Growing Happy Kids

Maureen Healy, founder of Growing Happy Kids will be appearing in Los Angeles in early February, promoting her new book, 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids.

Focusing on empowering, educating and inspiring young people, Healy’s book takes a fresh look at how parents and educators can encourage children by the simple, yet powerful use of language, every day of the year.

Healy combines the wisdom of Eastern and Western religions, calling on parents to not only nurture the emotional development of their children, but their spiritual development as well.

Many of the ideas presented by Healy are directly in line with the methods behind Redirecting Children’s Behavior. The powerful reminders, quotes and suggestions found throughout the book will not only build confidence in your child, but might also work to remind us adults to step back and begin to see  and appreciate the world through youthful eyes.

Hug someone every day!

Create a calm space.

There is no better. Each one of us is unique and special.

Find what makes your heart sing!

Happiness grows when you help others!

Being silly is serious business!

Maureen Healy has worked with refugee children in Tibet and India, and has built child-centered programs around the United States. She also blogs at Creative Development for Psychology Today. Visit the Growing Happy Kids website for details on her upcoming appearances and how you can help to grow happy kids.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Reflections – 2009

My son turns six in less than seventy-two hours. I can’t even begin to explain the difference between my son at five and the little boy he has now become. He’s losing his baby-ness more and more each day. He’s growing up much too quickly, and I can’t help but take advantage now, since he’s still small enough to sit on my lap and snuggle next to me and light enough for me to pick up and put on my shoulders.

I see him change so drastically after he spends the 4-day weekend with his dad. He looks and acts more grown up each time he’s dropped off here.

Last week, while putting together our holiday e-greeting, I spent hours looking through each and every photo of my son from 2009. We had some pretty exciting milestones to report this year, as he started Kindergarten, lost his first tooth, moved into a new house with his dad and started sleeping in twin-sized beds (at each of his houses).

There are so many more great memories to be made, and more experiences to watch unfold as he becomes more independent, more confident, and more aware of the world around him.

I’m raising my glass tonight to six more years of a happy, healthy, hip relationship and six more years of  being able to kiss him goodnight.

This post was in response to Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Progressive Parenting

Parenting styles vary from house to house and from generation to generation. Our children learn about new things and ideas every day, teaching us about concepts that never even existed when we were their age. So much information is out there to process and download, that it’s amazing we have time for much else.

I am constantly learning, from my son and from simply observing, listening, and engaging in conversations that help me evolve. I have had the pleasure of being able to learn about myself, and see life – and people -  through the eyes of a child since becoming a mother.

My son and I have an amazing relationship, and now, as I prepare (mentally) to celebrate his 6th birthday (Where has the time gone?), I am ever so grateful for the tools I’ve been able to implement from the Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB) course I took over three years ago. I am able to see too, how the methods I’ve learned have also had to evolve as my son has gotten older.

Since becoming a Certified Parent Educator, I’ve been able to help dozens of families (I’m not exaggerating) with temper tantrums, potty-training, sibling rivalry, dealing with divorce and all sorts of other issues that the average family goes through.

It all comes down to communication.

If I hadn’t been such a passionate parent from the beginning, I don’t think I would feel as successful right now, but in witnessing my son and having him now be old enough to understand, and express how he feels, I know we have been blessed with the greatest gift, having been and having the opportunity to share it with others.

Growing up, I had a rocky relationship with my dad. We still don’t talk that often, and when we do, it’s very much like a boss talking to his employee since we never really were all that close (yes, he was the authoritarian parent). My mom and I, on the other hand, shared everything – and still do (she would be the permissive one). She’s probably the only person who’s read each and every blog post here over the last two years (except for my ex-husband’s lawyer, but that’s a whole other blog post, entirely) and oftentimes I wonder if I share too much information with her (she’s on Facebook too).

The parenting styles of my mom and dad were the exact opposite of one another and I had a hard time figuring the two of them out – as I was trying to figure myself out.

At one point in my late teens, I announced to my mom that I was never going to have kids. I wanted to break it to her early, so she could be prepared and made sure to point out that she’d still have grandchildren, since my sister was there to make up for my lack of babies.

She just looked at me and simply said, “You’ll change your mind.” I was annoyed with her response and wanted so badly to prove her wrong, to be able to say, “I told you so,” because that’s what I did back then, rebelled against both of my parents.

They’re still married (nearly 38 years now). Somehow, having opposite parenting styles didn’t tear them apart, but I know that was a major reason behind why my ex-husband and I couldn’t make our marriage work. We parented from the opposite ends of the spectrum as well, and it wasn’t until after we  separated (and both took the RCB course), that our parenting styles became more in alignment with what we both wanted to expose our son to.

I’m reading a few books right now that are helping me understand parenting styles (and myself) more in-depth. One is called Partnership Parenting: How Men and Women Parent Differently – Why It Helps Your Kids and Can Strengthen Your Marriage. I’m also reading The Co-Parenting Survival Guide, and after reading them both, I plan on sharing the information, along with my personal experience, with future clients and work to improve my relationship with my son (all fine things in life improve with age).

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Babble’s Top 50 Mommy Bloggers

Babble is a great website devoted to the modern parent. Their editors recently announced the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers based on categories of Best Design, Best Written, Most Confessional, Funniest, Most Controversial and Most Useful.

Best of the Best: The Pioneer Woman

Dooce Nie Nie Dialogues Amalah Mighty Girl Woulda Coulda Shoulda Finslippy Sweet Juniper Her Bad Mother Parent Hacks Design Mom Girl’s Gone Child The Motherlode The Three-Martini Complaint Department Baby On Bored Jessica Gottlieb Rugrat Reprieve Free Range Kids

a little pregnant Rookie Moms Motherhood Uncensored/Mominatrix Mom 101 Inside Out Ask Moxie Alpha Mom CityMama Play Groups Are No Place For Children Notes From the Trenches Fussy Busy Mom Sarcastic Mom Whiskey in My Sippy Cup Cool Mom Kimchi Mamas

Because I Said So Silicon Valley Moms Blog White Trash Mom So Close Suburban Bliss Mother Goose Mouse /Mom Slant This Full House The Redneck Mommy Celebrity Baby Blog Bacon Is My Enemy The Mommy Blog Chookooloonks Queen of Spain Single Mom Seeking Boston Mamas Rocks in My Dryer

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many of these women in real life and getting to know them on-line over the past few years. Congratulations to each and every one listed here. I learn so much from them so it’s a thrill to see so many friends included on this 2009 Top 50 Mommy Bloggers list.

Check out the San Diego Mommy Bloggers list as well for a city-specific directory. If you have other city lists to share, please link to them in the comments below.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Better the World

There are so many great causes and charities that we would each love to contribute to, but it’s just not possible for most of us. Better the World has created a great online tool that allows you to donate to charities of your choosing by simply shopping at the sites you already purchase from (including Target, eBay, Best Buy, iTunes, Gap, and Macy’s).

How it works is simple—when you are surfing the Internet you are already seeing ads that corporations are paying for. By joining Better The World and downloading its tools, you still see ads, but 90% of the revenue from Better The World ads goes to a charity you pick.  As an added bonus these ads are all from companies that have social responsibility programs, social products and services, have products of interest to members, or are non-profit organizations.

By going to www.BetterTheWorld.com you can immediately start raising money by:

1.      Choosing a charity you are passionate about.
2.      Downloading a sidebar (seamlessly integrates into Microsoft Internet Explorer & Firefox) or EZ Shopping Widget.
3.      Surfing the Internet as usual.

For those of you interested in bettering the world, whether you are someone who already contributes but wants to do more, or you just can’t afford to donate to a cause quite yet, Better The World offers an opportunity to help the charity of your choice.  It’s a simple, but highly effective way of combining the power of the Internet and your desire to help make the world a better place.

The more people who surf together to help a charity, the more money we can raise!

Operating in Canada, Asia Pacific, Europe, and the United States.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

An Educated Choice

If you’re visiting this site because you recently read about Happy Healthy Hip Parenting at An Educated Choice, welcome! It may or may not be everything you expected, but a sense of humor is certainly required! This blog is where I de-stress, where I come to share, complain, entertain and inspire. There is an amazing group of educated, delightful, generous and funny individuals in the on-line community and I’m glad you’re here to be a part of it.

While I focus on my clients when I’m sitting down with them, everything they share with me is confidential. Many parents, single parents in particular, are going through an extraordinarily hard time right now. I should know. I’ve been juggling many things and wearing many hats since becoming a single mom over three years ago.

Our son is now in Kindergarten. He goes to a premiere independent school in La Jolla and both his dad and I are devoted to giving him the best education there is, both inside and outside of the classroom.

Redirecting Children’s Behavior is a program that I recommend to any and all families looking for ways to reduce the stress in their lives and in their relationships. Trust me, it works.

Thank you for stopping by, continuing to read, and supporting me through the journey. I hope I can do the same for you.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

I may or may not have applied for a job at HOOTERS.

This story may (or may not) be true and it may (or may not) be based on real life events. Names may (or may not) have been changed to protect privacy.

Just before Thanksgiving, I sat in a courtroom facing a family judge who ordered that I make ten job contacts a week. Ten per week.

I have experience in publishing as well as with social media and traditional marketing. Surely, there have to be jobs out there for me, right?

Well, it’s been nearly a year since I was laid off. Just about twelve months have gone by and I have been searching looking for jobs on every available job site I could find. Now, with the pressure of having to apply for ten jobs each week, I’m panicking. Or at least I was, until last week.

I stepped inside Hooters for the first time – ever – to apply for a job. It wasn’t on my list of places I’d like to work, but after discovering the restaurant while searching for another address which happened to be right next door, I convinced myself, (with Mr. Right egging me on), that if I can walk around in public wearing a wig and red frilly underwear, then a job working at Hooters might be just the next step up or down in my career path.

The Hooters girl outfit is a bit outdated, but the atmosphere in the restaurant was not unlike other sports bars I’ve been to. I asked the perky hostess if they were hiring and she answered with, “Well, we’re always taking applications.” This, I felt, was a scam, a plot to keep me inside the restaurant long enough to crave the Hot Wings that they’re known for.

She disappeared to get me an application and her manager appeared in her place. He invited me to sit down (smooth move), and I proceeded to fill out the application which asked for my work history, references and an affidavit stating that I wouldn’t sue Hooters (if I were hired) for sexual harassment, or whatever.

After about one minute (maybe less), the manager came back and asked me if I had completed the application. “Almost,” I responded and felt pressure to perform and began to write faster and messier than usual. Perhaps this is why I neglected to realize that I put down the phone number of Mr. Right’s parents in the reference section…

When I finally completed the paperwork, Anthony, the restaurant manager, sat down with me to go over the application. At this point, I am dumbfounded that I am still there, applying for a job that would require me to wear orange shorts, (much, much smaller than the granny panties I pretend not to own).

He said several things to me over the course of our ten minute conversation that truly startled me. He mentioned that several “little girls” had recently gotten “big girl jobs,” so he was trying to fill their positions. My response: “I used to have a big girl job.”  (I couldn’t make this up if I tried.)

We proceeded to talk about my work history, why I was sitting across the table from him and my lack of experience in the food industry. “I have experience on this side of the bar,” I told him at one point. He wasn’t impressed.

Finally, Anthony pointed out that the job (being a Hooters girl) was more than just about the uniform. It’s about the experience and the atmosphere. Of course it is! Then, out of nowhere, he asked if I’d be OK with dancing and getting on the microphone. He obviously doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.

“Oh, you’d have a hard time taking the microphone away from me. I love being on stage.”

I think I got the job. Fingers and legs crossed.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Brothers and Wives

Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Tobey Maguire star in Brothers (directed by Jim Sheridan), an amazing and intense story of a young man fighting to survive after being captured in Afghanistan, and upon return home, fighting for his old life back.

The movie trailer depicts the anger, resentment and anxiety that Sam (played by Maguire) brings home after his experience as a POW, but it’s the chemistry between the characters played by Portman (Grace) and Gyllenhaal (Tommy) that truly sends Sam over the edge. After returning home, he watches every move, follows every sound and literally falls apart when he discovers that his daughters and wife feel more safe with and loved by his brother, Tommy, who had just been released from prison before Sam was deployed for the fourth time.

Maguire lost a great deal of weight for the role, training several times a day while only consuming 1,200 calories to prepare for this project. He talks about it in an interview with Access Hollywood and speaks of the marines he met with at Camp Pendleton and the research that went into the development of his character.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) affects military families in devastating ways. There are resources available to help but as Maguire so genuinely states in his interview, it is those of us who have not served that need to be open to the discussions that typically remain unspoken.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Have yourself a happier, healthier holiday

Guest post from the Alliance for a Healthier Generation

The holiday season is a magnificent time of year, but it can also be challenging for families trying to eat healthy and stay physically active. Between family gatherings, parties, lots of food and traveling, healthy habits can get left in the cold. But the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, founded by the American Heart Association and the William J. Clinton Foundation, has tools and tips to help families stay healthy and physically active while still enjoying the holiday season.

Think Healthy Thoughts

Spend time before the holidays planning healthy snacks, appetizers, meals, and desserts to prepare. Make a grocery list and stick to it. Whether you are a host or guest, be the one to create healthy alternatives to the typically not-so-healthy holiday menu.

Snack, Don’t Skip

Just like any other day, you shouldn’t skip meals during the holidays. It is not a good approach to cut calories by cutting meals from the day. Not eating breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner may lead to overeating at holiday meal times. Keep normal eating times and if you do happen to skip a meal try to snack on healthy foods to keep you from starving and then stuffing.

Don’t Forget Rest

Don’t forget to add sleep and relaxation to the holiday to-do list. Staying well rested not only provides an extra boost of energy, it also helps keep you from overstuffing yourself. Studies have shown that lack of sleep directly affects the amount of energy you have, your appetite, and your ability to maintain a healthy weight; in fact, getting enough sleep can decrease your chances of becoming overweight.

Stay Physically Active

Don’t use the holidays or the cold weather as an excuse. Even if you are traveling you can find new ways to engage in activities alone or with family and friends. This time of year is the perfect time to try out something new like ice skating, or head to your local indoor pool or basketball court for some fun.

Rock the Halls

With the holiday season also comes lots of fun music, so get the family physically active by turning up those holiday tunes and dancing—anything that keeps the kids moving and having fun. If it’s impossible to pry your family away from those holiday TV specials, encourage them to do jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups during commercial breaks.

About the Alliance for a Healthier Generation

The American Heart Association and the William J. Clinton Foundation joined forces in May of 2005 to create a healthier generation by addressing one of the nation’s leading public health threats – childhood obesity. The goal of the Alliance is to reduce the nationwide prevalence of childhood obesity by 2015, and to empower kids nationwide to make healthy lifestyle choices. The Alliance works to positively affect the places that can make a difference to a child’s health: homes, schools, restaurants, doctor’s offices and communities. For more information please visit: HealthierGeneration.org

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

The Christmas Secret

Donna VanLiere is the author of many NYT Bestselling titles, and The Christmas Secret is her most recent.  I am happy to announce that I’ve been provided with 2 copies to give away to a few lucky readers!

The Christmas Secret follows single mom, Christine, through a rough spot in her life, having to leave her two children home alone, so she can go to work and stash some money away for rent, heat, and a few presents to put under the tree.

Christine struggles with the idea of dating again on top of everything else she’s juggling and as a single mom, I could really relate to the confusing thoughts and emotions that go through her mind as she tries to justify her feelings regarding the new man in her life.

He’s so handsome. What’s the point? Maybe he’ll love kids. When he hears about the kids he’ll be gone. He’s too young for me. I’m too old for him.”

With the support of friends and those who create a new family for her and the children, Christine rises above the pain and hurt from her past and steps into the warmth of the holiday spirit, surrounded by love from those lighting her path.

Pain is a part of love…I don’t think we’d recognize love without it.”

The Christmas Secret is just one of many titles by VanLiere. Others include The Christmas Promise, The Christmas Blessing, The Christmas Shoes and The Christmas Hope. Three of these books have also been turned into movies, with The Christmas Hope recently premiering this weekend as a Lifetime Original Movie. Look for it on Sunday, December 13th.

You can also read my review for her memoir, Finding Grace, a book that is both haunting and healing.

If you’d like to win a copy of The Christmas Secret, for yourself, or as a gift for someone else, please let me know what your holiday secret wish or burning desire is this season! Mine is to find a job that will allow me to move closer to my family, and Mr. Right.

Good luck.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home