Change of Address

I’ve never been good about sending out Thank you cards even though I have every intention to do so. I have invested in Thank You cards over the years that just end up in my stationary box and vary in theme. I still like good, old-fashioned face-to-face conversations and will acknowledge gift-givers in person, or at least over the phone. On occasion, I’ll send an email (as I did when the baby was born and I realized it had been over a month since my amazing friends showered us with gifts).

I never did, however, send a change of address notice to my friends and family when we moved in November. Perhaps it’s because I know the post office will forward everything to me and that there is very little mail I get that doesn’t come in electronic format these days.

My blog has a new address and you won’t automatically get sent over there and your subscriptions won’t carry over either. I’d love for you to visit the new site and see the posts that appear there that will not show up here. Subscribe if you will and please, please, leave a comment. That way I know what you’re interested in reading about and what you might not find so appealing. After all, this space wouldn’t be here without readers.

And thank you. Thank you. Thank You for your loyalty over the years. This past year has been a whirlwind of changes and new additions and I couldn’t be more excited to start my 34th year in a new space and with a fresh perspective on what the next year will bring.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Merging: Marriage and Money

Thank you to TurboTax for sponsoring my writing about household finances. Learn more about how TurboTax can help you find every tax deduction you deserve. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

When you get married or move in with your significant other, you merge more than just your finances, but the discussion about money is something that every couple should sit down and have, prior to tying the knot or signing a lease together.

When my husband and I first talked about marriage, we were practical before romantic and talked about our finances in detail. We shared with one another how much money we made and joked about how much debt we were bringing into the relationship.

One of the first things we did before getting married, was put together a spreadsheet with our income and expenses. Both of us created our own, separately, shared them with each other and then thoughtfully came up with one spreadsheet based on our combined income and expenses. We started speaking in terms of “we” and “us,” focusing on how to reduce our bills and working together to come up with a budget that was both realistic and fair.

Since we got married, I’ve taken over the responsibility of paying our bills, mostly because having one person manage the money seems to make the most sense for us. While we do have separate accounts still we have pulled all of our info together into a joint account at Mint.com which easily keeps track of what we’re spending and manages our budget for us.

Major purchases are always discussed ahead of time so we know what to set aside and how much we can truly afford. The only downside to having easy access to all of this information is that neither of us can surprise the other with a gift since every penny is tracked and organized into specific categories. Of course, that’s what cash is for.

While there are many important details to discuss prior to the wedding day, couples should recognize that money matters are nearly always a point of disagreement when not discussed in advance. Schedule a time to sit down with your partner to talk about who will pay the bills, how much you plan on saving, investing, and spending. You’ll be glad you did.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Rebel with good cause

At anytime in my life, if someone told me I couldn’t do something, I wanted to do it even more. When my doctor told me I couldn’t have a VBAC (with baby #2), I wanted to prove him wrong as well. I wanted to prove that getting a second opinion was the best thing that I could do for myself and for my child.

I did end up having a successful VBAC, once I switched doctors and chose San Diego County’s first World Health Organization-designated Baby-Friendly birth pavilion to deliver at.

One of the first things they did when I checked-in at the hospital was ask if I had a Birth Plan. They read it over and confirmed everything with me and made sure it was followed precisely as I had outlined. My labor and delivery could not have gone smoother.

Now, I realize that I have a high tolerance for pain but having a drug-free, natural VBAC would still not have happened if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband supported me 100% as well as my doctor, the entire hospital staff and my support system of friends and family. Every time I doubted my ability to birth naturally, my people stepped in and reminded me that I could. I believed them because they believed in me.

My son is almost three months old now and I still can’t believe that my original doctor would have insisted that I have a c-section with him. I’d still be in recovery mode and I’d still be doubting the choice I made regarding his birth. I do believe that it should be our choice to birth the way we want to. After all, it’s our bodies and our babies that we’re  ultimately responsible for.

I understand that having a c-section may be medically necessary for some women. I know that there are times when there is really no other alternative, but when the pregnancy has gone smoothly and there’s been ample time between pregnancies (my first son was just days away from turning 7 when baby #2 was born), I also know that birthing naturally is much safer than many would have us believe.

I did my research. I spent many hours reading reports, stories, medical journals and pages from the CDC regarding both repeat C-sections and VBACs. After drowning in thoughts of the health risks associated with both options, I decided that – for me – having a VBAC would be the best choice. I wish it were easier to come to that decision. I felt so alone in having to search for information and finding a doctor that would support me.

I also felt guilt in either choice since there were many people telling me (society in general) that it was selfish of me to want to birth naturally (against what my doctor told me) and that it was selfish of me to have another c-section. I juggled both alternatives up until I finally switched doctors late in my third trimester.

As moms, we’re led to guilty feelings over many of the choices we make in raising our children. I don’t think the guilt needs to begin before our children are even born.

I’m not sure what the point of this post really is, after all, it started out with a discussion about rebellion and how I tend to want things more when they’re forbidden but I don’t believe that anything should be forbidden about the way we bring our children into the world. After all, we are able to choose whether or not we want to become parents in the first place and I believe this pro-choice mentality should carry over into other aspects of our life as well.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you go against your doctor’s orders in any situation, but I do suggest that you do your research and then do what’s best for you. Use the resources that are out there and use your friends to help make the best choice but don’t let others tell you what to do, or what not to do. We’re all different and what works for some, might not work for others. I did what was best for me and what was best for my baby and I have no regrets.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Celebrate Children’s Book Week

This year’s Children’s Book Week is less than 50 days away. Mark your calendar for the week of May 2 – 8 when the official Children’s Book Week takes place. Events are held around the country at local bookstores but you can host your own celebration, at home or at school, if you can’t make it to these locations.

Voting is now open for the 2011 Children’s Choice Book Awards. Voting ends April 29th so you have plenty of time to read all of the books by each of the finalists in time to make your decision on the author and illustrator of your choice.

For me, reading with my son is the best way to end our day together. At the end of the night, lying in bed with my husband while he reads next to me is another magical moment. We both look forward to the day when our baby boy will be able to join us in the reading circle.

Please share your favorite memory around reading, your favorite children’s book, children’s book author, illustrator, or anything else you’d like to share regarding books and reading with or to a child.

#ChildrensBookWeek
Since 1919

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Surviving Early Parenthood

The first few months of motherhood are especially challenging. Sleep deprivation and trying to translate baby’s cries while somehow getting everything else done is not easy.

Surviving early parenthood requires much support from family and friends, especially at the end of the day when both baby and mom are ready to have a melt down.

With my first son, I had two months of maternity leave before returning to work, full-time. Every morning, I would shower and get myself ready, eat breakfast, wake up the baby to feed and dress him, pack my lunch, grab the breast pump (in its convenient backpack) and change the baby’s diaper once again before heading out the door for work. By noon, I had already fed the baby three times, pumped twice and daydreamed about finally hitting the pillow at the end of the night.

My inspiration

Working from home brings on a set of entirely different challenges. While I don’t have to shower or put make-up on for this job, it does require quiet time when I can sit and write without interruption. We all know how that goes with an infant to tend to.

I was asked, recently, to share some advice for working moms in regards to returning to work after having a baby. I laughed at that request, since I could certainly use some tips myself on balancing a work-at-home career while taking care of a baby.

If you have any tips or suggestions, please share them!

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

iBreastfeed

I breastfed my oldest son for 8 months. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. When he was two months old, I returned to work, full-time, and I pumped regularly, storing my breastmilk in the office refrigerator and traveling back and forth to work each day with my Medela breatpump.

At seven years old, he remains very healthy, hardly ever getting sick (I can’t remember the last time he even had a cough or runny nose) and I can’t help but wonder if this is due to the fact that I gave him the healthiest start as possible.

My new baby is just now two months old and he, too, is a breastfed baby. Even though I gave away every single baby and maternity item I had in my possession in between my two kids, the same Medela breastpump made its way back into my home after my sister used it when she breastfed her two boys. The fact that it’s lasted this long is a sign that it was worth every penny.

There are so many things that have changed in the last seven years, but after doing research on the evolution of breastfeeding products and companies that support breastfeeding families, I was pleased to see that Medela, a trusted name among breastfeeding moms and lactation consultants from all over the world, was still at the top of the list.

One of the new products that Medela offers is the Breastmilk Labeling & Storage System which slides easily into your freezer or refrigerator. I remember, with my first son, trying to stand up the milk bags along the freezer wall when they were still warm. Being sleep deprived didn’t help, since I would often forget to label the bags or place them in the right order (freshest first so it’s easier to grab and go). Medela’s new Breastmilk Labeling & Storage System helps to identify the freshest breastmilk to avoid waste. I recommend buying 2 (or adding 2 to your registry); one for the fridge and the second for your freezer.

The small, inexpensive system contains 1 storage tray, 2 labeling lids, and two 5 ounce BPA-free bottles. The storage tray works with Medela bottles or the Medela Pump & Save™ breastmilk storage bags. If you do use the bottle, you’ll want to take advantage of the labeling lids that twist-and-lock into place the day of the week and am, pm or mid-day so you know exactly when the milk was expressed. There’s also two sides to the container, with  “in” and “out” arrows to indicate which breastmilk bottle (or storage bag) is next in line to be used.

Another great service that Medela provides is its new smartphone app, iBreastfeed, an application that keeps a log of baby’s every movement. Whether it’s his sleep schedule you’re trying to keep track of, or his eating schedule, the app is a great way to monitor baby’s intake (and what comes out of him or her) each day. The app even allows you to track more than one baby so moms of multiples can use the app to keep track of their busy schedules.

Why do you breastfeed? You could win your very own Medela Breastmilk Labeling & Storage System by simply commenting on this post. Let us know why you choose to breastfeed OR how long you breastfed your children in order to be entered into this great giveaway.

iBreastfeed because it’s the best thing for my baby.

• Research shows that breastfed infants have fewer and shorter episodes of illness.
• Breastfeeding is the most natural and nutritious way to encourage your baby’s optimal development.
• Colostrum (the first milk) is a gentle, natural laxative that helps clear baby’s intestine, decreasing the chance for jaundice to occur.
• The superior nutrition provided by breastmilk benefits your baby’s IQ.
• Breastfeeding is a gentle way for newborns to transition to the world outside the womb.
• The skin-to-skin contact encouraged by breastfeeding offers babies greater emotional security and enhances bonding.
• The activity of sucking at the breast enhances development of baby’s oral muscles, facial bones, and aids in optimal dental development.
• Breastfeeding appears to reduce the risk of obesity and hypertension.
• Breastfeeding delays the onset of hereditary allergic disease, and lowers the risk of developing allergic disease.
• Breastfeeding helps the baby’s immune system mature, protecting the baby in the meantime from viral, bacteria, and parasitic infections.
• Breastfeeding increases the effectiveness of immunizations, increasing the protection against polio, tetanus, and diptheria vaccines.
• Breastfeeding protects against developing chronic diseases such as: celiac disease, inflammatory bowel disease, asthma, and childhood cancers.

The benefits of breastfeeding appear to last even after the baby has been weaned.

iBreastfeed because of the benefits I receive.

• Developing a strong bond with baby.
• Helping the uterus return to pre-pregnancy size more quickly.
• Burning more calories.
• Producing relaxing hormones.
• Reducing the risk of developing pre-menopausal breast cancer.
• Reducing the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers.
• Reducing the risk of developing Type-II diabetes.

iBreastfeed because of the impact it has on my entire family.

• Depending on the cost of formula and how much your baby needs each day, you could save nearly $200.00 in formula costs in just the first month.
• In one year, a family with one infant could save anywhere between $715.00 and $3,165.00 by feeding with breastmilk rather than buying formula.
• Breastfeeding also helps save on health care costs as breastfed infants typically need fewer health care visits, prescription and hospitalizations.

If you’re looking for support in your area, check out the Breastfeeding National Network for places to buy or rent Medela products. Be sure to follow Medela on Twitter or Facebook.Medela provided me with a storage system to review along with a second storage system to give away. Let us know the number one reason you chose for breastfeeding your baby OR how long you breastfeed your child to be entered to win.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Spreading the Love

Each of us has an emotional bank account that keeps us happy and directly relates to a healthy self-esteem. You can think of it like a gas tank too. You can’t run on empty and having over a half tank gets you where you need to go efficiently and without worry. Being able to fill our children and partner’s emotional accounts is the key to a happy family. Being able to ask for what we need to fill ours makes our day-to-day life more enjoyable.

Love Bags

Your kids will enjoy this activity and everyone will feel more connected, knowing what it is that makes each family member feel complete and how to help us keep our own accounts full by asking for what we need.

You can use whatever type of bag you want. Some people choose paper bags that you can decorate with crayons, markers, or stickers. Others prefer cloth bags that are soft and made of material that reflects each family member’s personality. Gift bags and plastic bags with a Valentine’s theme can also be purchased for this activity.

Once each family member has a bag to work with, they will write down on small pieces of paper things to do or say that makes them feel loved. For example, “rub my back,” or “tell me something you love about me,” or “play a board game with me.”

Parents and/or older siblings can help create love bags for children that might not be able to write or verbally communicate what it is that they want included inside. For most young children, it’ll be hugs, reading aloud to them or anything else that requires one-on-one time, down on the floor together.

When someone in the family feels discouraged or just needs some extra loving, they can bring their love bag to another family member. That person selects one item from the bag and gives them what they need in that moment. This also works great for “make-ups” between family members instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry.”

Couples can make separate “adult” love bags as well that they can use to help keep them feel more connected on a romantic level. Be as playful or as naughty as you want – just don’t be afraid to ask your partner to pick something from your love bag when you desire some passion in your day. You’ll also get bonus points with your significant other if you select something from their love bag when they least expect it.

Love Feast

Incorporating this activity into your regular routine makes everyone smile. In our family, we hold a Love Feast for individuals on their birthday. We also do a family Love Feast on Thanksgiving and special occasions. Of course, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to start and implement this new tradition in your home.

At the dinner table or whenever you choose to start the Love Feast, each person will be asked to share something they love with the person across from them, or next to them. It’s simple, fun and something your children will ask to do on a regular basis.

“What I love about you is…” makes a great start to any day. It is also a great thing to say to someone after you’ve done something to put a kink in the relationship. If your child or partner has a bad day at school or work, having a Love Feast will help boost them up – and you as well when you see how their spirits are lifted.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your little ones? Share some of your ideas in the comments section so we can help spread the love on February 14th and every day of the year.

The idea for the Love Bags and Love Feast are from the 5-week parenting course on Redirecting Children’s Behavior created by Kathryn Kvols.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Commitment

At the beginning of the year, I committed to fully participating in the #NewYearNewMe weight loss challenge, sponsored by Larabar, Yoga Pulse, GoodBelly, Our Love Yoga and The CarbLovers Diet. It’s been nearly 6 weeks since I made that first pledge, and the fact that I’m finding myself tightening my belt and pulling up my pants lately is just one sign that I’ve managed to lose the baby weight successfully.

Maintaining an overall healthy lifestyle another thing, all together.

It would help if I had someone here to hold me accountable for my actions since my newborn baby certainly doesn’t mind when I skip our daily stroll or when I devour an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in a 48-hour period. Ironically, these aren’t included among the food choices in the CalorieStory app.

To say that it doesn’t really affect anyone if I don’t stick to my plan is so not true. It affects my entire family since I’m more cranky and less patient when I don’t stick to healthy meals or if I skip my daily walk.

Where’s my personal trainer when I need him?

Several bloggers around the country also took on this #NewYearNewMe challenge:

• Nina Say @ The One Fantastical
• Gina @ A Wrestling Addicted Mommy
• Crazy Coupon Mommy @ Deals 4 Dummies
• Jen @ Sisterly Savings
• Mary @ Everyday Baby Steps
• Alaina @ Dinker & Giggles
• Stacey @ San Diego Bargain Mama
• Tanya @ Mommy Goggles

I’ll be checking in with them throughout the next few months and asking them to check-in with me, too. Otherwise, I’m afraid I might fall off the wagon again, so to speak. In regards to eating healthy and maintaining a regular exercise routine, I’m really the only one who can hold myself accountable.

One day at a time…

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Size does matter

If I didn’t have kids, I would still drive a mini-van, in fact, I drove a mini-van in high school and for a brief period during college. True story. Of course, it was my parents’ vehicle in high school and I inherited it after moving away to school.

It was the party van when I was behind the wheel – only because it fit so many passengers that I quickly became the official designated driver for every occasion. Of course, that meant I had to spend the night wherever we were if alcohol was involved but that was fine with me. I could sleep in the back comfortably with the seats down. I’d use blankets and a sleeping bag to stay warm so it was perfect for me for so many reasons.

My snowboard fit perfectly in the back as well, so the seats usually remained folded down. I’d use the back to get dressed and undressed after a day on the hill.

For a small period after this mini-van stage, I did drive smaller cars. I drove a Plymouth Horizon, a 1967 VW Beetle and a 1999 Honda Civic. The Civic was what I was driving when my first son was born. It didn’t take too long to realize that it wasn’t the most convenient vehicle to get a car seat in and out of after having a c-section. I hit my head one too many times backing out of the back seat after getting him settled into his spot. It got old really fast, although I do wish I had the luxury of having my mid-life crisis car on hand as well.

The third generation Nissan Quest came out in early 2004 and with its unique design (at the time), it appealed to me in many ways. I purchased a brand new SL edition when my son was just 4 months old. It was the perfect upgrade for a new mom. The features were great, especially the automatic doors and the fact that I could sit in the back row seat to breastfeed, change his diaper and easily store the stroller along with groceries and large boxes of diapers without compromise.

When I moved (two times in the last two years), the seats folded down to reveal the massive space where I was able to fit dozens of boxes, furniture and pretty much every single one of my possessions. And now that I have a new baby, I’m revisiting the back row to breastfeed and change his diaper. And, once again, the Costco trips are much easier with the automatic back door that allows room for the big boxes of items we stock up on every month.

Recently, I had the opportunity to test drive the new 2011 Nissan Quest and although I didn’t have my kids with me at the time (I was pregnant with Baby #2) I fell in love with the new features that make this 4th generation mini-van even more appealing than my current vehicle (the 2004 Nissan Quest).

The back seats go down now with the touch of a button and the windows roll down in the second row where my kids would be. My oldest son would love this feature. He always complains that his window doesn’t open. I know we’d all appreciate the dual opening glass moonroof. The Clean Air System is also an exciting feature since it filters out the cigarette smoke coming from the car in front of you (my biggest pet peeve while driving).

The body of this mini-van stands out again as it does not look like a mini-van nor does it look like a boxy SUV. Driving it was a dream. It felt like a luxury vehicle and (maybe because my kids weren’t in the back) it did not feel like I was driving a big car with room for 7 passengers.

My family is visiting soon and I’m eager to put the 2011 Nissan Quest to the ultimate test. I’m waiting to find out if we’ll be able to have an extended test drive in March so that each of the seats can be utilized and we can truly check out all of the features and get the full experience of having the car in our possession for more than a few hours.

If I didn’t have kids, I would still drive a mini-van and the 2011 Nissan Quest would be the one I would choose if I could.

Nissan provided me with a spa treatment and lunch on the day of my #NissanQuestDrive experience.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home

Do parents get to sleep-in anymore?

My son and I started a family tradition a few years back of having sleepovers in the living room. We pull out our sleeping bags and a big pile of blankets and sleep on the floor. Sleepovers involve eating snacks while watching a movie (of his choosing) and staying up late. It’s great to see how excited he gets when we have a sleepover but just the thought of being able to sleep-in gets me excited.

With a new baby, or young children of any age, sleep is something most of us moms and dads daydream about and can never seem to get enough of. Yes, sleeping in sounds like a thing of the past even though I know how important it is – for all of us – to get plenty of rest.

February 19th is National Sleep-In Day and I’m hoping that we can take advantage of it by staying in our PJs a bit longer than usual that morning. My sister and her oldest son will be visiting so perhaps a sleepover the night before will also be on the agenda.

P.J. Salvage, a clothing line that makes cute and comfy pjs will be donating 500 pairs of pajamas to The Pajama Program, a non-profit organization that delivers books and pajamas to children and teens living in foster homes, awaiting adoption.

Celebrating its 10th year, The Pajama Program is a great way to get your family involved by donating new books or pajamas to kids that might not have someone to tuck them in each night.

In conjunction with National Sleep-In Day, P.J. Salvage wants to remind parents of the importance of getting a good night’s sleep:

• Quality of sleep, not quantity, can improve overall health. Our bodies need deep sleep to metabolize glucose properly. People should generally aim for 7-9 hours of sleep a night.

• Sleep strengthens our mental muscle. It helps us focus, stay alert, think critically, creatively and logically. With sufficient sleep, we can set goals and plan to see them through.

• Sleep directly affects physical performance by enhancing our reaction time and productivity to keep us on our A Game.

• Sleep helps us stay fit. Without quality sleep, our body goes into starvation mode and releases stress and growth hormones that stimulate hunger and retain fat in our abdominal region. This often causes the appearance of a bloated or rounded tummy.

• Sleep energizes us and allows us to motivate for our favorite activities. Sleep helps refuel our internal gas tank. When we’re on empty, we just can’t go because we’re too lethargic to move.

• Sleep provides restorative time for worn down muscles and body parts. When we work out, we break down our muscles, which then need to rebuild to become stronger and leaner. Sleep is an essential part of that process. Without it our muscles can and won’t change and our bodies will feel sore for longer. Physical activity is not enough on it’s own to deliver weight loss and toning results. Sound sleep is just as important to sculpting a beautiful body.

Sleep comes in all shapes and sizes. Getting a catnap in on the couch does wonders for my afternoon – and my sanity.

Check out this awesome sleep chart that provides guidelines on how much sleep your little ones should be getting. My first son was sleeping through the night at three months, thanks to this chart.

Try to sleep when your baby sleeps. You’ll see the difference it makes when you follow that one simple suggestion. If only I could take my own advice.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting
Peace Begins in the Home