I’ve been dating Mr. Right for several months now (seven, if you’re keeping track) and every time his name comes up, the same question is asked: When is he going to move here?
At first, I avoided the question, letting people know we take things day by day and are in no hurry to rush into anything.
If you asked either of us directly, we’d say the same thing. We enjoy our time together, look forward to those long weekends and cherish the time we have to ourselves. In that time, we’re able to develop our individual interests, careers, goals, and hobbies so that we can fully give to one another when we can.
But…
We’re not kids anymore, and our relationship with one another has quickly become one of the most important components of who we are. We schedule time to chat during the week so that we can devote quality time to one another, checking in on a regular basis, gaining an understanding of the daily situations, experiences, thoughts, and emotions that same-city couples encounter.
Again, there’s no rush. In fact, I would argue that we’re more cautious because of the additional challenges we face.
Long-distance relationships require additional effort. It hasn’t been easy and I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand our situation if they haven’t been in a long-distance relationship themselves, or in a relationship with a single parent.
The fact that the two of us have known each other for so long seems to be the key to our success. What happens in the future depends on our continued commitment to being open, honest and receptive. I see no reason why this would change.
We create our destiny. It is what we make of it. We allow our experiences to influence our emotions and shape how we feel about where each step will lead.
As I write this, I think of how far we’ve come, the distance between us and the history that keeps us moving forward, together, looking in the same direction, focusing on where we hope to be twenty years from now – by each other’s side.
It feels good. It feels right. It feels safe, comfortable and perfect. In every way.
I hold on to this feeling…knowing that every moment we’re apart brings us closer together in the end, and yet there is no end…
This is just the beginning.
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home
Posted by Kc on March 10, 2010 at 7:34 am
I couldn’t have said it better myself (obviously). You’re a great writer!
Posted by Penelope on March 10, 2010 at 7:58 am
Fantastic post!
Posted by Christina Rodriguez on March 10, 2010 at 11:12 am
My husband and I met and fell in love in college, spent our summers apart, and then spent another two years long-distance after graduation. When he carried me through the threshold of our home here in Minnesota after we married, it was literally the first time I had seen the place. It was hard at times, but it’s important to remember that loving couples do this every day. For military families it’s a fact of life.
Posted by Natalie on March 11, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I say when it is right, it is right!
Though I’m not a fan because the reason I’m divorced is partly from a long-distance relationship — I never understood how controlling he was and always said “oh, it will be better when we live together” — but I also know that my case is the minority and so many do work out!
Posted by anniegirl1138 on March 11, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I moved. To Canada. LDR’s happen and I understand that for some there are reasons to go slowly. The physical separation couldn’t be gapped through phone, email, IM for too long and the traveling was difficult because the burden fall on him as his children were grown and being widowed without viable childcare options, I was stuck where I was.
We’ve been married for nearly three years and I am glad we made the decision not to go long-term with our LDR.
Posted by Prav on March 12, 2010 at 6:14 am
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Posted by naim-kun on April 16, 2010 at 10:01 pm
i rate 5 stars!!