Forgiving Quickly

by Steve Goodier

Whoever said it first got it right: “Life is too short for drama and petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.” What a wise and wonderful way to live – but not as easy as it seems.

In his audio book Living Faith, U.S. President Jimmy Carter talks about forgiving quickly. He says that without the knowledge that he can be forgiven, it would be impossible for him to face his own shortcomings. He relates that both he and his wife, Rosalynn, are “strong-willed” persons who find it difficult to admit being at fault.

One day, after a particularly harsh argument, Carter decided that he would never let another day end with each of them angry with the other. So he went out to his wood shop and cut a thin piece of walnut, a little smaller than a bank check. On it, he carved the words, “Each evening forever this is good for an apology or forgiveness, as you desire.” That evening, he gave the plaque to Rosalynn. He reports that, so far, he has been able to honor it each time Rosalyn has presented it to him. With his plaque, Carter made it possible for them to forgive quickly. They created a climate where it became safe to admit mistakes and where it was expected that those mistakes would be forgiven.

I suspect that if we can forgive quickly, we won’t have much problem with all of the kissing, laughing and loving. And we’ll probably do more of it.

Dad Blogs Convention 2010

When I first started my blog, I wanted to be sure to include Moms and Dads, although I realize that there are many more female readers here than male. I try to read as many blogs as I can, discovering a new one – or more – every day. While they may not be new to you, I like to share my discoveries so that other people can read the wonderful posts that are out there.

I discovered Dad Blogs today while visiting Daddy’s Toolbox and haven’t been able to stop reading. There’s some great writers over there and I’m looking forward to reading more. One post in particular, caught my attention and I wanted to put it out there so that more Dads can have a say in the idea of a future convention just for Daddy Bloggers.

Go on over and leave your comments. I can’t wait to hear more about the event and what is to come for the future of Daddy Bloggers.

Charm Story

Mother’s Day is just around the corner and I’m so excited to have discovered the Charm Story line of personalized charms from Things Remembered since it makes for a beautiful, thoughtful and personal gift which all mothers and grandmothers will appreciate.

First, select the starter bracelet or the starter necklace (for just $20) and then add charms from the long list of themes, shapes and designs available. Select from the dog tag, star, heart, flower, butterfly, sea shell, or birthstone charms. They can each be personalized and some even have slots for photos.

Things Remembered has several keepsake items that can be personalized for special occasions and for those special people in your life. Mother’s Day is May 10th. Be sure to honor your favorite Mom this year with a keepsake she’ll never forget – and will can’t wait to show off!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Sugar & Spice

I just got home from a Happy Hour which I thoroughly enjoyed with Ms. Cinthya Jones (aka @sugarjones). We met in Del Mar, at an Italian restaurant which has a patio overlooking the ocean. The wait staff pretty much ignored us , leaving us alone while Sugar set up the camera. We rearranged the furniture and got our drink on while the sun set behind us.

You should see the video live tomorrow morning on Sugar’s site. We have plans to get together once a week to continue the laugh-out-loud commentary about the issues of the day. Tonight, I think we touched a bit on swine flu, ex-husbands, baby mamas and daddys, iPhone applications, and a few other random thoughts. Next time, we’re going to discuss life as a single mom, since both Cinthya and I have experience in that department.

Once the sun went down and it got cold (California does get cold, believe it or not), we headed back inside to the bar area where the bartender was busy juggling the customers on his own since he fired his helper earlier (you’ll have to see the video for details on that situation). He did a great job and managed to keep his customers smiling. He had a great smile too, and Sugar kept pointing out that he looked like Barack Obama. There was a definite similarity, with the exception of his long natural curls.

Somehow, I ended up leaving my business card for him…not quite sure how that came about but we will certainly be back to visit Jeffrey and the rest of the folks over at Il Fornaio. Stop by and check out their menu. There’s even a location in Coronado for those closer to downtown.

You Found Me!

The fact that you’re reading this means one of two things – either you read my blog regularly and saw the announcement about the new URL, or you follow me on Twitter and/or Facebook.

I’ve been longing for a change, which typically starts as a little itch. It usually takes me a little while to determine what kind of change is necessary. In the past, I’ve scratched that itch by either cutting my hair (drastically), changing my hair color, buying new glasses (which you’ll see in my profile picture) or moving to a new apartment.

In the first years of my adult life, I moved to a new place at least once a school year. I moved to San Diego about ten years ago (June of 1999) and immediately moved into a 2-bedroom apartment with the friend who convinced me to pick up and move 2,000 miles away to a place where I knew no one. Only four months after we arrived to this new city, we up and moved to a house closer to the beach. Two months later, my friend got an itch and moved to Oregon, shaved her head and worked at the park where she got paid to snowboard. Yeah, I was a little jealous.

At that time, I found a tiny studio apartment one block from the beach and settled into my first apartment of my very own. I liked that little place, even though it was pretty tiny. It was perfect for me and I loved the fact that I didn’t need a car to get by. My beachcruiser was all I needed to get to work and back, the bar and back (sometimes not as safely as other times), or to and from the grocery store.

I met my ex-husband not long afterward and soon (perhaps too quickly) we moved into a 1-bedroom apartment right across the street, which meant we were even closer to the beach. We lasted there for a few years, in fact, we got married and became pregnant before buying the 2-bedroom condo where my son and I still live.

When my ex-husband moved out, I stayed. My son and I have been here ever since and even though I’m dying to move into a place of my very own, the move that ended up being the scratch for my itch was the transfer of this blog. No longer on Blogger and with a fresh, green (is the new black) design, I feel as though this is the fresh start that I will have to get used to for now.

I am still searching for a new place to live that is affordable, conveniently located in relation to my son’s school and ideally, bigger than the place where we’re currently residing.

If you’ve been reading my blog over at the old site, please let me know what changes you’d like to see now that I’m here. What do you miss about the other site? What would you like to see on this new one? Now’s your chance to help create this page and help me continue to make this place be a site where parents come for insight, entertainment and resources. 

Thanks so much for sticking with me. I wouldn’t be here without you.

Spring Cleaning

I am always changing my image. If you saw me on a regular basis, you’d see me one day in my casual beach clothes, flip-flops and shorts, tank tops or tee. The next day you might see me in business attire, glasses and high heels. Some may even recognize me in my work out clothes, heading to the gym for a session with my trainer. And still there are those who have seen me a little more trendy, wearing a cute skirt and adorable top, an outfit typically reserved for a first date.

My point in all of this is that I like change. Too many times I have found myself stuck in a routine that makes me feel trapped, and while my blog has been quite popular (950 + unique visitors per month), I feel it’s time to move on.

So, starting this week, I’m blogging over at a new site. Everything’s been imported already, so if you head on over to the new URL, you’ll be able to read all of my posts from the last 18 months but you’ll also discover a new look, which may take some getting used to, by both myself and my readers.

Head on over and please leave a comment so that I know who’s reading and that you found me!

Here’s to a fresh start.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

What Moms Really Think about Grandparents!

A few months back I was asked to provide input for an article that Susan Avery was putting together for Grandparents.com. She asked for my opinion on whether or not my mom or mother-in-law interferes or if I could offer some general advice for grandparents.

I was happy to share my two cents, which appears in her slide show, along with over a dozen other suggestions from some pretty amazing Mommy Bloggers.

Here’s a list of the bloggers who are included in the slide show and whom I am honored to be listed alongside:

• Tara Mandy from Stroller Traffic
• Michelle Little from One Chic Mama
• Valerie Gray from Mom Knows it All
• Ada Calhoun from Babble
• Sue Waite-Langley from Creative Tutors
• Kimberly Coleman from Mom in the City
• Ashley Sanders from Boss Sanders
• Cheryl Lage from Twinfatuation
• Deb Steenhagen from Mom of 3 Girls
• Diane Kidman from dk Mommy Spot
• Jennifer Singer from Momma Said
• Glennia Campbell from The Silent T
• Debbie Arora from Missives from Suburbia
• Anna Fader from Mommy Poppins
• Dawn Yun from The Writing Mamas Salon
• Carissa Rogers from Good N Crazy
• Jill Smokler from Scary Mommy
• Kim Kotecki from Kim & Jason Escape Adulthood
• Jo-Lynne Shane from Musings of a Housewife
• Debbie Abrams Kaplan from frisco kids
• Holli Gould from Life is What You Make It
• Maggie Cheung from Mighty Maggie
• Michele Dortch from The Integrated Mother
• Heather L. Sanders from Oh My Stinkin Heck
  

Some highlights from the advice to grandparents (in my opinion):

Don’t poo-poo your kid’s parenting rules, especially when it comes to safety. While you likely did a fine job raising children without such modern gadgets as car seats, door gates, and electrical outlet covers, your kids are relying on solid modern data — and in some cases, laws — to make their safety decisions. And frankly, they’re just trying to do what they think is right for your grandchildren.

The grandparents want to send cash in an envelope for a 7-year-old’s birthday. This is like a non-gift to a kid. Instead? Schedule an afternoon, just grandma and granddaughter. Go get a milk shake. Nothing else. Just time.

Grandparents, be young again with your grandkids. Get on the floor and roll around with them, even if you need help getting back up. If you’re in a wheelchair, take them for rides! You don’t have to spend a lot of money to make memories. Play checkers. Bake cookies. Go fishing. Read stories. Dress up. Catch fireflies. Eat ice cream. Let your grandkids see the silliest parts of you.

All I really want from you is the opportunity to nap. Just come over, take control of your grandchildren and send me to my room. That’s truly all I want from you.

Now, my advice to you, after reading this: Go call your grandparents.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Honoring Mother Earth

I sent out the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting News You Can Use earlier today in which I discussed ways in which people are honoring Earth Day.

My son’s pre-kindergarten classroom has taken on the challenge of not using electricity for a total of 24 hours (both at home and in school). This is quite a challenge, since parents were asked to send food that didn’t require the microwave and during peaceful time when they typically listen to soothing music, they’re now resting in total silence. And yes, their classroom has moved to the outdoors since they can’t do as much inside without lights!

At home tonight, the TV will remain off but the biggest challenge I see – for both my son and I – is the use of our computers. Technology has evolved to the point where I truly rely on my laptop for pretty much everything (that my iPhone cannot do). My son enjoys playing games on the computer, whether it’s online at Hot Wheels.com, NickJr.com or using Garage Band to create music, which means we’ll pull out board games and head outside to enjoy nature.

Another challenge for me,with the heat being near the 80s today, is the idea of sitting inside without the use of fans or air conditioning. If nothing else, this challenge has made me more aware of how reliant we are on electricity to simply get through our day. The highlight for me though has to be the idea of not cooking since I’d have to use the stove for that!

How is your family honoring Mother Earth today – and every day?

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Tea Collection for babies and toddlers

With the tea parties going on around the country yesterday, I couldn’t help but think of Tea Collection Children’s Clothing, an amazing line of clothing for young people that has me wishing they created clothes in my size!

Check out this designer couture for little citizens of the world.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Children with Special Needs

Working with families and getting to know children and parents personally has allowed me the opportunity to truly see how different each and every one of us truly are.

Snowflakes, fingerprints and yes, people are so unique and diverse that I find pleasure in observing others and witnessing the wonderful and dynamic individuals who will be the leaders and pioneers of the next generation.

Because every child is different, I have always felt that each child has special needs that need to be acknowledged and addressed. I’m not talking about children with developmental or physical challenges that require specialized care. I’m simply referring to the fact that parents, educators and anyone dealing with children on a regular basis really needs to understand the child and validate who they are, as we are all created equal, and perfectly.

No two children are exactly alike, as anyone with more than one child will confirm. Even those with twins – both fraternal and identical – will appreciate the distinct differences that make each child their own person. Our job as their role models and support system is to honor those differences, allow children to make healthy choices that not only encourage their independence, but their creativity and curiosity.

As a parent coach and parent educator, I work with families to be able to truly “see” their children and to provide suggestions and ideas for them to feed their children in ways that will increase their energy, instead of diminish it. I advise moms and dads about ways in which they may be putting false expectations on their child – or themselves – based on the accomplishments, goals or desires of another.

To begin to see ourselves and our children for who we really are is one of the greatest gifts we can provide for ourselves and our loved ones. Through parenting courses and working one-on-one with families, let’s discuss the special needs of your child and how we can begin to make life less stressful and create more peace in our home.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home