Comment Luv

Comments are what makes the blogs go ’round. Seriously. If it weren’t for comments, I’d wonder if anyone was reading these words, although it probably wouldn’t make one bit of difference. I would still feel compelled to put my thoughts and opinions down in writing since that’s what us writers do.

I was a bit concerned about yesterday’s post. I didn’t really expect anyone to comment since it was a pretty personal piece that touched on many different subjects, all relating to sex.

Jared, my new BFF, wrote a simple statement in the comment field which has inspired today’s link share. If it weren’t for my dear friend – and fellow blogger – Jared, I would not know about the following amazingly wonderful sites, blogs and resources:

Just 4 Families – written by a fellow Top Health blogger through Wellsphere
minti – powered by parents
Jorim’s list – Not a blog, but a video game content resource site for parents
Will U Sit – a matchmaking service between parents and babysitters
21st Century Dad – doing everything mom does (except breastfeed)
Just Daddys – a place for dads to be dads

And last, but certainly not least, Jared’s blog, Dad Thing – a Dad’s view on parenting. I love photos and images in blogs, and one that particularly caught my attention was from a hilarious post he wrote called I Wasn’t Invited. He has other funny and insightful posts, but check this one out to get a feel for his writing.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Caught in the Act

I taught a class on sex last weekend and shared some rather intimate details about my sexual history. I believe that in order for parents to be comfortable talking to their children about sex in a healthy manner, they too need to feel comfortable talking about their own sexual history and experiences.

I still remember the day that I explained to my mom that touching myself (down there) felt good. I thought I was the first person ever to discover this. I was only five years old at the time. She turned white and immediately reacted by protecting me in every way possible since she had assumed that I had been sexually abused.

She assumed correctly, of course, although I’m not quite sure if that experience could’ve been classified as abuse, since the person who had “taught” me about sex was someone whom, I choose to believe, had not had a healthy introduction to sex himself (he was a friend’s older sister’s boyfriend).

As you can tell from reading this post, and many others found on this blog, I have never had a problem talking about my sex life, although I don’t startle random people with too much information on a regular basis.

My son discovered my vibrator last night (and my stash of condoms) while I was preparing for my date. I had, up until this point, kept these things in a fireproof safe that is always locked. Even though the safe is kept at a low level in my room (under my nightstand next to my bed) I had no idea that my son would ever be smart enough to find the keys, let alone figure out what they were for.

As I’m doing my hair, I hear my son say, “Mom, what are these?” Immediately, I knew what he was referring to and I quickly removed the items from the safe before answering his question, or had a chance to pick up anything from inside. I simply told him that the things in there were not for children and I put them away, out of his reach. I made sure that he wasn’t able to see where I put them but wondered when the right time would be to actually explain what these “secret” items really are.

Since he’s nearly five, I too, want to protect him in whatever way possible, especially when it comes to protecting his innocence. I know there will come a time when I will have to talk to him about masturbation and sexual pleasure. For now, I want him continue to be a child, playing and learning as a five-year-old should be doing while I continue to keep my adult toys a secret.

Both of these stories came to mind when I discovered the Masturbation Tips on the Women’s Health website. I have come a long way since the days when I thought that masturbation was an experience that was not to be talked about, let alone an activity that a young woman participated in.

I’ve grown to appreciate my body more and more over the years and I love discovering the ways that I can please others and show others how to please me. Being sexual is a normal and healthy part of being an adult. I have also come to have my favorite techniques when it comes to pleasuring myself, just as others do and I’m the first to tell people that the most intesne orgasms are the ones I give myself but if there’s anything I’ve learned in my twenty+ years as a sexual person, it’s that you can’t expect someone else to be able to pleasure you if you are unable to pleasure yourself.

If you are looking for ways to heal from sexual abuse, I urge you to join a support group, find a therapist that specializes in sex abuse or share your thoughts anonymously in an online forum. There are many people who share these same experiences, unfortunately, and many others who are available to help you heal.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

11 Step Program for Parents-to-Be

I have been discovering many great Moms who Twitter since joining this amazing group of women a few weeks back. Just yesterday, I found this hilarious post from Real Tech Mom and just had to share. Check out her blog and the 11 Step Program for to Complete Before Having Kids.

For many of us, we’ve found out – through hands on learning – what it truly is like to be a parent. As funny – and true – as this list is, I don’t think anyone is ever really prepared for the changes and challenges that becoming a parent brings.

I teach one hour parenting workshops and a 15-hour course on Redirecting Children’s Behavior and am amazed at all of the new and expecting parents who are eager to gain some tools and techniques to use with their children when the time comes.

Classes are scheduled in La Mesa at Java Mama and I’m pleased to announce that there will be additional workshops held in North County as well, at the Babies in Bloom boutique on the border of Oceanside and Vista.

Check out the class schedule or calendar of events for more information. I am also able to cater courses and workshops for your mom’s group, PTA or at your place of employment. Contact me to set up a customized program that fits your needs and schedule.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Newly Designed Website

I am so excited to announce that my website has a fresh look. Thanks to @mikeward of Mike Ward Design, my Happy Healthy Hip Parenting site is finally, truly hip!

Coming soon – the same fresh look at a new and improved blog site. There’s always room for improvement so if there are any suggestions that you may have regarding the website or this blog, please let me know.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Second First Date

After a successful and fun meet ‘n greet, my new male friend picked me up last night for our first official date. Let me step back a few days though to share with you how the week went.

Our meet ‘n greet was last Sunday and I had a really good time. I thought he had a good time as well. In fact, he had mentioned a “next time,” so I assumed that we’d communicate afterward about seeing each other again. Three days went by without hearing from him and I was a bit concerned. I was confused. I was disappointed. It’s not easy to get back into the dating scene, especially when it involves searching through numerous online profiles, trying to determine how to reach out to those who peak my curiosity.

On Wednesday afternoon, he finally called but, because I was at work, I wasn’t able to take the call. He did leave a message and I found myself laughing out loud when I listened to it. He joked about how he had read a Guy’s Rule Book on Dating and noted that it had officially been 72 hours since our first meeting so it was now the opportune time to follow up. Then he simply asked if he could take me to dinner on Saturday and left it at that.

I had to arrange for a babysitter in order to confirm that I could go out but that only took a few minutes of text messaging to schedule. One of my son’s former teachers who lives in our neighborhood agreed to come by to hang out with him so I could go on this date. She’s married with no children of her own (yet) and is someone my son feels completely comfortable with. What would I do without teachers like her?

Saturday arrives and it’s amazingly hot out. I’m sweating already because I’m a little nervous and I’m not quite sure what to wear. I change my outfit a record number of times before finally deciding on a black top and jean skirt. Casual for a first date, I realize, but since I was overdressed for our meet ‘n greet, I figured I could get away with it.

I had no idea where he would be taking me but this is what has always intrigued me about dates. Normally, I would be a bit concerned about getting inside someone’s car without knowing where our final destination would be, but I eagerly climbed inside when he finally came to pick me up.

He was a few minutes late and didn’t mention it when he pulled into the parking lot but since I’m notoriously late for just about everything, I really can’t hold that against him.

Once again, he impressed me. We drove up the coast and went to a restaurant overlooking the ocean. It was a beautiful night so we sat outside, enjoyed a few glasses of wine with our meal and laughed, a lot.

We played the back and forth questions game and got to know each other a bit more. Not once was there an awkward moment in the conversation – that is until I asked about why he signed up with eharmony. There was a moment of silence before he revealed that he was looking for a partner; someone he could go home to at the end of the day and share his life with.

He asked the same question of me, and since it was only fair, I admitted that I wasn’t quite sure what my goal was or is with eharmony. So far, I met a nice man who truly knows how to treat a woman and plans great date nights and I’m enjoying it. I’m not sure where this will lead or if I will meet more men to spend time with but I’m having fun, I’m making up for lost time and feeling good about myself and the man I’m getting to know. I don’t really know if there’s reason to think beyond that as far as the future is concerned. I’ve always been the type of person who lives in the moment, enjoys just being where I am and who I am with.

And I did enjoy where I was last night and who I was with. We went to a concert afterwards (I love live music) and he treated me the entire night, something I was not used to at all. We danced, laughed, touched each other innocently, but often, and when I cut the night short (I was expected home by midnight), I truly did regret having to end the date.

When he dropped me off at home, he got out of the car to walk me to the door. I embraced and thanked him for the fabulous night. I kissed him softly on the lips before saying goodnight and moments later, I fell asleep, smiling.

I thought about him as soon as I woke up, still smiling.

That was the first date that I’ve been on in a really, long time. In fact, he even asked me during dinner about the last date I had. Sadly, I couldn’t even recall when that might have been, or with who. But what I do know is that I will remember last night’s date for a long time to come and I look forward to our next.

More Dating Tips:
Dating Tips and Advice

About.com: Dating

Your Romance Guide

Relationship Advice

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Why Men Marry

I’m feeling it today. The long week and lack of sleep is affecting me and I’m having major writer’s block.

I’ve been scanning articles and blog posts on line all week, trying to gather some inspiration for an original, thoughtful and humorous post. But, I’m afraid I’ve got nothing.

Writer’s block happens to the best of us. Luckily, there’s several articles that I did find that not only include great lists (I love lists), but appeal to me as a single woman. I say this because I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for in a man, but I’m pretty sure I’d like to eventually meet a guy comfortable enough to check out the same sites that I do, namely What Men Need to Know and Husbands and Dads.

I’m not saying that guys I meet need to be married with children (seriously), but I do think that there are certain men out there who also want to eventually be in a committed relationship and are looking to meet other men to act as mentors. I appreciate the insight found at Husbands and Dads and of course, the humor found at What Men Need to Know.

If you are a man (or woman) preparing for marriage, or want to confirm the reasons why your married friends are encouraging you to find that special someone, you’ve found a great resource at the site where it’s cool to be a family man.

I was a bit disappointed that Having Sex Wearing Nothing but Socks was not on the list of 15 Things that Guys Do that Drive Women Nuts. Oh well, perhaps I should work on a list of my own.

Oh, and in case anyone’s wondering. My “not a date” from last weekend is taking me out for our first date tomorrow evening. I’ll have my report Sunday. Now pardon me while I head over to study up on the 10 Surefire First Date Conversation Tips.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

And the Winners Are…

Congratulations to Rockin’ Mama and Loving Danger. Rockin’ Mama won four out of the five giveaways offered last week (winners were selected at random, I swear). She will be receiving the Countdown to My Birth daily calendar, the Halo SleepSack, giggle guide to baby gear and Making Me. Loving Danger won the Banda Bib.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

My New Gig

I’ve been asked to write the blog at my son’s new school this year to get the parents and community excited about the Annual Fund that raises money to keep the school going.

I enjoy writing. In fact, it’s my first love. My mom taught me how to read before I started kindergarten and around that same time, I began typing short stories on her typewriter and have grown up with a passion for the written word.

As I’ve grown – and evolved – so has my passion for writing. From poetry to fiction, erotica to my current interest in non-fiction, I’ve been expanding my horizons for three decades now, moving from one writing project to another.

I’m pleased and honored to have the opportunity to write in yet another capacity, even if it is for a select audience like the parents at my son’s school. Even though my son’s just beginning his “career” at this school in Pre-K, the children he’s in class with every day are going to be his friends for life, or at least that’s my hope for him. The school is an independent school and will go through the 8th grade so he will literally grow up with these same kids.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts and inspirations with the parents at school. Hopefully, I’ll be able to continue to juggle all of the responsibilities in my life. I have trouble saying no and this project was no exception. I do feel, however, that my belief in the school and my passion for children and families will be a contagious force that continues to help our community grow.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Trading Up

I wrote about The Great Minivan Trade Up last month and I was excited to learn that Dad of Divas is moving along smoothly in his goals.

He was interviewed recently by his local paper, the Herald Times Reporter. Since the current trade up includes drinks with a fellow blogger, I figured I’d have to come up with something equally exciting to offer as a trade up.

Suddenly, I’m reminded of my first day on the Stanford University campus just a few months back. I was there for the Professional Publishing Course and found myself at the bookstore just hours before checking into my dorm.

Just as I was about to head to the opening class, two young teenage boys stopped me. Or perhaps there were three. They were very shy, looked extremely nervous and a little annoyed at the person who ignored them just seconds before turning to me. I stopped to hear what they had to say.

Apparently, as part of their assignment for their summer class, they were asked to hold a similar experiment in trading up. They offered me a band-aid and asked if I had something of more value in exchange. They even suggested a pen or pencil, which I of course had on hand.

After they thanked me and walked on to the next unsuspecting bystander, I realized that I had actually gotten the better deal here. After all, pens are easy to come by these days. Companies give them away, people leave them behind or you can easily find a woman with a purse who most likely has one.

But, ask your average Joe for a band-aid and you’d be hard-pressed to find one. As a mom, I typically have one in my purse but I was pretty surprised that these young students felt that a pen was of more value. The value of certain material things is subjective.

Back to my point. The blogger, Weaselmomma, who kindly offered her company during Happy Hour along with her recipes for some pretty amazing goodies, realizes the value of these two things. Oh, and she even threw in an autographed photo of herself so you can say you knew her when she becomes famous.

Even if this mini-van trade up does not make her famous, it most certainly will provide her with some new readers. So, to my readers, I now challenge you. What would you trade this little package (approximate value $250) for?

Head on over to The Great Mini-Van Trade Up to offer up your own collection of goodies.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Words of Wisdom

Things have changed since I was in high school and certainly since my parents were teenagers. Young people today are constantly “connected” and social networking has changed the way people meet, date and get to know one another.

One thing that I noticed is that my perception, of myself and the world, has changed quite drastically since I was young.

My life experiences have made me more confident, more comfortable and because of this, more attractive. I’m not afraid to look someone in the eye and say this and I hope that all young women will embrace this knowledge for themselves:

A woman should not expect to feel special because a man treats her well. She should expect a man to treat her well because she is special.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home