Growth Spurt

No doubt about it – my son grew since I saw him last. I dropped him off at summer camp last Monday (the 20th) and yesterday morning, when I saw him again, I could not believe how much taller he was! His first tooth is loose and it seems even his vocabulary and maturity level have increased.

I, too, grew in many ways during this past week, having time to reflect, both before and after BlogHer, along the road as Sugar Jones and I drove across country, tweeting and laughing our way from San Diego to Chicago - and back again.

This was my first BlogHer experience, and it did not disappoint. There was as much drama, laughter, drinking and learning involved as I had anticipated. Although it was a bit more intense than I imagined.

It was overwhelming. I felt slightly intimidated, but overall, it was quite humbling to be surrounded by so many great writers that I have been reading and following and even more that I am just now discovering.

As a writer, I appreciate the advice provided during the humor panel, from the talented women on stage (The Bloggess, Bern This) and the many people I met throughout the weekend (Shash, Mr. Lady, Anissa, Shauna, Redneck Mommy, Her Bad Mother and more).

Being away from my son for nine days put things into perspective for me. It reminded me of why I started writing in the first place, why I formed this company two years ago and what it is I so enjoy most of all (being a mother).

I’ve been laying low this week, trying to put my thoughts into words and wanting so badly to sit down and just write, but instead, I’ve been spending quality time with my son, stopping only for a few minutes here and there to jot some ideas down, and publishing my best material on Twitter.

My son is sitting next to me right now, on his own computer, creating online adventures that belong only to him, and this weekend, we’ll be celebrating summer. Laughing, playing, and growing. Together.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Child’s Play X2

What makes Matthew, of Child’s Play X2 a happy, healthy, hip dad? I had to travel all the way to Chicago in order to meet him in real life but from chatting with him through Twitter and reading his blog, I knew I could not miss the panel he was speaking on.

Before leaving for our roadtrip, I sent Matthew some questions to ponder so that those who were not familiar with his writing could get a bit more info about who he is, both on and off the web:

1) You started your blog in 2004. Had you done any other writing prior to that?

I had not. In fact, for the first year or two I didn’t even consider what I was putting on my blog as “writing.” Over the years, however, I have come to love the writing aspect. Many of my posts are told in story form or there is a setup to a punch-line and I enjoy crafting those posts.

2) How has blogging changed (for you) since then?

Blogging has changed a lot since I started my blog. My cousin Maggie (Mightygirl.net) turned me onto blogging and back then not many people knew what blogging was. Back then there was a relatively small amount of parent bloggers and we all seemed to be having kids or had young kids. We would add each other to our blog rolls and comment on each other’s blogs and that’s how we built up readership. Now there are so many blogs that it’s very difficult to stand out.

3) Please share the story of how you came to be a speaker on the upcoming panel at this year’s BlogHer.

I’m still not sure how I became a speaker on the BlogHer panel! I was looking at the BlogHer website shortly after registering and noticed there was a proposal for a panel called Vaginally Challenged – The Men of BlogHer. It was proposed by Adam Avitable of Avitable.com. I think I clicked on something that volunteered me for the panel but then I completely forgot about it. Until I got an email saying I had been selected to sit on the panel. I’m very excited about to experience my first BlogHer conference from this perspective.

4) Please share your children’s (nick)names, age and gender.

I have four year old boy/girl twins. My nickname for the boy is TheMonk and my nickname for the girl is Swee’Pea.

5) How do you maintain a healthy relationship with your children? With your wife?

I have maintained a healthy relationship with my children by being as involved in parenting my children as my wife. As a father, I think it’s important that my children see me in a similar way that they see my wife. I also try to maintain consistency with my kids from my wife to me. The kids know that my wife and I will back each other up and that we will consistently enforce rules so there is no pitting mom vs. dad going on.

My kids also know that I am there for them. I keep my promises to them and I think they know they can count on me.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with my wife has been much more difficult. Having twins was extremely challenging for us and the first year, especially, was the most difficult year of our lives. Our relationship certainly took a back seat. We are only now beginning to try and schedule time for the two of us that doesn’t involve kids because it’s so important to keep our relationship strong.

6) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about each of your children?

Kisses, in our family, have magical healing powers. Boo boos are kissed and made better. One day, my son fell on his butt and when I tried to soothe him, he turned around, stuck his butt in the air and yelled, “KISS IT DADDY! KISS IT!” I did.

My daughter is a devious one who is learning how she can play Daddy like a cheap violin. Just recently she caught me off guard by telling me what a good job I do as a daddy and giving me a piece of chocolate as my reward. I was so touched that my little girl was reaching out to me like that. She then asked for a bite.

7) What is your proudest parenting moment?

I don’t have just one moment. I am proud that my kids see me as an equal parent and that I am equally responsible for the upbringing of my children. I’m proud that I have made the decision to make my children a top priority all of the time.

8) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

My biggest parenting challenge is balancing time for me, my work, my wife and my kids. I always feel like one is suffering and often times it’s the “me time.” I’m trying to figure that one out. If you know the answer, please let me know!

9) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant in San Diego?

My favorite family-friendly restaurant in San Diego is Chick-Fil-A. I can get healthy alternatives for the kids, the kids often get a balloon and they can play in the play structure while I eat fries and drink milk shakes.

10) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your child(ren)?

I love going to the park with the kids. I love watching my kids take risks on the playground equipment, interact with other kids and then I often play along too. It’s fun being out and about with my kids and I hope I can keep doing well into the future.

11) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents? And to those expecting twins?

New parents need to talk about their parenting philosophy before they have kids. Both parents need to be on the same page about what’s important and what’s not. I think also that moms should help dads become more involved in the parenting – particularly if the dad isn’t sure what his role will be.

As for parenting twins, I think it’s extremely important to get the kids on the same feeding and sleeping schedule from the get go. It will make your life so much easier.

12) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I read blogs and I read books but the biggest person I go to for advice is my wife. She’s an extremely intuitive person and she is a big researcher who has the ability to take information and make it relevant. I don’t know how I would be as parent if I didn’t have her support.

13) How would your children describe you?

My children would describe me as silly, a bad dancer, and someone who loves hugs and kisses.

If you have any other questions about Matthew, his family, his writing, or his appearance at BlogHer, head on over to Child’s Play X2. You can discover all you need – or would ever want – to know about him by checking out his list of 100 Things.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

The ABCs of Male Bloggers

Because I have always gotten along better with men, I could totally relate to what the guys on today’s panel were saying about connecting with women writers and having female friends all their lives. I have connected online with several male bloggers and it was so awesome to see many of them here this weekend.

The fact that we had to come all the way to Chicago to finally hang out in the same room though is rather sad, considering that Matthew of Child’s Play lives in San Diego too and Jim of Busy Dad lives just hours away in L.A.

As a single mom, I started to really appreciate and understand my ex-husband a little better after I began to read, from the male perspective, what goes on in their heads and the dynamics within the mom and dad relationship. I have chatted with Busy Dad and Child’s Play X2 through Twitter and have really enjoyed getting to know them, both through their blog posts and by communicating directly with them.

Although Avitable is not a daddy blogger, he has a great blog which is very funny and quite raunchy and because he has named his balls and includes stories and pictures of them, it’s kind of like the daddy bloggers who share stories of their kids and post pictures of them online!

(L to R: @ChildsPlayX2, @BusyDadBlog, @hip_m0m, @avitable)

Luckily, there was room on the floor so I could sit in the very front for the great panel, that was packed, entitled Vaginally Challenged Bloggers: The Men of BlogHer. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the session. You’ll have to head over to the BlogHer stie for the full transcript and live footage for more!!

Avitable: “I’m the only whore here.“

BusyDadBlog: “I thought I pioneered the idea of daddy blogging.”

“I’d love to get a book contract.”

“I’m here because my friends are here.”

“I only exploited my kid once.”

ChildsPlayX2: “We’re trying to break through the glass ceiling of parenting.”

“I’ve always had more female friends.”

Many great conversations were sparked in this session and the women who asked questions added much to the topic. We got to talking about the men of our generation being more involved as fathers and more willing to share their stories and talk about their experiences in a more open manner than our own dads may have. We talked about the husbands who do not blog – or share as openly – and understand that the reason that blogging has brought us all together (online and to Chicago this weekend) is because there is a passion and an understanding amongst all of us writers that extends beyond our title (mommy blogger, daddy blogger, humor blogger).

One of the reasons why the men on the panel are here is because they are such great writers. There are many great female writers here as well, of course, but it’s great to see men bloggers represented and supported here in this community.

Miss Brit did a wonderful job moderating this panel and I was so very impressed and inspired by the three men “on stage” who were also very sincere, funny and oh yeah, pretty darn cute.

As one audience member stated, “There’s nothing sexier than a good dad.” Or a set of balls.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

LIVE from Chicago

I’m sitting in a room full, I mean – FULL – of bloggers – women who are writers and who either get paid (0r not) for what they, I mean WE do all day!

We’re just SECONDS away from the major announcement this year. They’re just making us wait a few minutes before letting us know where BlogHer 2010 will take place and everyone here is bracing themselves and praying that it’ll be in their hometown.

At my table are a few women from the Denver – based carpool are hoping that it’ll be there and I have to admit that it would be a beautiful place for a conference.

OMG! They’re making us WAIT….I swear. This is crazy. I’m getting text messages from my Blog Her Carpoolers ‘ roommate from somewhere in this room, but where is she? Is she broadcasting LIVE as well?

THERE SHE IS!!

I can see her. She’s at the next table and it looks like her coffee mug …

NEW YORK CITY

Hilton New York
near Rockefeller Center
August 5 – 7, 2010

Woo-hoo!

Oh, and I’m going to head to the GM booth today so that they can set me up with another Test Drive with the 2010 Chevy Camaro.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Grandparenting

My mom, aka Grandma Sylvie, inspires me and has encouraged my writing ever since I was a little girl. She was the one who told me about the Examiner and told me to apply. I got accepted within a week and have been having a great time writing for them – and making money!

I asked her to put some guest posts together for me so that I can have a grandparent’s voice and wisdom of her years of parenting experience to share and include here. She’s awesome and continues to inspire me with everything she says and does. Here’s her latest:

I worked the gift shop (volunteer work) yesterday and saw a good idea for me to start journaling again. I haven’t journaled for about 10 years or longer.

There was a book there called “Simplicity Journal.” On each page were the words: Happy, Funny, Heart, Good, Challenge, Learned, and Other Thoughts with enough space next to each word to write one word to a short paragraph.

My words for today are:

Happy- I am happy that Hip_M0M called me while on her road trip. It was good to talk to her and hear her voice.

Healthy- I took a walk and walked farther than planned. I saw an old man getting his mail and he told me to keep walking. He wished he could walk but can’t. It is amazing how a few words of encouragement can make this 58-year-old body move.

Hip- I play my favorite music. Right now I am listening to the soundtrack of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Grandparenting- I look at the grandsons’ photos and pray that they are happy and safe.

Take care and keep smiling.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

2010 Chevy Equinox

So, the 2010 Chevy Equinox has been awesome to drive. It was dropped off at my place in San Diego around noon on Monday. I grabbed the keys, signed the Loan Agreement and it was mine. I headed out that afternoon, driving through traffic in Riverside, past the lights of Vegas and finally stopped long enough to close my eyes for a few hours in Cedar City, UT.

Bright and early Tuesday morning, I got in the car and headed straight to Denver, stopping along the way for gas and potty breaks. I somehow scheduled it just right and was able to pick up Sugar Jones at Union Station in downtown Denver just before the traffic rolled in for the Rockies’ game.

We literally ran into iGrandmaTV (actually, her friend backed into us when we were parked outside the Union Station). We ended up crashing the Denver Podcasters Meetup and learned about some great sports blogs and podcast sites. We also enjoyed some great beer from the Wynkoop Brewery and visited with some friends.

Sugar took the wheel this morning and now we’re making a much-needed pit stop for some shut-eye so we can be ready to land in Chicago mid-morning tomorrow. We had a blast along the way, tweeting and laughing our way through a lightening storm and pulling over so the State Trooper could pull over a car ahead of us. Phew!

There are so many awesome features on the Chevy Equinox that we’re enjoying, like the leather seats with the red stitching (so cute!) not to mention the rear-view video camera that allows you to see what’s behind you as you’re backing up. Oh and your side mirrors rotate down towards the curb as well when you’re in reverse so you can see how close (or how far) you are from the curb when parallel parking.

No need to worry about blind spots with this vehicle either, since there’s small windows behind the second row seats that let you see that space that is typically out of view. The driver’s seat has memory adjustments for two drivers so Sugar and I have both been able to save our settings for where we’re most comfortable.

The best thing about the car, in my opinion, is the handling. It’s very smooth and with the V6 engine, we were able to pass some pretty slow travelers which allowed us to stay on track after getting slowed down by road construction. The cruise control has awesome settings that allow you to slow down or speed up with a roller button. The fact that it also gets 32 MPG (highway miles) also helped us cut down on our gas expenses!

Since we have no passengers (yet), enjoying the back seat, we’ll have to wait until our route home to test out the DVD players but I have a feeling we’ll all be pleased with how that works! The back seats are very flat so child or infant car seats will be snug and secure.

The automatic hatchback door also comes in handy as we’re usually heading towards the car with our hands full. We’re still getting used to “Dolly,” the GPS voice we’ve named for her sweet hospitable charm but she’s growing on us as is the XM Radio that we’re enjoying as we sing along to the 80s hits that keep us awake.

And, speaking of sing-alongs, Sugar will have some travel games for our trip back West, including a karaoke something or other that is sure to be entertaining. We’ll be taking song requests all weekend…

Keep on following us as we journey through BlogHer:

Twitpic:
SugarJones
Hip_M0M

Twitter:
Sugar Jones
Hip_M0M

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Grandma Says I Can!

The Juicebox Jungle has a new video up this week, entitled “Grandma Says I Can!” which is all about the relationship between our children and their grandparents. Many parents bite their tongues when it comes to the situations our parents or in-laws let our offspring get away with. They never let us get away with those same things when we were their age.

My mom and dad live thousands of miles away. My son’s other grandma lives even further. So, needless to say, I pretty much accept the fact that their role will consist of some spoiling behavior and I just shake my head when I see my parents give my son chocolate in between meals.

My mom (aka Grandma Sylvie) continues to inspire me. She takes care of my nephews at least once a week and even survived an overnight with the 1-year-old.

She sent me some great quotes about being a grandparent and I suspect there’s probably many more which she felt the need to filter out!

“Grandchildren: The only people who get more out of you than the IRS.” – Gene Perret

“My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.” – Gene Perret

If you’re a grandparent, please share your favorite quote with us. If you have a parent (or grandparent) in your life who can appreciate this, please pass it along. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Parentella

Are you looking for ways to help monitor your child’s homework and help them stay on track during the upcoming school year? Are you a busy parent who has a hard time managing your child’s school calendar as well as your own?

Parentella is an online portal for all things relating to your child’s classroom. The dashboard includes a section for Homework, Field Trips, Announcements and Special Activities. There’s even a gallery for teachers to share photos from classroom events and where parents can learn more about what goes on between drop-off and pick-up!

Even though my son’s school has their own system for providing parents with information, I plan on recommending this to their staff since it’s a beautifully designed, easy-to-use program that allows parents and teachers to communicate and make sure everyone’s on the same page. And it’s all password protected to ensure the privacy of your family.

So whether you have a child in daycare or high school, Parentella is a wonderful tool to help you remember what it is your child is assigned to work on over the holiday break, or what the school supply list included when you lose the paperwork that comes over the summer.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Mamavation

It’s been an amazing ride so far, participating in so many online networks that have led me to some pretty fabulous people. I’m heading to BlogHer this week to meet many of these individuals in real life for the first time, but before I get there, I wanted to stop and talk about one woman who truly has inspired me.

Ali (@PickleSugarPlum) of The Rehan Family, is hoping to be voted in as the first Mamavation Mom and I’m encouraging you all to vote for her as well.

Now, you may know one of the other moms in the running for this and I know they’re all equally worthy and as inspiring, but since I know Ali, I wanted to show my support by sharing with her how she’s already motivated me, with or without the official title.

I met Ali at the Mom’s Nite Out event here in San Diego back in May and have since seen her at Tweetups. I met her husband, learned about her desire to start her own business and have laughed with her over dinner. Nothing about our conversations ever led me to believe that she was uncomfortable with her weight or that it had started to affect her self-esteem.

Many of us use humor to cover up our insecurities. I’m guilty of this, for sure. Growing up, I never had an issue with my weight. I had a healthy pregnancy and was able to lose the weight afterward, but it’s been only recently (after my divorce) that I started putting on a few pounds here and there. I’ve gotten used to asking for larger sizes in the dressing room but that doesn’t mean that I’m comfortable with my weight. I make jokes about it and even though I’m constantly swearing at the bathroom scale, no one around me would ever know that my weight was an issue.

I don’t want to go into the whole body image thing and how media continues to remind us (and young viewers absorbing it all) that we could all stand to lose a few pounds or change the color of our hair or get those teeth whitened. It’s all around us. Every day, the “need” to improve ourselves, physically.

Ali is very brave and I extend to her the biggest congratulations on putting herself out there. You’ll see what I mean when you watch her VLOG entry. Voting for the first Mamavation Mom ends soon so head on over and cast your vote. The winner will be announced on July 31st.

Mamavation is a social experiment and weight loss campaign on twitter, created by Bookieboo, an online support group for moms trying to lose weight.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Billie & The Parent Plan

I love reading books – every once in a while – to my son that are a little beyond his age range. Some people would say that it’s not healthy to do so, but I find that talking about things that he doesn’t know about or using words or ideas that are unfamiliar to him only provides us with starting points for some great discussions.

Billie and The Parent Plan is about a young girl who is upset with her mom for getting remarried. It turns out that her step-dad is old enough to be her grandfather and her 18-year-old step-sister is just another “adult” that Billie is not thrilled to all of a sudden be living with.

 

Her father was never around growing up and he wasn’t discussed much in the book, but the entire premise of the book was about her having to get used to her new family and accepting these people into her home, which is something that many kids must deal with when (or if) their parents get remarried.

My son was not thrilled with this idea either. The thought of my getting married (someday) never crossed his mind and he was adamant about the fact that he was not OK with it. I wasn’t going to argue with him or tell him that I was never going to get married but I have a feeling that talking about it now (as opposed to when – or if – that person comes along) will prepare him for it, if that day should ever come.

The book, by Ann Bryant, is a wonderful discussion-starter on bullying, peer pressure, and dealing with a new step-family. You can guarantee that if I ever do get remarried, my son will be so in love with the guy he’ll either be our Best Man or he’ll walk me down the aisle himself.

Check out more great books from Usborne and Kane Miller.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home