So, I attended a birthday party this last weekend with my son and about 30 other kids. I knew many of them from his school, although some were unfamiliar to me. Of course, since I knew many of the parents, it was them who I talked to mostly but I also enjoy meeting new people. I’m friendly and am always looking to meet new playmates for my son – which requires that they have parents that I can hang out with. (When your kids have friends with parents that you might not have things in common with, it’s usually not such a good thing.)
Anyways, I was trying to mingle and not look like a single mom desperate for a new husband, but I was trying to figure out where all the single dads were. It’s not like I have a gay-dar type detection for these types of fathers. So many married men don’t wear their wedding band (trust me, I look on the left hand of pretty much all parents I meet – men and women).
The stereotype used to be (back when my parents had young kids) that the dads would drink beer, play softball together and not really have much involvement in their kid’s lives. Nowadays, you can’t be too sure what father is on weekend duty (working dad or single father) since they’re all much more involved in their children’s lives than generations before.
I think this is a good thing, for those of you wondering where this is going, but personally, I wish there were some sort of symbol or hand gesture to be able to recognize other single parents. Again, I’m talking about both men and women here, since these are the moms and dads that I can relate to the most.
There’s gotta be a code that we can create so that we can find each other in a crowded room. Don’t you think?
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home
Posted by Rachel Thompson on September 1, 2009 at 10:08 am
I would LOVE it if there was a code!!!
Posted by Kristin T. (@kt_writes) on September 1, 2009 at 10:13 am
Too funny. A code would be awesome. If there was something like the little fish symbol Christians use, people could tattoo it on their arm or wear it on a chain around their neck.
When I met my new husband, we were both single parents but it took me weeks of observing before I was pretty sure that was the case. Then I got confused all over again, because he is good friends with his ex-wife! Finally I straightened it all out—he was definitely single, she was definitely his ex. A special symbol would have saved so much trouble!
Posted by Jim on September 3, 2009 at 5:38 am
Not meaning to sound like a wise guy, but a straight out question usually does the trick. I know that makes some people uncomfortable, but it usually pays off by demonstrating your forthcoming nature. Not easy, but great for cutting out the bull.
Posted by hipm0m on September 3, 2009 at 9:34 am
Well, duh. That seems so obvious, and yet, I’m sitting here wondering how that conversation would go…I’ll try it next time and let you know how it goes!
Posted by Laura on September 7, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I think the East Indians wear the red dot on their forehead when they are married. Hmmm. Something like that? Haha!!!
Posted by bad mummy on September 8, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I’ve been thinking about making up a shirt for my kid that reads ‘if you think i’m awesome, you should meet my single mum’. Perfect for the playground and parent/teacher nights.
Posted by mamapearl on September 10, 2009 at 9:25 pm
love it! especially the part about not looking too desperate as a single mother, how many times have i been at a school function and totally checking out the scene, just maybe, because they’re might be a hot dad to talk to that wouldn’t seem scandalous–always sucks when you become the hot dad magnet, even when they are married. We can’t help it if we’re so open and charismatic, it comes with the territory, right?!