Archive for October, 2008
31
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in 2008 election, california, discrimination, divorce, marriage, Prop 8, same-sex couples, tolerance. Leave a Comment
Campaign ads in California regarding Prop 8 reveal two startling different ideas. When people are confronted with two opposing viewpoints, how are they able to make an informed decision?
About a month ago, an ad paid for by those in support of Proposition 8 started airing on TV which used the images of several young children without their parents’ permission. Jen Press whose daughter, Lucy, is prominently featured in the political ad had this to say:
To turn around and distort images of our children is outrageous. We’re opposed to Prop 8, but irrespective of our position, it’s wrong to use any image of children without their parents’ permission. And we think every parent in California would agree with us.
I’d go a step further and say that every parent in the United States would agree, and probably those from all over the world. Any organization who would use children to manipulate voters and distort information should not be supported by parents, or anyone who cares about children, regardless of the religious or political beliefs one holds.
Proposition 8 is not about children and what exactly does it have to do with protecting marriage? Currently, marriage is “in jeopardy” with the rising divorce rates that do affect children.
One woman, a 82-year-old political blogger and grandmother, Helen, could not have explained this money-wasting proposition any better:
I really don’t know why gay people want to get married. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Just ask Harold. But I guess if one consenting adult wants to declare their love for another, why would anyone have an issue? I do know one gay couple. Margaret’s nephew and his friend have been together for several years. They are a lovely couple and make me laugh and feel special every time I see them. A couple of years ago Texas passed one of these constitutional amendments. The place where Harold and I go to vote is actually an elementary school in the neighborhood. On that particular election day I was appalled to see all the signs that said “Marriage Should Be Between a Man and Woman Only”. As Harold drove us into the parking lot to vote, I looked out the window at those signs and realized that many parents had driven their kids to school that morning driving past those very signs. I wonder if any of them had the same reaction I did – those signs reminded me of the little signs we used to have back in the day that said “Whites Only”. Think about it.
I don’t have to think about. Already I know that eliminating fundamental rights to anyone goes against the beliefs that this country was founded upon.
Nothing is more powerful than two people promising their loyalty and devotion to one another, no matter what gender they may be. Teaching children that love and commitment between same sex couples is not the same (or as important) as it is between those of the opposite sex is sending a message that is unfair and wrong. It is discrimination that we should not tolerate.
31
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in costumes, exploiting children, Halloween, I'm too sexy for this shirt. 2 Comments
Looking for Halloween costumes for myself only reminded me of how sexual our culture really is. Women are depicted on an average day as objects to be desired. October 31st is certainly no exception.
Women who are otherwise covered up can be found wearing provocative clothing on Halloween night, revealing their cleavage or sporting skirts that are dangerously short. For some, this is a costume-required holiday that is a chance for them to wear as little as possible.
Halloween night is definitely going to be a “treat” for anyone heading out on the town for this adult version of dress-up. This annual event is used as an excuse for certain people to get drunk and to be obnoxious. It’s only once a year – or at least that’s what their excuse will be if – or when – things get out of control.
Sexy Halloween costumes seem to be the norm these days – for women – and as a parent, I can’t help but wonder what sort of messages are being sent to children who not only see these outfits displayed in ads and on websites but that are being marketed to younger girls each year.
Children are wearing costumes these days that my parents would never let me leave the house in. Many costumes, like the image below of Anna Rexia (as in Anorexia), are offensive and inappropriate on so many levels.
How do you feel about sexy Halloween costumes? How long will it be before kids start picking out ensembles that you would only expect to see on a responsible adult? At what age do children stop getting dressed up and knock on doors to get candy? And how old is too old for trick-or-treating?
29
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in 2008 election, ePals, Halloween, HHH, holiday gift guide, holiday party, international, parenting news you can use, parenting party, PenPals. Leave a Comment
It’s the end of October and the start of a holiday season that begins with the 2008 Presidential Election. Whether you’re looking for ways to explain the election process to a child, or want to learn more about the candidates’ positions from a non-partisan source, ePals will have the answers you need. You can also use this resource as a way to connect children with a PenPal from another country and introduce them to another culture or community.
Happy Healthy Hip Parenting is pleased to share with you an opportunity for growth and possibility for the New Year. 2009 is right around the corner and I want to thank you for being so supportive of one another and yourselves as a parent, business owner, or whatever role you choose to define yourself with.
Our community has grown over the last year, allowing me to evolve into the new technology of this new email program. This will allow me to better serve you and will provide you with the opportunity to customize the information you receive from me.
Please take a moment to manage your preferences or unsubscribe if you should no longer wish to receive correspondence from me. I do hope you prefer to continue to receive blog posts, Parenting News and event announcements directly to your Inbox each and every week.
In the next few weeks I will be sending out a Holiday Gift Guide as well as an invitation to an annual Happy Healthy Hip Holiday Party which I hope you will each be able to support by either attending or sponsoring.
If you attended the Parenting Party in May then you’ll know that these events are a great way to meet and mingle with other parents, along with the chance to walk away with some great prizes. It would be great to have a sell-out event which would send a message to San Diego that the parents in our community work together and play together! Tickets will go on sale soon.
Have a safe and wonderful Halloween weekend and let me know what I can do to support you.
26
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in bouquet toss, emotional cleansing, ex-husband, love, luck, marriage, psychology, relationships, weddings. 3 Comments
Before I was married, I used to dread that part of the wedding reception when the single women would be called up to try to catch the bride’s bouquet. I’d hesitate before standing up and slowly make my way to the back of the line.
Suddenly, now that I’m single (again) and older, I’m ready. I want it to be known that I’m single and ready to find Mr. Right.
I’ve been to two weddings in the last few weeks and made a point of being one of the first women to make her way up to the dance floor. I’ve even pushed my way to the front and reminded the brides to throw it my way.
Apparently, being open to catching a bouquet is not enough. I bawled my eyes out at the last wedding I attended. My best friend from high school got married and it was so amazing to see her up there among friends and family that I’ve known through her.
I met my best friend during our Freshman year of high school. She was shy. I was assigned to work with her on a class project and we’ve been friends ever since. Knowing her for over half of our lives allowed us both the privilege of being there to witness each other’s ups and downs and in on each other’s secrets and details of our past relationships.
During one of my (many) states of depression, she came to San Diego to spend the week with me. We did nothing but lay on the beach, party and sleep. It was amazing and it just proved to me that my friend would be there for me, whenever I needed her.
But where was she this past weekend? I don’t think she understood the psychological elements involved in my desire to catch the bouquet. It was devastating enough that I was a “party of one” for both weddings and I now, I have nothing to show for it, no souvenirs to prove that I made it through yet another wedding without someone asking me when it’d be my turn.
Since I don’t have any other weddings to look forward to, I need to think of what else I can do to ensure my luck in love and relationships. Perhaps I should go and have my palm read, or do a seance that will clear my home of any negative energy that might be left behind from my ex-husband.
Yes, many people are astonished by the fact that I still live in the same home that I shared with my husband. In fact, our house is still in his name (and mine). Perhaps it’s time for a little emotional cleansing…and a change of paint color.
22
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in Art of Manliness, cold hard cash, contest, guest blogger, Man of the Year, Old Spice. Leave a Comment
Before I share this guest post from Brett, of The Art of Manliness, I just have to put in my two cents. For those of us who aren’t married, you can surely think of someone (like your dad, or brother, maybe) that might be worthy of Man of the Year?
Ladies, have you ever wanted to let the whole world know how amazing your husband is? Well, now you can. The Art of Manliness has teamed up with Old Spice to find The Art of Manliness Man of the Year. Most magazines and websites seem to pick celebrities and sports stars as the man of the year, and fail to recognize the regular Joe who’s doing his best to be the best husband, father, and man he can be. The Art of Manliness wants to change that.
Our goal is to find a man who represents what’s best in men and give him $2,000 in cold hard cash. From October 20, 2008 until November 9, 2008, Art of Manliness will be accepting nominations for Man of the Year.
This is your chance to brag about your man and give him the chance to win $2,000 (which of course he’ll share with you). To nominate, go to this online form and fill out. You’ll need to write a short essay about why you think your man should be The Art of Manliness Man of the Year. Tell us about how your husband is great with kids, how he can cook a killer dinner, and how he helps out those in need. Your husband doesn’t have to be some Superman who’s cured AIDS to be considered for Man of the Year. If you think your husband possess the traits of honorable manliness, we want to hear about him.
We’ll then select 10 finalists out of all the nominees. On November 24, 2008 we’ll open voting to the public on the 10 finalists. Whoever has the most votes by December 13, 2008 will be crowned The Art of Manliness Man of the Year 2008 and win the $2,000.
If you want your husband to even have a chance at being named Man of the Year, you have to nominate him. And remember, there’s $2,000 up for grabs! Don’t just stand by your man, brag about him. Send in your nomination today!
22
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in dating advice, eHarmony, humor, laughter, online dating, photography, please don't take me seriously. 1 Comment
Alright, I realize that this is going to come off as me being petty and will most likely offend some of you, especially those who have a profile online, but I have to share.
This isn’t about me making fun of anyone in particular (alright, it is), but after ignoring my eHarmony profile for over a week, I finally went over there to check out my latest matches and guess what?
There were over 210 matches waiting for me…and not one single profile caught my attention, except for the fact that I suddenly started talking to the people (by name) in the photos and actually taking notes (yes, taking notes).
Here is what I have learned from the profile pictures that came up on my screen and here’s what I would suggest to everyone (male or female) who plans on putting their pictures online (or who has done so already).
- Don’t upload a mirror shot: You know what they look like. You can actually SEE the camera and sometimes a flash…Get someone to take your photo. Anyone. A neighbor, your mom, the guy at the pharmacy who thinks he’s taking your passport photo. Better yet, go in one of those photo booths that gives you four chances to get it right.
- Don’t include a picture from last Halloween: A potential date is not interested in how you look in disguise. She or he wants to see what YOU look like. On a normal day.
- Don’t include pictures from the bar: You know the one. You have a beer in your hand and you look laid-back and appear to be someone who knows how to have a good time. What this says to people is, “I like taking photos when I’m under the influence. Wait ’til you see what I look like when I’m WASTED!” Not a good message to be sending…
- Please, please, please don’t include your children (or anyone else’s) in your main profile pic: I have a child and I love kids, but the first impression you give when you include children in your main photo is “I’m looking for a new Mom (or Dad) for these adorable kids.” Usually, the kids are the first thing people see, not you.
- Please put a shirt on: I really can’t comprehend why people include photos where they’re not wearing a shirt. Usually, when that happens, it’s not flattering. No one wants to see you with your shirt off unless you’re at the beach, and you’re a Chippendale dancer.
- Please remove your hat – and your sunglasses: Again, please refer to #2. A potential partner wants to see what you look like – eyes, hair – or whether you have any underneath the cap.
- Don’t upload a work photo: I can’t even tell you how many doctors I’ve seen in their scrubs, firefighters I’ve seen with fires blazing in the background and military men in their uniforms. This all leads back to wanting to see what a potential date looks like outside the office (or place of employment).
- Please include a photo where you actually look happy to be alive: I’ve seen way too many photos of people who can’t seem to crack a smile. Pretend you like yourself. Then maybe other people will.
- Don’t include photos that look like they’re ‘still shots’ from your sex tapes: You know the one – the shirtless, awkward angle and expression on the person’s face = CREEPY.
- Please don’t include major close ups: They’re never attractive and typically look like the WANTED posters from the nightly news.
- If you’re in the military, don’t upload photos of you in your camo: You look like every other guy in camo…potential partners want to see what YOU look like, not what you look like when you’re ready to head into battle…Unless you approach dating defensively, then I suppose it’s OK.
- Please do not post photos of yourself EATING (Yes, I did come across this one): Photos of you with your mouth full. Not going to earn any points with the women I know (let’s face it, women would NEVER post a photo of themselves eating).
- College students / military men – Please don’t include your photos that showcase the nudey pictures on the wall behind you in your dorm room or on base: The women who view these photos will not see you, but the pics behind you. And that’s probably not going to get you a date. But, then again, you never know.
- Please don’t include photos of you and your friends: Petty, I realize, but if I see a photo with a bunch of guys, I’m checking out the hottest one of the group, and chances are, it’s not the one who’s looking for a date.
- Don’t include photos where you’re in full scuba gear: So you like to go diving. Great. Why do I want to see a photo of you underwater, with a full wet suit on and a mask covering your ENTIRE face? I want to see what you look like. This photo only tells me what you like to DO.
- Last, but certainly not least, please don’t submit your profile to an online dating site WITHOUT a picture. I realize that the above “suggestions” might cause someone to want to pursue the online dating thing with just their personality to get them by. It WON’T happen. We all want to SEE what we’re getting into and – as long as the above suggestions are applied – you may have some dating success (of course there are no guarantees).
Good luck. And if you see my profile on line, don’t worry. The photos of me wearing a hat and glasses, alongside my son and in our Halloween costumes will be removed soon. I pinkie swear.
21
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in Cathy Northcutt, life coach, parent education, success. 2 Comments
You’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you! And you’re absolutely right! In order to discover your true desire, your life’s purpose, your strengths – and weaknesses – take the time to answer some questions that will have you looking at yourself in a whole new way.
The following questions are just a sample of those that can be found on the site of Life Success Coach (and my dear friend) Cathy Northcutt.
Who Are You?
What Are Your Visions?
What’s Your Passion?
What’s Draining You?
You – as a Mother or Father
You – as a Professional
You – as a Leader
You – as a Salesperson
Cathy has helped me gain insight on my career, my relationships and my value as a parent educator / coach, friend and mother. She supports those who are open to her suggestions, advice and warm, honest opinions that not only encourage you to be the best you can be, but inspire you reach out and support those around you.
I owe much of my success to many wonderful women in my life. Cathy is just one of them. You’ll hear more from her and about her in the months to come.
Join Cathy tonight for her monthly Nurturning Mother Telegathering, at 9pm (PST). Email Cathy directly to RSVP for tonight’s call.
20
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in balance, mommy bloggers, PhD in Parenting, SuperMom, Woman of the Year, WonderWife. Leave a Comment
As working parents (we’re all working parents) we’re always seeking balance, between our role as Mom or Dad, jobs that pay our bills and of course, time with ourselves or our partners. Let’s not even talk about our house (which tends to be the last on my list of priorities).
Many mommy bloggers have written about seeking this balance and the guilt one feels when taking time for herself or any time away from her children. The women’s movement was intended to move us all forward, but instead, I feel as though it’s instilled in each of us the idea that we need to be – or at least strive to be – SuperMom, WonderWife and Woman of the Year. Talk about pressure.
I spend quality time with my son, I work hard and take time for myself and enjoy those special moments with other adults. Do I feel guilty? I used to. These days, I find myself being more relaxed, less stressed and overall, more fulfilled when I don’t let the guilt take over. It’s there on some occasions but I simply remind myself that I’m a much better mom when I’ve taken that time for myself, whether it’s exercising, reading, or spending the weekend with friends.
Head on over to read what one mom (a.k.a. PhD in Parenting) has done to create more balance in her life and please, share with me what you do to keep yourself centered.
19
Oct
Posted by hipm0m in blended families, bonus families, divorce, parents without partners, relationships, single parents, step-families. Leave a Comment
Once again, my mom provided me with a great resource for single parents.
Parents Without Partners was founded in 1957 by two single parents.
Parents Without Partners provides single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques. For the minor children of single parents, it offers them the opportunity to meet peers living within the same family structure and thriving.
Parents Without Partners, Inc. is now the largest international, nonprofit membership organization devoted to the welfare and interests of single parents and their children. Single parents may join one of the many chapter around the US and Canada; they may be male or female, custodial or non-custodial, separated, divorced, widowed or never married. Search for a chapter in your area.
They also introduced me to many online resources for single parents:
Check out the articles for single parents as well, with subjects like relationships, emotions, travel, dealing with divorce, and blended families.
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