Archive for March, 2009

Beautiful You

by Steve Goodier

We place great emphasis on a narrow idea of physical beauty. In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how, throughout history, the concept of “beauty” changes with time. “For example,” he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five-foot-one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and sported a 30-inch bust, a 25-inch waist and 32-inch hips. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.” “Why is that?” asked the professor. “For one thing,” the student pointed out, “she’d be way too old.”

Good point – she’d be way too old. But beauty is a peculiar thing, for it means something a little different to each of us. And it isn’t always about appearance. Sometimes beauty is a quality that softly shines from inner depths. And you may actually radiate more inner beauty than you realize.

An elderly woman noticed that her granddaughter felt embarrassed by her freckles. “I love your freckles,” she said, kneeling beside the girl and admiring her face. “Not me,” the child replied. “Well, when I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,” the grandmother said, tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful.” The girl looked up, “Really?” “Of course,” said her grandmother. “Why just name one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”

The little girl peered into the old woman’s smiling face, aglow with kindness and love. “Wrinkles,” she answered softly.

The physical beauty of youth will fade. But the beauty of a spirit, when nurtured, can grow forever.

Become Your Own Matchmaker

The other night, I caught a marathon of the Millionaire Matchmaker, which is one of the best shows out there. Bravo hosts some great TV, from the Flippin’ Out crew to the Real Housewives of NYC, Orange County and Atlanta, but Patti Stanger is my personal favorite. I couldn’t wait to get to the bookstore today to pick up her new book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, which she co-wrote with Lisa Johnson Mandell.

Without giving away too much of the book, I do want to share some great quotes that I pulled from Stanger. She’s a very successful, beautiful and smart individual. Listen up!

“As soon as you say, ‘I’m not going to date for a while,’ the bus unloads. Don’t go out with them, but make sure you take reservations. Remember, the best restaurants are booked weeks in advance, why not you? You’re worth waiting for.”

“Think of yourself as a great wine – you’re only getting better and more valuable with age. When the right occasion comes along and that wine is uncorked, it will be the best, most delicious nectar the lucky partaker has ever experienced. But that will only happen if happiness is a major ingredient.”

“If you feel sexy, you’re more inclined to look sexy. Sexy is a confident, fun loving, happy, sensuous, approachable state of mind that no man can resist.”

“Don’t think of him as the prize for which you’re competing against hundreds of other women. YOU are the prize, and HE needs to please you just as much as you need to please him.”

Happy Dating!

She Said Yes!

Did you see it? Online readers had the opportunity to witness the live (somewhat) proposal between The Boy and Mommy Pie. She said yes, of course, and followed up on her own blog the following day. Now is the time for us to share exciting proposal stories, offer relationship advice or simply send love to the happy couple.

My ex-husband (aka Mr. X) and I have created some interesting memories together, from our honeymoon in Venice (when a piece of the glass chandelier fell onto our bed in the middle of the night) to our camping trip to Mexico when he proposed.

At the time, Mr. X drove a VW Jetta. It had over a zillion miles on it and was banged up a little bit with several rust spots. It was the perfect car for driving across the border. I had no idea where we were headed, but we had our sleeping bags and a tent with us, along with our warm clothes, his expensive camera and tripod and food to last for the weekend so I knew we were going to have an exciting adventure and romantic time together.

We drove for quite a long time once we reached Mexico and I began to worry that we might be lost when I asked Mr. X if he knew where we were going. He said that directions he got from one of his surfer friends was to take a Left when you see the hand-written sign for “La Playa.”

I looked at him to see if he was joking, but when I realized he was completely serious, we drove in silence as the two of us paid close attention to the dirt roads to find the sign. We did find it, and after driving onto a road that was full of speed bumps made of dirt, testing the shocks of the Jetta, nearly banging our heads on the roof with every dip we hit, we finally approached a wooden building where an old man came out and asked us for money to continue down the road.

We gave the man a few dollars to enter “The Beach,” although we were heading down a dirt road that didn’t look much like a beach to me. We continued downhill, around corners, driving past cactuses and kicking up dirt behind us as we drove about 5 miles an hour for at least a mile and a half. The road curved around to the left and suddenly, the ocean opened up in front of us and a cliff with a large parking lot was in front of us where we parked, made room for our tent and had a private beach, entirely to ourselves.

We set up our tent, got into our bathing suits and followed the dirt path to the edge of the cliff where we found a thick rope which we were able to hold onto as we lowered ourselves down to the beach below.

The water was cold, but there was no one around and with the beautiful background and romantic mood we were in, we ended up having a sexy photo shoot where I ended up taking off my clothes and posing on the sand in front of the large rocks, something I thought I’d never find myself doing. I also never expected to be interrupted by a family with kids running down the beach towards us as I frantically tried to cover myself.

Later that afternoon, we went for a hike to the outer edges of the cliffs, through the cactus trails and heading up the hills and back down. At one point, Mr. X slipped and fell, landing right on top of a cactus, leaving spikes in his rear end that I had to pull out as he complained about the pain. I tried not to laugh but it was truly the funniest thing that has ever happened to me on a romantic getaway (this was before the Italian chandelier incident).

That evening, as the sun was starting to set, we started a bonfire on the cliff, set up our tent and prepared our meal which was pretty hard to do considering the fact that Mr. X neglected to pack anything to start a fire with. A group of surfers showed up that afternoon and parked a bit further down so luckily we were able to borrow a lighter from them!

We had a long and exciting day, walking, hiking, making love and enjoying the beautiful view and fresh air. When it got dark, it was pitch black. I was exhausted so I started to get myself ready for bed, realizing that I needed to wear every single item of clothing I packed since it was getting pretty cold.

I crawled into the tent, changed into some warm clothes, removed my contact lenses and laid down, waiting for Mr. X to join me. He knelt down leaning into the tent, looking for his sweatshirt which he couldn’t find. He asked me to reach down by my feet to find it, so I sat up, handed him his sweatshirt and laid back down.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, Mr. X said he had something to show me. I sat up to see him holding open the ring case as he asked me to be his wife. I immediately started to cry and – because I didn’t have my contacts in any longer – couldn’t even see the ring! Between my tears and the sparkle of the diamonds, I took a deep breath and reached for my glasses so I could see him and the beautiful engagement ring that he was presenting me with.


I was in shock, speechless, and so overwhelmed. I, of course, said yes, and fell asleep that night with a huge smile on my face.

Of course, the story doesn’t end there. Sometime while we were sleeping, the wind picked up pretty hard and started shaking the top of our tent pretty badly. We woke up cold, annoyed and unable to sleep through the howling wind and the fact that our tent was just about ready to collapse on top of us.

It was an eventful weekend, one that I will never forget and despite the fact that our marriage didn’t work out, it still makes me smile to think about since he is a huge part of my life – and always will be.

Having a child together changes everything. Someday, when our son gets married and has kids, Mr. X and I will be there to watch it all unfold, adding more amazing memories to our history books and once again, falling asleep smiling.

Ditching Mr. Wrong

If you’re a single woman looking for a lifelong partner, time is precious. If you want to have children, you have a biological deadline and a lot at stake in finding a suitable man. Even if you don’t want kids, who wants to waste time on the journey toward a happy and lasting relationship? Yet too many smart women spend months or even years dating men who are clearly wrong for them.


Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right, a new book by Nicholas Aretakis, is for them. Based on interviews with hundreds of singles about relationships and the dating game, Ditching Mr. Wrong is a wake-up call for women who are ready to take a hard look at their relationships and get rid of boyfriends who will never be Mr. Right.

When you buy Ditching Mr. Wrong between March 25th and March 28th, 2009 from the link below, you will get it at a great discount and receive many gifts and bonuses with it, such as the chance to purchase Nicholas Aretakis’s other book, No More Ramen: The 20-Something’s Real World Survival Guide: Straight Talk on Jobs, Money, Balance, Life, and More, at half-price, exclusive excerpts and downloadable copies of books. Your purchase will automatically enter you into a drawing to win one of 11 books from renowned authors. Remember, this offer is good only for four days!

VIEW THE PAGE, BUY THE BOOK AND CLAIM YOUR GIFTS!

http://rebeccasreads.com/eParties/BookLaunchAretakisDitchingMrWrong.html

From the Rebeccas Reads review of Ditching Mr. Wrong, by Kam Aures:

“I really believe that “Ditching Mr. Wrong” would be a beneficial read to anyone who is having difficulty in finding “Mr. Right.” Aretakis’s book is fun to read, and the advice given is sound. The information is presented in a clear, straightforward manner, and I think that all single women out there will find very helpful in aiding their relationship decisions.”

Giveaway: Professional Cookware Set

Food Service Warehouse is giving away a professional cookware set worth $1,000 as part of introducing their new expanded lines of professional cookware. This cookware is tough, high quality cookware used by top restaurant kitchens throughout the country and cookware would be a great addition for any serious home chef.

There is no obligation, just go to the website and enter their professional cookware contest.

National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month and it’s just around the corner! My good blogger friend, Greg Pincus, over at Gotta Book, has put together a wonderful schedule of events to celebrate this annual event and month-long celebration.
In his own words, here’s what he’ll be showcasing on his blog throughout the month of April:
I’m incredibly excited to announce the first annual 30 Poets/30 Days, a celebration of children’s poetry taking place at GottaBook during National Poetry Month.


Every day in April, I’ll be posting a previously unpublished poem by a different poet. Here’s the alphabetical list of who’s participating:

Arnold Adoff, Jaime Adoff, Rebecca Kai Dotlich, Douglas Florian, Betsy Franco, Kristine O’Connell George, Charles Ghigna, Nikki Giovanni, Joan Bransfield Graham, Nikki Grimes, Mary Ann Hoberman, Lee Bennett Hopkins, X. J. Kennedy, Julie Larios, J. Patrick Lewis, Pat Mora, Kenn Nesbitt, Linda Sue Park, Ann Whitford Paul, Gregory K. Pincus, Jack Prelutsky, Adam Rex, Jon Scieszka, Joyce Sidman, Marilyn Singer, April Halprin Wayland, Janet Wong, and Jane Yolen.

We’ll launch on Tuesday, April 1, with former Children’s Poet Laureate Jack Prelutsky’s “A Little Poem for Poetry Month.” We’ll end April 30th with “Books & Me” by Pat Mora to help celebrate El día de los niños/El día de los libros (Children’s Day/Book Day). And every day in between will bring something new. You can follow along here and via @30poets30days on Twitter.

There will also be a lot of other poetry related fun going on in the kidlitosphere during April, including

- at the Miss Rumphius Effect, Tricia has a cool series called Poetry Makers, with a highlight being interviews with 36 (!!!) poets.
- at Poetry For Children, Sylvia Vardell will be reviewing a new children’s poetry book every day;
- at the Pencil Talk blog, Anastasia Suen will be collecting school poems written by children throughout April… and posting one each day.
- and of course there’s Poetry Friday and much, much more, so look for updates all month long.

I want to thank all the poets for their generosity and enthusiasm, and I particularly want to single out J. Patrick Lewis and Kenn Nesbitt for going above and beyond the call in helping me put this event together. Also, special thanks to my brother Jon and all the folks who’ve given me ideas and support along the way. If there has been any frustration in organizing this event at all, it’s only that there are so many other wonderfully talented people writing poetry for kids and it was hard not to invite them all. But that’s why I plan to make this an annual celebration.

Welcome to the Party!

It’s Sunday night. Do you know where your parents are? Well, if you’re under the age of 12, chances are – your parents are online and visiting some pretty cool blogs that are participating in this year’s Ultimate Blog Party.

So far, I’ve been introduced to some pretty amazing bloggers and I’ve only just begun dipping into the long list of active bloggers in this year’s fabulous event, hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom.

If this is your first time visiting here, Welcome! Let me introduce myself quickly so you can determine whether or not you and I have anything in common (chances are, you’ll agree with at least one of the following statements):

  • I’m a single mom
  • I’m a Certified Parent Educator, Life Coach & Marketing Professional
  • I was laid off less than three months ago
  • I’m mother to a beautiful 5-year-old boy
  • I get along well with my ex-husband and talk to him more often than anyone else in my address book
  • I write for pennies but find the connections I’ve made online priceless
  • I live in San Diego
  • I grew up in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis / St. Paul)
  • I am in a long-distance relationship that adds adventure to my life
  • I have one sister
  • I have two parents
  • I live in a condo that is too small and that I own with my ex-husband
  • I drive a mini-van that I drive too fast and don’t clean often enough
  • I send my son to a private school where he calls his teachers by their first names
  • I like my music loud, my men dark, my coffee black and my food spicy
  • I enjoy running and other self-inflicting hobbies like collecting tattoos
  • I love traveling, reading, writing, laughing, and spending time with friends
  • I enjoy beer, wine and other fine spirits
  • I wear glasses, have a rare disease (and one common one) but speak only one language
  • I’m pleased to meet you

If you’re a regular, Welcome back! Grab a drink and be sure to comment on this, or any other post that catches your attention. Here are the most popular posts, to date:

  1. For Those who Give a Tweet – my post about my experience with The Four Man Plan, and what happened when implementing this plan into my dating life.
  2. Giveaway – Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult – the most current giveaway
  3. The Wicked Witch of the West – blog post devoted to the Witch Fires in San Diego County (October 2007)
  4. Must Love Kids on TLC – my 2 cents on the dating reality show for single moms
  5. Meet N Greet – an experience with eHarmony that still embarrasses me
  6. Tattooed Moms – answering the #1 question about the tattoo on my chest
  7. Book Review: The Five Love Languages – a highly recommended book that will add new life to your relationship
  8. ABC Kids Expo – follow up to the annual event featuring modern, trendy & unique gifts for babies and expecting parents
  9. Words of Wisdom – for women of all ages
  10. Daddy Bloggers – sharing the love with the other half

Now that you’re here, put your feet up, stay awhile, have a look around and come back often.

Cheers!

Friends with Benefits

I’ve been enjoying the single life for several years now but I do miss being in a relationship and just last night, and this morning, I was reminded of the many things I miss about having a man in my life:
  • Having someone to open jars for me
  • Having someone to put my necklace on
  • Someone to protect me from crazy drunk people when walking downtown on a Saturday night
  • Someone to cuddle up on the couch with on movie night
  • Someone to start the coffee for me and bring me a hot cup while I’m still in bed
  • Having someone to negotiate high-priced items & services, such as major car repairs or electronics
  • Having someone to hold the door open for me or place his hand on the small of my back while walking through a crowd
  • Someone to drag me to action films so I can have a different perspective on what a good movie really is
  • Having someone at home waiting for me when I get home after a long day
  • Someone to fall asleep next to and wake up with each morning
  • Having someone to cook for (who’s not requesting mac & cheese for every meal)
  • Having someone hand me a dry towel when there’s not one there when I reach for one after my morning shower
  • Finding hair in the sink to remind me how lucky I am that I don’t have that daily task to worry about
  • Someone who calls me before I get home to ask me to pick up something for him on the way
  • Having someone pump my gas for me and take out the garbage
  • Having someone buy me flowers and leave notes for me to find
  • Having someone to shop for on Valentine’s Day and to pick up little surprises for on any day
  • Having a second family to spend holidays and weekends with
  • Having someone who shares bites of his steak with me
  • Having someone to discuss the daily news with
  • Someone who appreciates the little things that make a couple complete
  • Having someone to share inside jokes with
  • Someone who can communicate with me without having to say a word

What do you miss about being in a relationship? What do you enjoy about the relationship you’re in currently? Be sure to acknowledge your partner for being there for you and ask him what it is about you that puts a smile to his face.

Giveaway: Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult

Jodi Picoult is a prolific writer who does a great deal of research on the often-controversial subjects she deals with in her novels.

First introduced to me with The Pact: A Love Story, Jodi quickly became my favorite author and has not let me down, publishing a new book every year. All of her books are written with unbelievable depth and feature characters who are very well developed and who readers can easily relate to or identify with.

My personal favorite from her long list of titles has to be Nineteen Minutes, a book I could not put down once I started reading it and have since recommended to every parent and teacher that I know or come across.

I recently finished Change of Heart in less than 24 hours so that I could get started on her latest title, Handle with Care. I was excited to get her newest book when it arrived, but I was even more surprised when I received a second copy (that I had apparently pre-ordered months ago and had forgotten about). I am now offering this second copy as a giveaway here on this blog!


To be eligible, simply leave a comment here with your favorite Jodi Picoult book and why it is your personal favorite. If you haven’t had the opportunity to read one of her books yet, let us know who your favorite author is or how you first heard of this giveaway. The winner will be chosen at random on April 1st (no April Fool’s jokes here). Open to U.S. residents only.

Good luck and Happy Reading!

Shameless Self-Promotion

I contacted the San Diego Women’s Business Examiner a few days ago to see if she would critique my weekly newsletter. She had written an article on Marketing with Newsletters that prompted my request.

Her feedback was positive and encouraging.

Regarding your newsletter, it has a fresh, happy, welcoming feeling.

The articles are very easy to read, not long, but straight to the point and informative. Very interesting that they download as a pdf file so that you can go back and read them again.

The links are very nice. What a great collection.

Great idea to have the calendar link to meetup.”

She also asked if I would be available for an interview. I’m honored to have been selected to share and promote my services with her readers.

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