 at 8:32 pm
I have had most of these comments made to me during my three pregnancies. Except #1 because my hips and backside got big when I was pregnant with both of my boys. I was one of those who knew I was pregnant before I took the pregnancy test because I would be crying in the closet – I would have been eating healthy and suddenly could not fit into my jeans already… It was hard for me to take when other women would say that they could fit into their regular jeans until their 4th or 5th month.
I had a sister in law who would give birth and put on her pre pregnancy jeans before leaving the hospital.
Worse for me than the comments were the people who just could not keep their hands off my belly!!
They would be walking towards you with their hands out like they could not wait to feel a kick or something. Not to bad when a family member did this – but someone at work – this is where you have to draw the line…
Posted by The Best Of 2010 « Happy Healthy Hip Parenting on December 21, 2010 at 10:29 am
[...] Stupid things to say to a pregnant woman – I will probably end up saying one of these things to a pregnant woman in the future because, let’s face it, with every pregnancy I truly believe a woman loses some brain cells. It’s probably just me. [...]