Do You Care for Valentine’s Day?

I  cringe when thinking about the time my ex-husband gave me a Vermont Teddy Bear for Valentine’s Day – over six months after he moved out and filed for divorce.

Even though the card said that it was from my son, I couldn’t help but gag at the idea. I mean, it’s not like our son (who was only 3 at the time) actually picked it out or even suggested that he get me a gift at all. In fact, when I opened the box, my son grabbed the bear, assuming it was for him. I didn’t argue.

Sad to say this is the memory that first came to mind when reading about this contest from Care.com (the largest and fastest growing service used by families to find high-quality caregivers) .

They have put together an awesome Valentine’s Day contest which allows people to share their most romantic or funny Valentine’s Day memory. I’m guessing if you have a story to enter, it’s much funnier and way more romantic than mine.

One lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a trip for two to Los Angeles, including round-trip airfare, a two-night hotel stay at the luxury SLS Hotel with dinner for two at SLS’s Bazaar restaurant and a private VIP tour of the Warner Bros. Studio lot, where “Valentine’s Day” was filmed.  Twelve finalists will each receive two tickets to see the film.  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, Care.com will also provide the winners with a free one-month premium membership to find that perfect babysitter.

HOW TO ENTER: Enter at www.facebook.com/caredotcom, and share your most romantic or funniest Valentine’s Day memory. All entries should be rated PG. The twelve finalists will be selected during the months of January and February 2010. One Grand Prize Winner will be selected from among the 12 finalists in February. Three Finalists will be selected by a panel of judges on or around each of the following dates: January 23, 2010, January 30, 2010, February 6, 2010, and February 13, 2010. One Grand Prize Winner will be selected from among the 12 Finalists on or around February 13, 2010.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Mother Beauty

Last week, much of my energy and excitement went into a professional photo shoot that I put together rather quickly. I gathered up the courage to put myself on center stage, posing for nearly 75 photos during the two-hour session, changing into over 7 outfits and using several different props and backgrounds. From a business suit to my birthday suit, I took a wide range of photos to show how diverse even just one woman can be in the many roles she plays.

Although this was a rather impulsive idea, the plan was to create a photo shoot around “The Many Faces of Mom” theme. My focus was going to be on breaking the stereotype of what a mom is “supposed” to look like and I was going to share many of the photos online.

There are a few photos that will not be disseminated for the entire world to see, but I’ve put a few on my Facebook page, added a new avatar on my Twitter account and will present a few of the more provocative pictures to Mr. Right, assuming that he still wants to be associated with me after all of this.

Back to the photo shoot:

e.l.f.’s philosophy is that beauty comes from within and it’s their goal to enable every woman to look and feel her personal best through the perfect blend of both the inner and outer person.

I’m not sure what the average mom “should” look like, but I’m amazed by the beautiful women I have met since becoming a mother who inspire me with what they do professionally, how much they do for their families, and the many ways in which they make this world a better place. All of these things make women – and moms – beautiful and I hope to inspire many more moms to do what I did and spend a day (or at least a few hours) being the center of attention. We deserve it.

Let’s face it, usually, it’s all about the kids, the job, our significant other, or anyone other than ourselves. As women, we’ve been taught (or is it a natural trait?) to nurture, take care of those around us and put others first. Many of us feel guilty when we take time to get a pedicure, enjoy a massage, or simply spend a night out with friends.

This photo shoot was a liberating experience for me. I may not be model material (well, perhaps a plus size model) but I walked away that night feeling confident, beautiful and yes, sexy.

I’m a passionate parent and I take my work and my family very seriously, but I’m equally passionate about having fun and feeling good about myself. My hope is that this, above all else, shines through in this post, the photograph and the image of motherhood I’m leaving you with.

I would not have been able to share this story if it weren’t for the many people who helped me put together this amazing photo shoot (and helped put me together for it).

First, there was Jeff Davidson, the professional photographer who took the photos in his studio.  I was thoroughly impressed with the great many options he provided for poses, backgrounds, and the finishing touches on the printed images. His company, Cosmic Frogs Photography, has an interesting name and while I don’t have the story behind it, I’m sure there is one.

Second and thirdly, I have to thank my two hair stylists for putting up with my last-minute ideas. There was Niloo, my colorist, who darkened my hair the day before the shoot and Cynthia who shaped my brows, curled my hair and sprayed it with enough hairspray to last the entire day.

And last, but certainly not least, was my dear friend, Sugar Jones. She was my make-up artist and accomplice, joining me at the studio to help with my hair, poses, wardrobe, etc. She also reminded me to smile and helped me be able to laugh at myself without actually laughing at me.

Most of the make up was supplied by e.l.f cosmetics. They’re also known as Eyes Lips Face and they offer an assortment of products that are also very inexpensive (you can find them at your local Target store). The wonderful staff at this forward thinking company helped make it possible for me to even consider this photo shoot since they provided inspiration with their recent contest (which ended on December 31, 2009). The contest both intimidated and intrigued me, giving me the freedom and permission to even consider the idea of having these photos taken and creating my own lasting images to look back on.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Home Sweet Home

Last night was our first overnight at the new apartment. There was nothing to do but play cards since we packed up just a handful of items to bring with us at the last-minute. We snuggled next to each other at bedtime to stay warm, the sun waking us up this morning, reminding us where we were (the sunlight had a difficult time reaching us at our old place).

We sprawled our sleeping bags out on the floor of my son’s new room and brought just a few items to set up in the kitchen and bathroom – enough for a sleepover. Today, we made our second trip, bringing over a few more things that we realized we would need for our second night in the new place: warmer clothes (it was freezing here last night), and of course, my computer.

It’s amazing what one can live without when faced with the opportunity to really look at what you need. Downsizing has been, and will continue be, a way for me to really focus on the important things, allowing me more quality, face-to-face time with my son and providing ample time to finally finish the books that have collected dust on my nightstand.

There’s no TV here yet and I’m seriously considering whether we really “need” one. My son and I rarely watch television, but certainly take advantage of the DVD player and videos we’ve accumulated over the years. We can easily watch those on the computer and if all else fails, we have plenty of games and toys to keep ourselves occupied. I really see no reason to haul the heavy screen up the stairs and into our peaceful little cottage, a place that overlooks an array of trees and houses in the distance – a beautiful view that I feel will inspire me and my writing.

Tonight, I’m on call, cleaning up after my son since he’s been sick for the last few hours. You’d think there’d be nothing left to throw up after getting rid of his dinner, but he’s still writhing and retching in his sleep as I stand by, waiting for it to stop so we can finally get rid of this awful smell.

Being a parent means having to deal with the unexpected. As much as we plan and prepare, we can never underestimate the power of a sick child.

We’re staying in tonight and because my son’s marked his territory already by getting sick here, I know that he already considers this home. It’ll be hard to forget this first weekend in our new place, but we’ll have many more memories to create here. I’m just hoping they’ll be more positive and won’t create as much laundry.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Division of Property

When I was six months pregnant with my son (back in 2003), my ex-husband and I moved into this 2-bedroom condo which we purchased as first time buyers. I was both anxious and excited and in the middle of the nesting phase so everything had to be in perfect order, according to my standards, so I could feel comfortable and ready to welcome a new baby into our home.

Six years later, after a divorce, losing my full-time job (of 8 years), and seeing our son start Kindergarten, we’re in a much different place, except for the fact that my son and I still remain in the condo once shared by the three of us. Luckily, my son was much too young to remember when we all lived here together and because his dad has moved twice since then, I’m a bit apprehensive about our upcoming move, worried about how it will affect our son even though he’s the most adaptable out of all of us (most kids are).

When we first separated and were going through the process of divorce, I was working and traveling often, taking care of our son, who was 2 1/2 at the time, and rejected the idea of moving on top of dealing with everything else. I chose to stay in the condo with our son, believing that keeping the same home environment for him during the transition was in his best interest. Of course, this meant that the condo stayed in both of our names, we shared the burden of the mortgage and it seemed like a win-win for everyone.

Spending so much time inside the condo during the last year, after losing my job, has made me acutely aware of how draining this place really has been. It’s dark and filled with negative energy still looming from the toxic marriage we brought into it. Since our separation in 2006, several people have told me how I need to clear the energy with sage, get rid of the furniture and everything else that my ex-husband and I picked out together and of course, to  move out and get a place of my own. I have finally found the strength and the energy required to finally make this change happen.

I signed the condo over to him just a few days ago. I can’t even begin to explain how much relief I felt afterward. Freedom. Independence. That’s what I have waited for all along, knowing that I can make it on my own and can create a space for my son and I that is ours alone, even though it’s only temporary.

I pick up the keys to our new place tomorrow and it all seems so surreal since I really only started looking for a new place to live during winter break, less than a month ago. After a quick search for apartments in our area, I realized that I may not actually be able to afford a place of my own.

I cried and complained to a good friend who suggested that I look for granny flats and less than two days later, I saw the place that we will be slowly moving into during the next few weeks. It was the second place I looked at and for whatever reason, this one felt perfect to me, my son fell in love with it as well, and the woman who owns the property made me feel so comfortable that I wanted to hug her when we first met.

This feels like a huge step up for me, even though we’re downsizing quite a bit. Right now, we live in a 2 bedroom condo with 2 full bathrooms. I have two large closets in my master bedroom, and use every space possible to accommodate my home office and overflowing bookshelves.

Our new place is one large, open room with vaulted ceilings and a lot of natural light and windows. We have a large patio and the biggest highlight, of course, is that it’s much less expensive than what I’m paying now. Our biggest challenge will be deciding what we can bring with us and what we’ll have to donate, sell, or toss since there’s not much room for “stuff” we don’t really need.

2010 marks a new stage in my life. Besides this big move, I’m also preparing for my third interview with a company looking to hire me as their Social Media Specialist, a newly created position that I am eager to fill.

It’s an exciting time. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Are you looking to move – into a home or apartment? Move.com can help with all your moving needs, from locating a neighborhood that best suits you, calculating the mortgage you can afford, to decorating your new place once you finally find the home of your dreams.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

All I Really Need to Know About Parenting, I Learned From Watching Mad Men

Along with everything else in this world, parenting practices evolve over time. Watching AMC’s Mad Men reminds us that things, and we as a culture change, usually for the better and with good reason.

One of my favorite scenes shows Betty Draper sitting at the kitchen table, smoking yet another cigarette, while Sally runs through with a garment bag over her head. Betty does not address the plastic bag, but does make it clear that she expects to find the clothes that were once inside it  in perfect condition. She  is clearly annoyed with the interruption, asking Sally to play in the other room, blowing second-hand smoke in her direction as she leaves the room.

In another episode, Betty’s thoughts distract her while she’s driving. The camera pans between her in the front and the two kids playing in the back seat, climbing over the seats, clearly before the time of seat belt laws or car seats.  When the car ends up on the curb, the kids wind up on the floor of the car, luckily unharmed.

Sally, it turns out, is a great bartender, mixing drinks for her parents and their guests, although at one point, she helps herself to a drink when she’s in the Sterling Cooper office and Don ends up carrying her out after she falls asleep.

In another episode, Betty shows her disappointment in her husband, Don, for being so lenient with their son, Bobby. “Do you think you’d be the man you are today if your father didn’t hit you?” she asks. Later in the same episode, Don reveals his real feelings towards his father and the angry violence he endured. “My father beat the hell out of me. All it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him.”

Watching a scene from Mad Men that involves the children leaves most people feeling awkward and uncomfortable, remembering what it was like as a child and thinking about how we react now as a parent. Emotions and feelings are typically ignored and dismissed in the series,  or handled in aggressive and unhealthy ways, like drinking to excess, having affairs and taking things out on the kids. When Betty and Don sit down to tell the kids of their  plans to separate, it creates a very uneasy feeling for those of us who have  ever sat on either side of the couch during that same conversation, recalling the emotions and the difficult questions that no one seems to have the answers to.

Betty finds Sally smoking in another episode, simply imitating the adults around her, a pretty common practice for kids. It makes me a bit nostalgic for the candy cigarettes I used to practice with when I was a child.

Overall, Mad Men serves as a wonderful time capsule into the life and times of the 1960s, an era  in which our culture and society went through many changes, effecting everything from business practices to parenting and family issues, all of which are represented in the ads that Sterling Cooper creates inside the boardroom.

Mad Men, if nothing else, allows us to pat ourselves on the back for the way we parent today, but note that in another fifty years, our own grown children (and grandchildren) will be looking back on these current times and wondering what we were all thinking (or smoking).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Queen of Georgia

I know Georgia is a Southern State known for its peaches and a great </sarcasm> TV show is named after some ladies that live in the capital city, but I had no idea that Georgia is also home to Saint Simons Island, where the King and Prince Beach & Golf Resort is located.

This Georgia Resort is one beautiful place (as I can see from the pictures online) and I think someday, if all goes as planned, I’ll be walking along the sand outside this resort, hand in hand with Mr. Right.

One can only dream, right?

Register online now to win a Complimentary 2-night stay. You can also follow them on Twitter and become a fan on Facebook. Don’t forget to check out their blog, where they share details and more photos of the gorgeous resort, ideal for a King, Prince, or Queen.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home